Who are orthopedic shoes good for?

Generally, Dr. Lobkova says orthopedic shoes are great for active people who spend a lot of time on their feet. Traditionally though, they were meant for people with pain and deformity in the feet, ankles, knees, or lower back. Elena Wellens, DPM, a podiatric surgeon at Rothman Orthopaedics, notes people with arthritis, plantar fasciitis, tendonitis, and flat feet most commonly benefit from orthopedic shoes. That said, these functional or alignment issues aren’t always obvious, so Dr. Lobkova advises seeing a podiatrist for diagnostics and recommended footwear for your specific needs.

All that said, if the term “orthopedic shoes” conjures up images of shoes your grandma wears, there’s good news. You no longer have to choose between style or comfort. “As our understanding of foot biomechanics and its relationship with foot and ankle conditions (such as plantar fasciitis, tendonitis, and arthritis) has evolved, more shoe manufacturers are designing shoes with sound orthopedic components while incorporating style, as well,” Dr. Wellens says.

In other words, orthopedic shoes are cool and stylish now (and you’ll see what we mean as you keep scrolling!).

What to look for in the best orthopedic shoes for women

Comfort and a good fit

First and foremost, Dr. Lobkova says comfort is key, and the only way to truly know if an orthopedic shoe will work for you is by trying them on and briefly walking around in them. They shouldn’t feel too tight or too loose.

A firm heel counter

Also, note how your heel feels. The shoe’s heel counter (aka, the back part of the shoe) should be firm, Dr. Lobkova says, as that will stabilize the heel and help diminish pain and inflammation in the heel and arch of the foot.

Cushioned midsole with arch support

A thick, cushioned midsole is also a must. “The rigidity of the midsole of a shoe dictates the stability of the shoe,” Dr. Lobkova says. So a thick, cushy midsole will help prevent excessive impact on the foot. Also, ensure the insole provides arch support. Particularly, she recommends looking for a firm elevation in the arch with a deeper heel cup and cushioning in the heel and ball of the foot.

Round and deep toe box area

“Many foot deformities occur in the ball of the foot (i.e., bunion, hammertoes, neuromas, etc.), so this area is important not to squeeze or irritate for a prolonged period of time,” Dr. Lobkova says. So, an excellent orthopedic shoe for women will have a round toe box with some depth (i.e. avoid pointy-toed or narrow shoes).

Rubber outsole with stable grip

The shoe’s outsole also matters. Here’s why: “The rubber outsole dictates the traction in the shoe,” Dr. Lobkova says. “Look for a suitable outsole that provides a stable grip yet is not too bulky.”

So overall, podiatrists recommend avoiding shoes that are too flexible and narrow and don’t provide adequate shock absorption, stability, arch support, and cushioning. To help make your orthopedic shoe shopping experience easier, Dr. Lobkova and Dr. Wellens share their recommendations for the best orthopedic shoes for women below.

Best orthopedic walking shoes for women:

Hoka, Bondi 8 — $165.00

Available sizes: women’s 5-12, in half sizes and two widths

For walking and running, Dr. Wellens is a fan of the popular Hoka Bondi sneakers (Bondi 8 is the latest iteration) because they offer excellent stability, support, and shock absorption, which are things you want in a good orthopedic shoe.

These shoes have a seal of acceptance from the American Podiatric Medical Association, meaning podiatrists reviewed them to ensure they promote foot health. They also come in various fun color combinations, so you can’t go wrong with these cool and comfortable ortho shoes.

Read a full review of the Hoka Bondi 8 here.

Colors: 13

Pros: 

• Excellent cushioning and shock absorption
• Supportive
• Neutral stability
• Recycled, vegan materials

Cons:

• Expensive
• The rocker heel might be too much for some people

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Klaw, Klaw 528 — $148.00

Available sizes: women’s 6-11, in two widths

Dr. Lobkova gave the title of the “best orthopedic walking shoes for women” to these Klaw sneakers, dubbed design-forward walking sneakers. “All the aspects of an optimal walking biomechanical system were taken into account to create this sneaker, including an insole with a deep heel cup, medial and lateral arch support, plenty of cushioning in the lightweight midsole, and an optimal heel-to-toe drop of 7mm,” Dr. Lobkova says. Full disclosure: Dr. Lobkova contributed to the technical design for Klaw footwear.

Colors: 4

Pros: 

• Excellent cushioning
• Excellent arch support
• Grippy tread
• Forefoot rocker

Cons:

• Limited colors
• No half sizing available

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New Balance, 990 — $185.00

The model-approved New Balance 990 sneakers also tick all the boxes that Dr. Wellens looks for in orthopedic shoes for women. Stability? Check. Support? You bet. Shock absorption? Yup! These trendy shoes pair well with many outfits so that you can rock them for walking and style purposes. Win, win.

Read up on the best podiatrist-approved styles of New Balance shoes here.

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Asics, Gel Kayano 29 — $160.00

Available sizes: women’s 5-13, in half sizes

Dr. Wellens also enjoys the Asics Gel Kayano lineup of orthopedic walking and running shoes. They offer the support your feet need and come in various color combinations. The Gel Kayano 29 style, in particular, is designed for overpronators, aka folks whose foot rolls inward and arches flatten when walking.

Colors: 12+

Pros:

• Excellent arch support
• Neutral stability
• Great cushioning and shock absorption
• Ideal for running and walking

Cons:

• Only available in standard widths
• Designed for overpronators—those with high arches may have pain

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Most comfortable orthopedic shoes for women:

Sketchers GO Walk Massage FIt — $100.00

Available sizes: women’s 5-9, in half sizes

For comfortable orthopedic shoes for casual, everyday activities, Dr. Wellens says you can’t go wrong with a shoe from Sketchers’ Go Walk lineup, which includes everything from flip-flop sandals and slides to boots and sneakers. The Go Massage Fit is a great sneaker choice, since it features easy lace-up engineered mesh which makes putting on and taking off low-effort, a synthetic hotmelt upper, and a shock-absorbing cushioned midsole. Basically, it’s a bouncy, cushion-y shoe ideal for those who want to feel like they’re walking on clouds—even if they’re walking or standing all day long.

Colors: 2

Pros:

• Affordable
• Lightweight
• Cushioned
• Vegan

Cons: 

• Limited sizes
• Only available in standard width

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Kuru, Chicane Women’s Trail Hiking Shoe — $165.00

Available sizes: women’s 6-12, in half sizes and two widths

Although they’re designed for hiking, Dr. Wellens says these Kuru shoes offer comfort for everyday activities thanks to their ergonomic fit (think built-in arch support, rounded heel cups, and a curved insole). Bonus points: They’re available in medium and wide widths and six colorways.

Colors: 6

Pros: 

• Excellent arch support  
• Excellent tread
• Ergonomic fit
• Designed with pressure-distribution

 Cons: 

• Expensive
• Designed for hiking—might be too much for casual wear

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Best orthopedic shoes with arch support:

Birkenstock Bend Low Shoes — $150.00

Available sizes: women’s 5-5.5-12-12.5 in two widths

If you’re already a fan of the classic Birkenstock sandals, known for their cork footbed with arch support and a deep heel cup, Dr. Lobkova says you’ll be delighted to learn that the brand also has a sneakers version. If you’ve worn Birkenstock sandals, then you’re already familiar with how well the footbed provides a raised arch to support flat feet and fallen arches—the shoe has the same design and offers the same benefits. The upper is constructed from a soft suede leather, and the cork-latex footbed is entirely removable if you want.

Colors: 4

Pros:

• Moldable cork footbed (it’s removable, too)
• Built-in arch support
• Deep heel cups for stability
• Affordable

Cons:

• Cork might be uncomfortable to break in
• Low ankle support

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Dansko, Fawna — $140.00

Available sizes: women’s 4.5-5-12.5-13 in two widths

Another great podiatrist-recommended arch support orthopedic shoe option are these classic Mary Jane shoes by Dansko which feature a removable cushioned footbed with added arch support. The color options (black, chestnut, and navy) are limited, but they make up for it by offering regular and wide width sizes. Dansko is known for its high-quality footwear, and you can see it (and feel it) with its burnished leather uppers and supremely soft microfiber lining. It’s a great option for a more “dressy”-looking shoe without feeling like a heel or unsupportive flat.

Colors: 3

Pros: 

• Built-in arch support
• EVA midsole
• Durable outsole

Cons: 

• Expensive
• Limited sizes/colorways

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Best orthopedic comfortable shoes for work:

Aetrex, Frankie Boot — $170.00

Available sizes: women’s 5-5.5-10.5-11

What style of work shoe is best for you will, of course, depend on your line of work, but if you’re looking for something that you can dress up and down without looking too casual, these boots, recommended by Dr. Wellens, perfectly fit the bill. What makes them stand-out boots is their insole, which provides arch heel support, and overall stabilization—and it’s the reason why you can wear these hours on end with no pain. There’s also stretchy gore material on both sides, making the fit more comfortable while you wear them, and when you put them on or take them off. The upper material is genuine leather, and the outsole is a lightweight rubber and cork, so they don’t feel heavy. Plus, they featured a lug sole for traction (they’re not specifically non-slip, so just FYI). Another bonus? They’re weather-friendly (their construction is fully sealed, as to prevent water from seeping in), making them a great choice year-round.

Colors: 3

Pros: 

• Built-in arch support
• Durable outsole
• Stretchy and adjustable
• Weather-resistant

Cons:

• Expensive
• No zippers
• Only available in standard width
• Not non-slip

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Kuru, Quantum Sneakers — $160.00

Available sizes: women’s 5-12, in half sizes and two widths

Dr. Lobkova gives her podiatrist stamp of approval to these sneakers for a few reasons. They have a wide and deep toe box, giving your toes the extra wiggle room they need. The Kuru Quantum Sneakers are also supportive, she says, and have a great outsole that provides optimal traction, making them a great everyday work shoe. The shoes are available in eight colors, including jet black with aqua accents and violet with an orange pop.

Colors: 9

Pros: 

• Wide, deep toe-box
• Built-in support and stability
• Breathable

Cons: 

• Expensive

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Best orthopedic dress shoes:

Gabor, Wedge Boot — $219.00

Available sizes: women’s 6-11, in half sizes

For a night out or any occasion when you want to dress up a bit more while ensuring your feet are comfortable, Dr. Lobkova points to these wedge boots. Especially if you’re looking for some height, wedges are a better alternative to heels, since they give feet more support (and balance). These come in a black leather or suede version, featuring a thick sole for maximum comfort and support.

Colors: 2

Pros:

• Stylish
• Thick, durable outsole
• Wide, stable wedge heel

Cons: 

• Expensive
• Only available in standard width
• Might not be stable for those with weak ankles

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Geox, Walk Pleasure 85 Women — $180.00

Available sizes: women’s 5-10.5, in half sizes

Wedge boots still too casual? Really prefer heels? Try these classic high-heel pumps. Dr. Lobkova advises checking out the brand Geox, in general, for their nice selection of dress heels that feature a platform (aka cushioning) under the ball of the foot. The heel height is 3’5” which is just enough to give you height without going overboard. Featuring chic patent leather, a breathable outsole, a Zero-Shock system for generous cushioning, you’ll be able to walk in these all day long, no problem. Finally, a heel that can truly walk the walk.

Colors: 2

Pros: 

• Built-in cushioning
• Durable tread
• Wide heel

Cons: 

• Expensive
• Limited colors
• Only available in standard width

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Vionic, Adalena Heel — $140.00

Available sizes: 5-11, in half sizes

Vionic is another orthopedic dress shoe brand Dr. Wellens recommends checking out. In particular, consider these oh-so-stylish leather heels that come in cream, nude, black, and bright pink. Thanks to a sculpted heel shape that provides stability, they give you height (four inches!) without sacrificing comfort. If these dress shoes aren’t your style, she recommends browsing Vionic’s site, as the brand has many other comfortable and stylish options, such as the Josie and Ziva kitten heels.

Colors: 4

Pros:

• Stable heel
• Built-in cushioning
• Deep heel cup
• Affordable

Cons:

• Only available in standard width

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After a long winter of dormancy, spring is when your houseplants, well, spring back to life, according to plant doctor and stylist Maryah Greene. “During winter, they’re not pushing out too many leaves,” she says. “They’re just sort of sleeping.” But once spring rolls around, longer days mean more sunlight for the plants, allowing them to start growing rapidly again. And in order for them to reap the benefits of all that light and truly thrive, they may benefit from a cleaning and some maintenance, too.

Before diving in, however, it’s important to keep one guideline in mind, says Greene: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” This means that if your plants seem happy, you don’t need to make too many adjustments this spring (see: light dusting and pruning below). But, if your houseplants do show some signs of unhappiness, read on to learn how to clean and maintain them this spring in order to ensure they experience a healthy, happy warm-weather season.

Here’s how to clean and maintain your houseplants this spring to enhance their growth

1. Give them a good dusting

First up, treat your plants to the freshness of dust-free leaves. By removing the layer of dust sitting on top of the plants’ leaves, they’ll be better able to absorb sunlight, which promotes an increased growth rate, says Greene.

For smaller plants, you can dust them with a damp microfiber cloth, swiping it over the tops and bottoms of leaves; and for larger ones, Greene likes to dust with a Swiffer duster. This way, you can also pop off the disposable dusting pad and replace with a new one in between plants, which reduces the risk of passing an infection or disease from one plant to another, she says.

Nika Vaughan, the founder of Chicago-based plant and beauty shop Plant Salon, also suggests cleaning your plants with a pest-deterrent spray, like a neem oil spray, to help remove dust and debris while also repelling and knocking out pests that may be lurking under leaves.

2. Do some light pruning

Use this spring-cleaning session as an opportunity to do some light pruning (aka cutting off dead leaves), which also encourages new plant growth.

“There’s no conditioner that’s capable of [repairing split ends]. It’s the same thing for plants. Once a leaf turns brown or yellow and it’s wilted, it can’t bounce back.” —Maryah Greene, plant doctor and stylist

Greene compares these dead leaves to the split ends of hair. “There’s no conditioner that’s capable of [repairing split ends],” she says. “It’s the same thing for plants. Once a leaf turns brown or yellow and it’s wilted, it can’t bounce back.” These dead leaves are just a natural part of a plant’s life cycle. So, if you spot any of them on your plants, get to snipping; they’ll thank you later.

3. Check their placements

As you’re taking a moment to clean your plants, it’s also smart to consider where they’re located in your home and whether their placements are still providing them with an appropriate amount of light, depending on whether they thrive in brightness or prefer shadier areas.

“You may find that your home has more areas during spring and summer that will provide lots of light for your plants,” says Vaughan, which is why it’s a good time to assess and adjust accordingly. As we move into the sunnier seasons, she also suggests spacing out your plants, if they’re placed pretty close together, in order to encourage a bit more airflow between them. “The increased space can help move stagnant air and allow you to find any tucked-away pests more easily,” says Vaughan.

A word of caution: As you’re shifting things around, be careful not to move plants too far from their previous locations, especially if they seem happy and thriving, says Greene. (Otherwise, the big change could prove traumatic to them.) If you just want to make sure that they’re getting even sunlight exposure in their current spots, particularly as the amount of sunlight increases, she suggests rotating them 45-degrees once a month.

4. Adjust your watering schedule

Part of your spring houseplant maintenance should include a tweak to your watering frequency, too. During winter, there’s less of a need to water as frequently because plants receive less sunlight and therefore don’t dry out as quickly. But as spring arrives, you may need to dial up the watering because additional sunlight will cause water to evaporate more readily, leaving your plants thirsty more often.

Pro tip: The only way to really know if a plant needs water or how often you should water it is by checking the soil with a water meter (which will assess how wet it is) or, if it’s a smaller plant, by sticking a finger in the soil to determine how damp (or dry) it feels, says Greene. If the soil seems moist, you can hold off on watering, and if not, go ahead and give the plant a drink.

5. Repot if needed

In the spring, it’s also wise to consider whether any of your plants might be due for a repotting—which is something to do when it seems like a plant needs more space to grow (roots are growing out the bottom of the pot or forming a rootball, or the plant isn’t maturing any more), or it could use fresh soil (perhaps it’s become infested with pests). Because the process of repotting can be traumatic for a plant, Greene says now is the ideal time to do it (if any of the above scenarios rings true)—when the plant is otherwise exposed to the ample sunlight and optimal growing conditions of spring.

To do so, Vaughan recommends choosing a new pot that is one to two inches larger in diameter than the current pot. “Gently loosen the soil in the plant’s pot, tip the plant to the side, and tap or shimmy the plant out of its current pot,” she says. “Then, carefully loosen the plant’s roots, so that much of the old dirt falls away.” Next, set the plant to the side while adding fresh potting soil to the new pot—enough for the plant to sit just about one inch below the new pot’s rim, she adds. And lastly, place the plant in its new pot and finish adding soil to cover the roots completely.

There is one caveat: People with sensitive skin may experience some itchiness or irritation from wearing boob tape (especially when taking it off), but there are things you can do to prevent that from happening. Like anything else you put on your skin, it’s important to know what’s in a boob tape before you buy. From there, proper application, removal, and boob care can stop irritation in its tracks. More on all that below.

The 7 best boob tapes, at a glance:

• Best overall: Nue Boob-Job-In-A-Box ($25)
• Best for large busts: HighOh Boob Tape Kit ($43)
• Best boob tape on Amazon: Risque Body Tape ($17)
• Best budget: Hollywood Fashion Secrets Body Contour Tape ($13)
• Best boob tape kit: Good Lines Party Pack Boob Tape Kit ($60)
• Best for sensitive skin: Booby Tape ($16)
• Best shade range: B-Six Nippies Tape ($19)

What to look for in a good boob tape

Board-certified dermatologist Azadeh Shirazi, MD, recommends opting for boob tapes that are hypoallergenic, latex-free, and made with paper or cloth. “Start with a minimum strength hold and work up to a stronger hold option as needed, as they tend to be more irritating,” she says. Additionally, consider your specific needs. For example, if you have larger or heavier breasts, she recommends boob tape with a wider band. Or, if you tend to perspire a lot, look for sweat- or water-resistant boob tape.

Wardrobe stylist Tracy Shapoff adds that the key to finding a good boob tape is finding one in a shade that matches your skin tone. “Picking the right shade for you will make all the difference in your look,” she says. “It ensures a seamless, invisible finish.”

How to use boob tape

Boob tape is certainly not the only option available if you want to nix the traditional bra, as sticky bras (aka, chicken cutlets) and pasties can work in some scenarios, too. This begs the question: When should you use boob tape instead of pasties? The short answer: It depends on the final look you want to achieve.

“Pasties are used for coverage, whereas breast tape is used for lift and support,” Shapoff says. In other words, if you want to cover up the nipple and areola under sheer clothing, pasties will do the trick. Depending on the design and style, some adhesive bras can provide lift, too, however if you want optimum lift and support, opt for boob tape.

As for how to apply it, most boob tapes come with a manual with ideas and instructions on the different ways to use it. If you’re wearing a plunging neckline, Shapoff recommends applying the tape straight up towards the shoulders to give support and fullness. For a strapless look, “creating a bandeau with strips running horizontally will give you plenty of cleavage and support,” she adds. Or for a flatter look, she suggests binding your chest with the boob tape.

The 7 best boob tapes

Best overall

Nue Boob-Job-In-A-Box — $25.00

Nue’s Boob-Job-In-A-Box is hypoallergenic, latex-free, and the fabric has a stretch that moves with you while providing support. Shapoff also loves that this boob tape is waterproof and sweatproof, which means it’s a great option for hot days and for wearing under bathing suits. It comes with plenty of tape to last you awhile (16.5 feet per roll to be exact). Another win: It comes in four shades: light, medium, light-medium, and dark. And, there’s also a travel-friendly version with pre-cut strips that’s only $15.

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Best for large busts

HighOh, Boob Tape Kit — $43.00

“This tape is very soft and secure with a large, 4-inch width that’s helpful for those with larger or heavier breasts,” Dr. Shirazi says. It also gets her stamp of approval because it’s made from natural cotton medical fabric, which is hypoallergenic and less likely to irritate the skin. Bonus points: She also likes that this boob tape is recyclable and long-lasting. It’s designed to stay on for more than 12 hours.

It is a little pricier, but it comes with two rolls of boob tape (each features 16.5 feet of tape) and five pairs of nipple covers. Note that some people may have an allergic reaction to the tape, so it’s recommended to wear it for less than two hours on your first wear and slowly build up.

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Best boob tape on Amazon

Risque, Body Tape — $17.00

With nearly 10,000 5-star reviews on Amazon, The Risque Body Tape is another good boob tape option that Shapoff recommends. It’s made of cotton and is waterproof and sweatproof. “I love that this comes in a full kit with the silicone nipple covers as well,” she says. “The kit makes it super easy to grab and go without having to buy multiple different pieces.” Another pro: The tape is also multi-use. You can also add it to heels or other shoes to prevent rubbing.

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Best budget

Hollywood Fashion Secrets, Body Contour Tape — $13.00

If you need boob tape on a budget, Amazon has your back (er, boobs) covered with Hollywood Fashion Secrets’ Body Contour Tape. “I love this tape,” Shapoff says. “It comes in a range of four inclusive shades as well as a pair of no-show concealers for extra coverage.” Other pros: It’s affordable, hypoallergenic, waterproof, and made of soft and stretchy material.

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Best boob tape kit

Good Lines, Party Pack Boob Tape Kit — $60.00

Hypoallergenic? Check. Waterproof? Check. Even better: This boob tape comes with all the boob essentials you need, making it great for boob tape beginners. “Good Lines has an entire Party Pack, including pre-cut shapes, tape roll, [and] nipple covers, and you can choose your adhesive level,” Shapoff says. “This pack cuts down on a lot of time and effort, especially for someone who isn’t as well versed with how to cut and place the big rolls of tape on their own already.” In other words, with this kit, you’re all set.

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Best for sensitive skin

Booby Tape — $16.00

Dr. Shirazi recommends Booby Tape because it ticks all the must-have boxes: It’s hypoallergenic, latex-free, moisture-resistant, and is reasonably priced. The one con is that it only comes in three shades: beige, brown, and black. One reviewer writes that it “really works!” “I was skeptical but used it for a bridesmaids dress (all day event!) and everything stayed in place,” they say.

Another shopper who was trying the tape for the first time writes that they’re impressed: “Good quality and easy to remove off skin too. Does the job it’s supposed to do especially for some who is very small chested and need that extra lift!”

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Best shade range

B-Six, Nippies Tape — $19.00

Shapoff also recommends B-Six’s Nippies tape for a few reasons. It offers a (slightly) wider variety of shades compared to other boob tapes. It comes in white, black, creme, caramel, and coco, so you have more variety when camouflaging under your clothes. Shapoff also loves that it’s soft and gentle on the skin since it’s made from nylon and medical-grade adhesive that is hypoallergenic and waterproof. There’s also a subscription option you can sign up for to get the tape at a discounted price.

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Boob tape Q&A

How do I avoid skin and nipple irritation?

If the skin on your boobs and/or your nips are irritated after wearing boob tape, Dr. Shirazi says it’s usually due to the adhesive. Thankfully, there are some things you can do to prevent irritation. For starters, she advises not exfoliating or using toners on the skin before applying the tape. This can strip the skin, making irritation more likely; Applying it to clean skin is best.

To protect the nipples and areolas (which have thinner skin and are more susceptible to irritation), she suggests applying a barrier cream, ointment, or a non-stick pad before applying the boob tape. And if you have really sensitive skin, Dr. Shirazi advises limiting the amount of area you cover with the boob tape and how long and frequently you wear it. “Avoid using it daily as the more exposure, the more likely for the skin to become sensitized and reactive,” she says, adding that ideally each use should be limited to no more than 4-6 hours.

What’s the best way to remove boob tape?

How you remove the tape can also lead to irritation, which is why Dr. Shirazi emphasizes the importance of removing it gently. “Don’t rip it off like a bandage, as it can damage the skin and really hurt,” she says. “It’s best to rub a little body oil or Vaseline on the end to loosen the adhesive and gently work it off the skin. You may also use gentle cleansers and warm water in the shower.”

Help! My skin is irritated. What should I do?

If you take all the precautions and still develop irritation from wearing boob tape, Dr. Shirazi advises removing the tape ASAP, especially if there’s itching, burning, or pain. Once the tape is off, she recommends rinsing the area with water and applying a medicated cream 2-3 times a day for five days to calm the inflammation. She adds that you can also apply a barrier cream or Vaseline to protect and hydrate the skin.

Uses for healing crystals

Therapeutic uses for crystals goes way back, too. Elizabeth Trattner, a Florida-based licensed acupuncturist and integrative medicine specialist who performs crystal- and acupuncture-infused facials, says crystal healing was practiced by ancient Egyptians and during the Roman Empire. And, she adds, crystals are still used today in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

So, how does therapy with different types of crystals work? The atoms in healing crystals have unique vibrational motions that determine how the stones will behave in the presence of heat or light. In fact, everything in the universe—including the atoms that make up us mere mortals—vibrates in this manner, says Lyons. “When we work with particular vibrations, they have the capability of balancing and harmonizing our own energies within our body, and this helps to create well-being within our energetic field and physical body,” Trattner says.

In terms of scientific evidence that proves the effectiveness of healing crystals, well, there really isn’t much. “This is because current science is materialist. You need to have something physical to measure for a scientific study,” says Azalea Lee, a crystal healer based in Los Angeles and designer of the metaphysical fine jewelry line, As Above So Below. “But crystalline healing energy is metaphysical and has no physical density to measure. It is therefore incongruent with the scientific method.” But Trattner points out that there is research showing that crystals may be medically beneficial. And the belief that they work can be very powerful (just look to studies on the placebo effect).

Crystal curious? Keep reading to learn how to find the right crystals for you.

How to find the right types of crystals for you and your needs

Find an ethical source

First and foremost, Trattner advises buying from a reputable seller who stocks crystals that were mined in an environmentally friendly manner using ethical labor practices. This may require some Googling, but it’s worth the effort.

Don’t choose simply based off a crystal’s description

A common mistake when it comes to choosing stones for healing, Lee says, is selecting them based on their description. This is because, often, the information doesn’t come from authentic experience. “Though crystals do have metaphysical properties that will lend themselves to certain situations, summarizing crystals into abbreviated sound bites of their properties does more harm than help in helping people work with them,” she says. “You are a unique individual, so how you respond to a crystal’s energy may have a different specific effect than it would for someone else.” So while crystal descriptions can be helpful to get a general understanding of a crystal, that shouldn’t be the only deciding factor.

Ask for help and use your intuition

If you’re unsure where to start on your healing crystal journey, Shanise Spruill, chief wellness curator and founder of Johari & Lou Artisan Soul Stones, recommends consulting an energy practitioner who specializes in crystals to serve as a guide; they’ll typically give a personal assessment to pinpoint which types of crystals are the best fit for you. If a consultation isn’t possible, she recommends browsing crystal shops in person or online and “do a visual meditation to guide your energy to the best choice.”

Because your intuition is supreme when it comes to choosing the right types of crystals for you, Lyons recommends choosing the healing crystals you feel the most drawn towards. If you’re shopping IRL, hold the crystal in your hand and notice how you feel. If there’s an energetic connection between you and the crystal that you can’t quite explain, you’ve found the one.

Best types of crystals for healing

Energy Muse: Rose Quartz — $6.00

If you’re working on cultivating a more profound sense of self-love, rose quartz is the stone for you. “Rose quartz radiates the frequency of pure, unconditional love. It helps to balance, calm, harmonize, and heal the body, mind, and spirit and to deepen the relationship with the self, family, community, and Earth,” Lyons says. Tumbled rose quartz crystals, she adds, are easy to use during bath rituals or self-healing meditation. Or, place a piece of raw rose quartz under your bed to improve your sleep.

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Luckeeper: Clear quartz — $18.00

Clear quartz is known as the “master healer” because it helps align all of your chakras and energetically attune to all other crystals. “It is a highly potent, easily programmable magnifier of energy and intentions and can help you to access and manifest higher states of consciousness,” Lyons says. “Use clear quartz points in self-healing rituals and crystal grids, and use clusters to amplify the energy of an environment. When placing points on your body, always point the crystal point vertically up and down your body, so as not to break the energy line.”

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Energy Muse: Smoky Quartz — $15.00

Smoky quartz is known for its ability to remove negative energy. Reach for this stone when you’re stressed or your body tenses up. “Smoky quartz helps to transform dense energy while also creating a grounding and calming effect on the system,” Lyons says. “It is a stone of letting go, surrendering to the unknown, and moving forward in life.” This makes it a great companion during stressful transitions. You can also use it to facilitate a positive vibe in your home or in any shared communal setting.

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Kalifano: Black Tourmaline — $15.00

Trattner refers to black tourmaline as “the master” when it comes to removing negativity. “Tourmalines carry a charge with a positive and negative pole,” she says, adding that finely milled tourmaline emits far infrared radiation (FIR), which has healing benefits. Some crystal proponents even place black tourmaline near their electronic devices, because it is thought to reduce the effects of electromagnetic energy on the body.

Lee adds that “black tourmaline helps to recycle energies into a balanced state, and since most people experience negative energy, black tourmaline helps to neutralize it.”

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Kalifano: Malachite — $16.00

If you’re going through something big, malachite can be an excellent crystal to have on hand for energetic support. “Malachite offers protection, deep healing, and cleansing on both physical and energetic levels,” Lyons says. “This stone helps to release old traumas, wounds, and patterns stored within the cellular structure of the body, and it is a beautiful stone to work with in times of transition, heartbreak, and loss.”

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Sully Sherrie Gem: Kunzite — $6.00

Need an extra dose of love and compassion in your life? Get yourself a kunzite crystal. Lyons says kunzite helps to cleanse your aura, expand your heart, and heal old wounds from past relationships. Reach for this one if you need harmony and flow in life (and, really, don’t we all right now?). “Kunzite connects you to the feminine or matriarchal side of your lineage,” Lyons says. Trattner adds that kunzite is also great for facilitating calmness and a sense of grounding—which is kind of the exact kind of support we all need right now.

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Dancing Bear: Selenite — $17.00

If there were an ultimate starter crystal set, selenite would be included—and for a good reason. “Selenite is like liquid light,” Trattner says, adding that it’s great for clearing a room’s negative energy. She recommends placing it on your windowsill along with black tourmaline and quartz crystal points to keep your space’s energy up.

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Kalifano: Lepidolite — $20.00

Think of lepidolite as a crystal chill pill that’s said to have a calming effect on the mind and body. This stone soothes and relaxes frayed emotions, an overworked mind, and a tense physical body,” Lyons says. “It can calm the central nervous system and is a wonderful stone for when you feel anxious or overwhelmed, or if you’re coping with panic disorder, insomnia, or PMS.”

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Sole Luna Company: Prehnite — $19.00

You know how you’re supposed to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others in case of an emergency? Prehnite is the crystal embodiment of that practice. Use it to care for yourself so you have the energy and capacity to support others. Lyons says it helps to “heal the healer,” and is thus often an excellent choice for parents, caretakers, and activists.

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Hematite — $15.00

Hematite is one of the three core crystals Lee recommends everyone to have in their crystal kit and a great starter stone too if you’re just getting into working with crystals. (The other two are black tourmaline and rose quartz.) “Hematite is the ultimate grounding stone, connecting you with your physical wisdom and what it means to live in a physical world, including your relationship with money,” she says. Working diligently with hematite, or any of the core crystals she recommends “will begin the process of unraveling distortions in your energy that have been preventing you from experiencing deep happiness and fulfillment,” she says.

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Kalifano: Amethyst — $20.00

A great starter crystal, Amethyst is associated with stress relief. Spruill says it’s one of the most popular healing crystals.

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The takeaway on the different types of crystals

Remember that you can’t go wrong when it comes to choosing the “right” types of crystals to work with. “More important than choosing the ‘right’ crystal is your willingness and dedication to work with a crystal, understand its true energies, and work with it with consistence and presence,” Lee says.

In other words, while crystals for protection and healing crystals are wonderful healing companions and for relieving stress, they’re not going to magically do the work for you. This is why Lee compares healing crystals to braces for teeth. “Over time, crystals can help you straighten things out, but you have to use them consistently, maintain good energetic hygiene, and be willing to go through some pain to get to the end result” she says. “There is a lot of work on your end, but if you’re serious, the crystals will definitely help you.”

Frequently Asked Questions

After you’ve picked out a healing crystal, do you have to do anything to it before using it?

Cleansing your healing crystals before using them will help them work better, according to Spruill. “Crystals generally absorb and expel energy, so cleansing your crystals can help ensure it is ready to be used for you specific needs,” she says. She recommends cleansing them before each use, or at least once monthly.

How do you cleanse healing crystals?

There are several ways to cleanse stones for healing, according to Spruill. She suggests: laying them out overnight in the moonlight to absorb its regenerative properties; placing them in a bag overnight with carnelian, a crystal known to remove energies; running water over them; or soaking them in saltwater, depending on the stones.

Another way is to visually or verbally cleanse them. “Visualize a ray of cleansing light or speak cleansing words to rid lingering energy,” she says.

How do you use a crystal for healing?

You can different types of crystals wherever you want in your space to facilitate healing. Spruill says the most common way to use them is by focusing on specific chakras during a meditation; they can also be used as energy hubs, or even just as decorations. “Placing crystals throughout our spaces can help keep the flow of energy aligned,” she says.

What is the best way to care for healing crystals?

Your crystals are meant to be used, so no need to be precious with them. However, Spruill recommends storing them in a protective pouch when they’re not in use to prevent scratches.

What is the most popular crystal?

According to Spruill, amethyst is one of the most popular healing crystals. Known to relieve stress and strain, “it is easy to source and is commonly know to help soothe stressful environments or emotions,” she says.

What is the rarest crystal for healing?

Spruill says moldavite, which is believed to help with emotional healing because its “healing properties are associated with transcending time,” is one of the rarest crystals for healing. She said this is because it’s difficult and expensive to source in its true form.

How many healing crystals should you have at one time?

There’s no set right or wrong number for how many crystals someone should own, but Spruill says it’s important to consider how the ones you have interact. She mentions that Carnelian can serve as a cleanser for other crystals, which may deprogram your other ones. Rather than focusing on the number, she advises getting clear on each crystal’s use.

Breathwork teacher and life coach Gwen Dittmar says breathwork for children, in particular, is a simple and powerful coping mechanism to help them regulate their body, breath, and mind during emotional or stressful states. “Deep breathing helps to bring children to the present moment, while also helping them regulate their nervous system,” adds breathwork and mindset coach Ana Lilia.

It does this, she explains, by slowing down their heart rate, increasing the body’s oxygen levels, and activating their parasympathetic nervous system (aka the rest and digest state). And research backs this up: A 2021 study showed that taking slow, deep breaths significantly reduces children’s physiological arousal.

The candle breathing technique is one easy way to introduce kids to breathwork. As its name suggests, it involves visualizing blowing out birthday candles.

How to use the candle method to engage children in breathwork

This candle method works great for kids of all ages. Lilia suggests making mindfulness exercises like this one a game you play with them to teach them these tools before they need them. “I started teaching my nephew how to actively breathe when he was two years old. He loves it!” she says. “The sooner you teach children how to use their breath to calm themselves down, the easier and more automatic it will be for them to use these techniques.”

That said, Dittmar notes that breathwork is particularly helpful when kids are experiencing big emotions, upsets, tantrums, or trouble falling asleep. In these scenarios, Lilia recommends beginning the exercise by acknowledging those big feelings. “Get down to their level and connect with them,” she says. “Help them feel seen by acknowledging their emotions [by saying something like]: ‘You seem angry that your sister took your toy.’” Then invite the child to do some breathing with you and explain to them that this breathing practice can help them feel calm when they experience strong feelings.

There are a few different variations of the candle breathing technique to try. No matter the specific method, the purpose is to provide the child with a visual. “Tell your child to imagine they have a birthday cake and candle in front of them,” Dittmar says. “Then have them take a deep breath in through their nose and exhale out of their mouth to blow out the birthday candle.” Lilia adds that you can even ask them to close their eyes and make a wish as they do this. Then repeat as many times as needed until the child calms down. Lilia recommends at least five deep breaths. Afterward, she suggests embracing the child with a hug to help enforce a sense of safety.

If the child needs help grasping the concept of breathing in through the nose, Lilia recommends telling them to pretend they are smelling a flower. And if they need a more concrete visual, you can hold up five fingers and pretend they are candles and put one finger down as they blow each candle out.

Beyond the technique itself, Dittmar says one of the best ways to engage children in breathwork practices is for their caregivers also to do breathwork. “This shows our children that when we are dysregulated, tired, unmotivated, there are tools and solutions to feel better,” she says. So, when possible, do the exercise with them to lead by example.

More breathing techniques for children

The candle method is just one of many breathing techniques kids can use. Here are three more you can add to their toolkit.

Bunny breathing

“Bunny breathing is to imagine a bunny rabbit, sniffing in three times as if they are sniffing for carrots or lettuce, and then let out a big exhale through the mouth,” Dittmar says. “This type of breathwork is cleansing for children, similar to breath of fire for adults.”

Snake breathing

For bedtime, Dittmar recommends trying snake breathing with kids, which incorporates sound, activating the vagus nerve. “Tell your child to imagine a snake. Take a deep inhale through the nose, and on the exhale out of the mouth, make a hissing sound, slow and long,” Dittmar says. “A slower exhale helps our nervous system calm down.”

Butterfly hug

And lastly, incorporating tapping with deep breathing, a technique Lilia calls “butterfly hug,” can also help reduce anxiety, stress, and the feeling of overwhelm. “The butterfly hug is when you cross your arms over your chest and gently tap your shoulders, one at a time,” she explains. “While you’re tapping, you are gently breathing in through your nose and exhaling out of your nose.” She also recommends asking them how they are feeling as they practice this technique to help them process their emotions.

For example, people who grew up with a religious upbringing may believe that forgiveness is the only way not to be condemned to suffering in the afterlife, says end-of-life doula Holly Strelzik, founder and president of Center for the Heart, a non-profit organization providing grief support. This pressure can then generate unnecessary guilt and distress for those nearing the end of their life. According to experts, however, forgiveness can be a path for some people to find peace at the end of life, but it isn’t a requirement or the only way to get there. 

Why people nearing the end of their life don’t have to forgive to find peace

“While coming to forgive past hurts can relieve you of anger and bitterness, which can help with peacefulness and acceptance of dying, it is not a prerequisite,” says Gail Saltz, MD, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine and host of the How Can I Help? podcast. “There are other feeling states, such as embracing meaningfulness in terms of your life, that can also bring feelings of peacefulness and acceptance.” 

Furthermore, Strelzik says forgiveness is a personal choice and can’t be forced. The person must decide whether it’s necessary for them to move forward. “I believe it’s truly a journey for someone to get to that point where they can know themself intimately and wholly in order to clearly understand what they need and honor that,” she says. 

Plus, Angela Shook, an end-of-life doula professional certificate instructor at the University of Vermont, adds that the dying person doesn’t need the added pressure of forgiving. “They may already be facing physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual pain of their own,” she says. “They may be scared, fearful of what comes next, and dealing with all of that on an already depleted energy bank.”

Instead, Shook recommends holding space for the dying to process however way feels right for them. “They have the right, ability, and safe place to feel their emotions, whatever they may be,” she says. “I try to meet them where they are and offer a nonjudgmental space to review their life and experiences as they choose. We can bear witness to unresolved conflicts and resentments without pushing forgiveness. We can allow them to just be.” And this advice applies to those who are not nearing the end of their life but simply want to find peace and move beyond past hurts. 

How to find inner peace without forgiveness

So what does the path toward peace without forgiveness look like? Strelzik says everyone’s journey is different, whether the person is nearing the end of their life or not. She uses her own experience as an example and says, for her, that the process looked like feeling all the emotions associated with past abuse, such as sadness, fear, and anger. “As it worked through me, those feelings, memories, [and] triggers, lost their power, and once they lost their power, I was at peace,” she recalls. “The liberation of being able to come to that place on my own was transformational.” 

Strelzik’s advice? Practice compassion, especially toward yourself. “We have to be deeply compassionate for all of our feelings at any given time—whether they are fear, sadness or anger, happiness, joy, bliss, and all in between,” she says. “Once that happens, then we can delve in and work through our grief because a lot of forgiveness ties directly into grief.” 

Remember that forgiveness must be genuinely felt and embodied. “If you’re not ready or simply don’t want to do that, you can always choose to no longer let the situation, the wrong, haunt you anymore, so that you can move forward with your life as peacefully as possible,” Strelzik says.

If forgiveness isn’t possible, Dr. Saltz also recommends finding meaning in other areas of life that can help you feel fulfilled. “It is much easier to move on with not forgiving if you are not consumed by anger and bitterness and the old hurt,” she says. 

So whether you choose to forgive or not, Dr. Saltz emphasizes that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, condoning the wrong, or reconciliation. “It means you accept [that] this person harmed you, and you choose to move on from it by accepting it and no longer staying in the anger,” she says. Either way, forgiveness is your choice, and finding peace is possible with or without. 

Another reason it can be hard to take slow, deep breaths? Stress. “When we are stressed or anxious, we upregulate the nervous system, which triggers us to breathe shallow and short into the chest,” Artymiak says. And given that life is chock-full of stressors, it can be challenging to break a shallow breathing habit. There is good news for shallow breathers, though. You can still reap the benefits of deep breathing with the help of an easy mindset shift: focus on “soft” breathing techniques instead. 

What it means to breathe ‘softly’

Soft breathing, Artymiak explains, means shifting your focus from trying to achieve the perfect fullness and cadence (as people often do when told to take slow, deep breaths) to focusing on how breathing feels in your body without trying to force or control it anyway.  

“As the breath softens, the body softens, and the two work in tandem to down-regulate our nervous system so that we feel more calm and peaceful,” he says. Breathing softly also allows you to notice and release any tension in your body, he adds, and once your mind and body are relaxed, that, in turn, leads to a slower, deeper breath. 

Here’s why this easy mindset shift works: “When we quantify the breath with volume and tempo, we may add a layer of stress because there is a desire to ‘hit the mark,’ and we can feel discouraged when we come up short,” Artymiak says. “I’ve had students tell me that they get anxious when I instruct a four to five count breath, and they feel like they’re struggling or holding their breath.” In other words, focusing on soft breathing takes the pressure off from trying to get it “right.”

Artymiak compares it to swimming for distance and speed. “If you are stressed, you may be wasting your energy with bad form,” he explains. “When you slow down and feel your body moving through the water, you’ll instinctively make changes to swim smoothly, which will ultimately cover more distance in a shorter amount of time.” 

How to practice ‘soft’ breathing

To practice soft breathing, Artymiak recommends getting in a comfortable seated position or lying down on your back and closing your eyes. “Imagine relaxation, like water, flowing down from the top of your head and scalp, softening your eyes, your jaw, your shoulders, and belly,” he says. You can also place your hands on your stomach and envision softly inflating a balloon as you breathe in. 

The key, Artymiak says, is to focus on breathing gently, meaning don’t try and force yourself to get the perfect slow tempo or fullness. Just observe the flow of your breath, feel the air as it flows into your nose and through your belly and chest, and notice how soft, yet full, your breath becomes as you practice. 

It’s also important to release any tension in your body as you do this. “A tense body will make it difficult to breathe softly,” Artymiak says. “So by becoming aware and relaxing tension from your body, you make it possible to soften the breath.”  

Artymiak also notes that when you’re breathing softly, you may notice moments when you feel so relaxed your breath pauses. “It may be for a second or for a few, but the experience will be different than when you are ‘holding your breath,'” he says. “It will feel effortless and peaceful.” 

Once you’ve practiced breathing softly and feel like you have the technique down pat, Artymiak recommends taking it a step further and timing how long it takes you to take three breaths as softly as you can. With practice, he says, you may be surprised with how long and deep your breath naturally becomes simply by focusing on softness.

The best part? You can use this soft breathing technique anytime, anywhere. Artymiak recommends practicing it whenever you feel anxious, reactive, or agitated and want to calm and center yourself. Particularly, he says practicing soft breathing when you’re winding down for the day or feeling restless in bed is a great time.  

That said, having narcissistic tendencies alone doesn’t automatically mean you’re a terrible person. What’s more, there is also such a thing as healthy narcissism. Read on for the explanation and a new way to view narcissism. 

The difference between narcissism and narcissistic tendencies

“We all have some degree of narcissism; it is a continuum,” says clinical psychologist Nancy B. Irwin, PsyD. “Diagnoses are used when there is an overwhelming tendency in that direction.” 

In other words, a person diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) meets five or more key criteria, including being entitled and having an inflated sense of self, says Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, an NYC-based neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. They’re also consumed with fantasies of success, power, beauty, and attractiveness. They believe they are unique and superior to others and should only be associated with other high-status people and institutions.

People with NPD require excessive admiration while feeling envious of others and assuming others envy them. Narcissists also lack empathy, take advantage of other people for personal gain, and demean, verbally abuse, and manipulate others—hence why narcissists make up one third of the dark triad personality traits. 

That said, Dr. Hafeez notes that someone who isn’t diagnosed with NPD can exhibit one or two of these criteria, which is referred to as having narcissistic tendencies. “Narcissistic tendencies can occur due to previous traumas and insecurities that present themselves at times,” she explains. Dr. Irwin adds that narcissistic tendencies can also come from a lack of appropriate parenting skills and picking up on social cues. 

For instance, Dr. Hafeez says someone could obsess over, and look for compliments about, their body, but that may stem from childhood insecurities and not narcissism. Other examples: “Someone who brags about their accomplishments may be trying to hide insecurity from their adolescence,” she says. Or, “a person who posts too many pictures of themselves on Instagram may be seeking attention in the virtual world that they are lacking in real life.”

Why having narcissistic tendencies doesn’t mean you’re a bad person

With that in mind, Dr. Hafeez says having a narcissistic tendency or two doesn’t make someone a narcissist, nor does it automatically mean they’re a “bad” person. She says narcissistic tendencies often get roped into being morally bad because many people don’t understand the clinical meaning behind NPD. It’s kind of like how many people don’t know the true definition of having OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) is more than a “neat freak” stereotype.

The key difference between true narcissists and people who have narcissistic tendencies? “Unlike those diagnosed with NPD, those with narcissistic tendencies often feel empathy for others and treat the people in their lives with kindness,” Dr. Hafeez says. “They don’t use or exploit others maliciously.” So, posting one too many selfies on social media doesn’t make you a bad person if you’re just doing it because you’re feeling yourself. 

Furthermore, Dr. Hafeez says being self-absorbed in some areas of life doesn’t mean you’re narcissistic in all areas and having a healthy dose of narcissism is necessary to achieve goals in all areas of life, such as fitness or career. “Knowing that you deserve good things or being proud of your accomplishments is healthy and not disordered,” she says. “Those who demonstrate healthy narcissism show self-awareness, insight, and empathy that a person with NPD does not have.” And she adds that it’s common and developmentally appropriate for adolescents to show narcissistic tendencies. 

It’s only when that behavior begins to harm others to reach those achievements that it can point to NPD. “Narcissists are typically considered to lack empathy and be so self-centered that they don’t care who they hurt as long as they benefit,” Dr. Hafeez says.

So, the takeaway: Being all about yourself is not necessarily bad, so long as no one else gets hurt in the process. 

Psychologist and astrologer Jennifer Freed, PhD, explains that your birth chart can help identify patterns and challenges you are meant to navigate in this lifetime, or as she puts it, your “cosmic lesson plan.” To blend the two practices of astrology and therapy, Dr. Freed recommends working with someone with a therapy license and astrological knowledge. But as a starting point, below she shares four ways astrology and therapy can work together. 

1. Identifying short-term and long-term challenges

Dr. Freed says one of the many cool things about astrology is that it can help pinpoint the chronic, long-standing challenges that you’ve dealt with since birth (for instance, maybe you’ve always had a hard time expressing your feelings), as well as acute issues that come up for a period of time and relate to a particular transit or cycle you’re going through, such as your Saturn return, for example. So looking at your natal chart as a whole—plus what’s happening currently in the cosmos at any given moment—can help pinpoint what issues would be helpful to work through in therapy. 

2. Reflecting on your inner and outer realities

Unpacking your sun, moon, and rising signs (aka your big three) is another great way to mix astrology and therapy, as they reveal important aspects of who you are. As a refresher, your sun sign represents your identity. Your rising sign, Dr. Freed says, is your persona, kind of the role you are given in your family, while your moon sign is your non-negotiable emotional needs.

So as a starting point in therapy, Dr. Freed recommends discussing these different parts to understand yourself better. Who do you think you are? (sun sign) What do you need to feel emotionally satisfied? (moon sign) What face do you show the world? (rising sign) Your moon sign, in particular, she says, is very important as it represents your inner world and can reveal a lot about what you need to work through in therapy. 

If you’re a Pisces moon, for instance, “it means that you need to be able to say how sensitively you feel about things, how hurt you are, and also to learn to take a step back and not personalize everything,” Dr. Freed says. So in therapy, a Pisces moon would benefit from working on discerning what they’re feeling. 

3. Decoding the subconscious

If you don’t already keep a dream journal, start one ASAP. “Dream work is very powerful for all signs,” Dr. Freed says. “It requires some discipline because you have to write down or record your dreams, but dream work can be an extraordinary opportunity to marry astrology with psychology.” 

If you pay close attention, Dr. Freed adds, themes of whatever astrology cycle you’re going through will pop up in your dreams that can help decode what’s going on in the unconscious mind. To help with this, she suggests noting the general theme of your dreams and looking to what planet rules that theme. Mercury, for example, rules communication, and Pluto rules death and rebirth. Then reflect on what that planetary energy wants you to become aware of in your conscious state. 

4. Choosing what type of therapy tools work best for you

There is no shortage of therapy types available. There’s reparenting therapy, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), and hypnotherapy, to name a few. However, not all styles will work for everyone, and astrology can help find a type of therapy that would work best for you. To do so, Dr. Freed recommends noting the elements of your sun, moon, and rising signs. 

For instance, if you’re heavily an air person (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius), Dr. Freed suggests grounded, slow-moving therapies that will help bring you more into your body, such as CBT which focuses on how to be more mindful and aware.

Folks with a lot of earth energy in their natal chart (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) will benefit from cathartic and expressive therapy “so you can get out of the mud,” Dr. Freed says. Think rebirthing therapy or breathwork, which can help move stuck energy. 

If you’re a fiery person (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius), on the other hand, “work with therapies that help you be more contemplative, mindful, and reflective, and actually slow your roll [and] not be so tempestuous, impulsive, and easy to anger,” Dr. Freed says. “You want to work with therapies that help you actually organize and mature and be more intentional.” Examples include self-object therapy and attachment therapy. 

Lastly, Dr. Freed says water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) need therapy that helps them assert themselves, establish strong boundaries, and help manage their flood of emotions. For this, she suggests highly structured therapies, such as brief or goal-oriented therapy, where you choose a goal and the therapist helps keep you accountable.

Whether you choose to use all of Dr. Freed’s advice, or focus on just one tool at a time, figuring out a way to combine astrology and therapy can help you deepen your understanding of both practices and how to apply them to your personal growth journey.

And don’t worry; it doesn’t mean you’re unlucky if you don’t have them. It just means those who do have an extra boost of good luck in their corner. Pull up your natal chart via your favorite astro site or app and learn about the placements below. 

Having any of these lucky astrological placements in your chart bodes well

Jupiter conjuncts the sun or moon

Astrological luck can’t be discussed without acknowledging Jupiter. “If we were to have a spokesperson for luck in the chart, it would be the planet Jupiter, who is connected with fortune, expansion, prosperity, and bounty,” says astrologer and tarot reader Clarisse Monahan. Notably, she says if Jupiter conjuncts (meaning meets up in the same astrological sign) with your sun or moon, it is believed to bring prosperity and indicates that you are destined for great things. 

Jupiter sextile the sun

Another Jupiter placement that’s particularly lucky and supportive is when the planet sextiles the sun (meaning they’re positioned 60 degrees apart). “When these two powerhouse planets have contact, a person is often friendly and has a generous attitude,” says astrologer and transformation coach Lumi Pelinku. “This alone provides an abundant flow and luck in their lives.”

Jupiter conjunct North Node

The North Node in our birth chart points us toward fulfillment, Pelinku says. Though it can be uncomfortable to pursue, she adds that once we start living the path of our North Node, that can lead to fortunate opportunities. And when you add Jupiter into the mix, it gets even better. “With Jupiter conjoined with the North Node, this adds a layer of charisma and a boost of luck when they decide to take a chance and try new things,” she says. “This planet sends assistance in divine signs/synchronicities, as well as chance encounters that provide support in ventures. Jupiter adds this power of confidence and blessings to someone as they walk their own unique path.”

Sagittarius rising

If you’re a Sagittarius rising, consider yourself lucky, too. Given that Jupiter rules Sagittarius, Monahan says this chart placement indicates that Jupiter is your chart ruler. “Being Jupiter ruled means you tend to view life with a very positive lens,” she says. “The glass is always half full for these people.”

Venus in the 1st house of self

While Jupiter is known as the Benefic planet, Venus is the second-luckiest planet. “Venus represents a powerfully attractive force in our cosmos,” Monahan says. “People and things are drawn to its energy. It doesn’t have to work hard to receive perks and benefits.” 

So, Monahan notes that when you have Venus in your chart—particularly on one of the four main angles: the Ascendant (1st house), the Midheaven (10th house), the Descendant (7th house), or the IC (4th house)—that brings good fortune and happiness. The luckiest Venus placement is in the first house, indicating a sunny and charismatic disposition. “These people are natural socializers,” Monahan says. “They want to connect with people everywhere they go, and people want to connect to them.”

Venus in the 10th house of career

“As people are naturally drawn to Venus energy, this placement means that opportunities for you are aplenty, especially when it relates to your career, awards, and achievements,” Monahan says. “You can be very lucky with getting your foot in the door, finding yourself in places at just the right time, or finding yourself moving up the ladder quickly.”

Venus in the 7th house of relationships

“This is an extremely auspicious aspect for love,” Monahan says. Having Venus in the 7th house of relationships indicates partnerships (whether intimate, friendship or business) in your life come easily for you are a great source of happiness.

Venus in the 4th house of home and family

Venus in the fourth house, which deals with home and family, shows you may have had a happy and positive upbringing. “Venus as an energy stands for love, connection, and harmony,” Monahan says. And she adds that a well-balanced, Venus-influenced upbringing tends to manifest in adulthood as healthy boundaries and healthy relationships. 

Venus in Libra or Taurus

All that said, Monahan notes there is a caveat regarding Venus’ luck. It also depends on which sign it is in within your chart. For instance, Venus creates more harmony, luck, and love when it is in Libra or Taurus, which the planet rules.

Venus next to Jupiter

Furthermore, Venus’ good fortune also depends on what other planets it aspects in your birth chart. For example, if Venus is next to Jupiter, “lucky you—this is doubling down on your luck,” Monahan says. On the other hand, she says, if Venus is next to Saturn, the planet of restriction and lack, it may mean that things are a bit more difficult for you in the love department.

Part of Fortune conjunct the sun

Part of Fortune is an Arabic point where the sun, moon, and rising sign intersect, signaling how we can find fortune in our life, Pelinku says. (Punch in your birth details here to find your Part of Fortune). If your Part of Fortune conjuncts the sun, she adds that luck will be on your side when you choose to live authentically. 

Part of Fortune aligned with Benefic planets

When your Part of Fortune aligns with the benefic planets Venus and Jupiter, that also brings luck into your life. “When it is conjunct to Venus, you may be lucky in love and financially,” Pelinku says. And, “Jupiter and Fortune together can add the energetic support wherever it is located in houses of the birth chart.”

Part of Fortune conjunct North Node

Also, look to see if your Part of Fortune is conjunct with your North Node. “When the North Node is conjunct Part of Fortune, this individual is multifaceted and holds a lot of gifts and ability to ease into different life experiences,” Pelinku says. “Whatever life throws in their direction, they can maneuver it to some form of productivity that leads to endless opportunity.”

How many of these rituals for abundance and luck have you tried?

1. Get a lucky plant

According to Imani Quinn, a quantum mystic, astrologer, and co-author of Astrology SOS: An Astrological Survival Guide to Life, connecting with the energy of the elements is one way to enhance abundance vibes. For instance, you can tap into the element of earth by working with plants. Particularly, Quinn recommends getting a Chinese money tree or bamboo plant (or another lucky plant of your choosing), known for their assistance in bringing abundance. 

The abundance ritual comes into play with how you interact and care for the plant throughout the year. “As you water this plant in the coming year, tend to it with your intentions of abundance in mind, thinking about the areas of your life that you’d like to see abundance financially, energetically, within your dreams, and in your community,” Quinn says. “Pay attention to how the plant blesses you with abundance, and if its leaves wither, see how you can feed it in order for it to feed you.”

Also, bonus points if you arrange your plants according to Feng Shui to help attract love, wealth, and good vibes. 

2. Declutter and clean your space

To harness the element of air, decluttering is in order. “Clearing out the old as a way to make space for the new is a very important ritual and action to take in creating abundance,” Quinn says. So take some time to get rid of anything you don’t need and give everything a good dusting. It’s also a great idea to sprinkle some Feng Shui into your workspace by facing your desk toward the door, keeping your window open, and infusing your space with pleasant scents to welcome more wealth and success. And if you’re feeling witchy, consider casting a spell to freshen up your home’s energy. 

3. Practice candle magic

For this ritual, you’ll need an abundance or prosperity candle, which you can snag at most spiritual stores. Before lighting it, Quinn instructs writing a list of what abundance you want to call in this year, whether financial or manifestations relating to work, love, passions, or anything else. 

“The element of fire is potent because it lights whatever we put intention toward,” she says. “Every time you light the candle, you will recite your intentions out loud to give them power through throat chakra activation.” 

Pro tip: Quinn adds that instead of blowing out the candle at the end of the day, snuff it with a candle snuffer to avoid “blowing” your wishes away. And to enhance your candle magic, she suggests placing some money underneath the candle as an offering and having some crystals for wealth and abundance nearby.  

4. Do a bath ritual

Next up is harnessing the energy of the element of water with a luxe bath ritual. “Bath rituals have been done for centuries within many traditions cross-culturally as a way of cleansing and [bringing] in healing and manifestations,” Quinn says. She suggests putting Epsom salts, a tablespoon of milk, bergamot essential oil, roses, and rosemary leaves into a small burlap bag so they stay contained but still soak into the bath water. You can also add honey to your bath, which she notes is often used in Latin and African practices as an ode to goddesses of abundance and prosperity.

“During the bath, make sure to call on your ancestral and spiritual team for guidance and assistance in the process, and meditate on the abundances that you want to bring into fruition,” Quinn says. And once you’re done bathing, “wind down and rest to give time for the healing energy of the ritual to alchemize and permeate through your energy auric field.”

And to make your bath extra potent, turn it into a new or full moon bath. 

5. Sprinkle cinnamon near your front door

 “Cinnamon has been deemed by ancient Egyptians, Romans, occultists, spiritualists, and Ayurvedic practitioners as a healing agent with high vibrational qualities that attract prosperity and abundance to those who use this powerful spice,” Meghan Rose, a spiritual advisor, and tarot reader, previously told Well + Good. This is why some people like to sprinkle cinnamon at their front door to attract good fortune into their homes energetically. 

To do this abundance ritual, place a tablespoon of ground cinnamon onto the palm of your non-dominant hand, set an intention out loud (such as “I blow this cinnamon to welcome abundance into my life.”), and then stand outside your front door facing inside and blow three times to spread the cinnamon.

6. Say “Rabbit, Rabbit” on the first of each month

While the origins of this abundance and luck ritual are unknown, there’s no harm, so why not add it to the mix? Think of it as your verbal lucky charm. The instructions are super simple: Say “rabbit, rabbit” on the first day of each month for good luck. 

7. Hang a horseshoe in your doorway

Horseshoes are believed to be a good luck symbol. Some people hang one in their doorway to welcome good fortune into their homes. Be sure it’s visible to anyone who enters your home to let them know bad vibes aren’t welcome. 

8. Recite abundance affirmations

“In order to maintain [the] energy of harmony, blessings, and peace, we can create affirmations that will influence the way we think, and on a deeper level, our subconscious, which feeds our actions,” Quinn says. This is also known as cultivating an abundance mentality. Quinn suggests reciting an abundance affirmation once a day such as: “I am an abundant being filled with overflowing blessings all around me. I am a vessel for luck, and goodness surrounds me always.”

9. Practice gratitude

To further flex your abundance muscle, Quinn recommends writing a gratitude journal entry listing every experience, person, place, or thing you were grateful for in 2022. “Gratitude is a frequency that encourages more blessings and abundance to flow to you when you are in its mindfulness state,” she says. Don’t know where to start? A gratitude journal can provide some structure and guidance. 

Why do you feel a lump in your throat when you’re stressed or feel like crying

Exactly why we get a lump in our throats is unclear, according to holistic, plant-based physician Melissa Mondala, MD. Scientific research is still evolving as the causes are complex, and more research is needed, but Dr. Mondala says that abnormalities of the upper esophageal sphincter (aka the muscles located at the top of the esophagus), mood disorders, and reflux have all been implicated thus far.  

What we do know, Dr. Mondala explains, is that the human anatomy shows our throats are lined with nerves, muscles, and arteries, which can be hyperstimulated when we experience strong emotions like stress or sadness. Specifically, the sensation manifests when we try to swallow, which involves closing the vocal cords (aka glottis). However, stress and the need to cry cause the vocal cords to remain open, so the lump-in-throat feeling is created as the throat’s muscles try to close while the vocal cords remain open. 

In other words, although it may feel like there’s something stuck in your throat, there isn’t. The medical term for this is globus, and the sensation can be persistent or intermittent but is typically not painful. 

That’s the medical perspective. From a spiritual and energetic point of view, Codi Jane Baker, a reiki master, sound healer, breathwork facilitator, and certified yoga teacher, says the lump-in-your-throat feeling can be a sign of unprocessed or suppressed emotions wanting to be expressed. This is related to the throat chakra, which deals with processing and expressing emotions, which is located—you guessed it—in your neck. 

“When stagnant energy goes unprocessed, it can become dense and then be experienced as physical sensations in the body like a lump in the throat,” Baker explains. This sensation, she adds, is essentially your body’s way of telling you something needs to be felt, processed, released energetically, or expressed verbally. 

So if you feel a lump in your throat when you’re stressed or about to cry, know it’s a normal reaction. Dr. Mondala says the sensation can last anywhere from a few seconds to a few days. If it persists long after the stressful event (as in more than three to six months), however, Dr. Mondala says it can be concerning, especially if the lump sensation is accompanied by pain when swallowing foods or liquids. In this case, book an appointment with a doctor for a physical exam. An appointment with a specialist may also be needed to ensure there are no structural abnormalities or allergic reactions.  

How to get rid of the lump-in-throat sensation

There are a few things you can do to get rid of the feeling. First, Dr. Mondala says keeping your throat hydrated by drinking room-temperature water can help minimize the sensation. Also, she advises avoiding acidic foods and drinks (e.g., spicy foods, caffeine, chocolate, carbonated beverages) that can cause reflux as it is thought to be a cause of globus. 

Most importantly, though, focus on doing things that will help reduce stress, such as deep breathing. “Take time to take slow, deep breaths to activate the vagus nerve,” Dr. Mondala says. “The vagus nerve is important for the parasympathetic nervous system, which allows the body to be calm and relaxed, and to minimize the feeling of doom.” To help clear the stuck energy, Baker also suggests focusing on where you feel the trapped emotion and energy (in this case, the throat) as you practice deep breathing and visualize that energy leaving your body as you exhale. 

Dr. Mondala adds that other things that can help regulate the nervous system include listening to soothing sounds, guided meditation, outdoor walks, and practicing gratitude. Receiving a reiki session where a practitioner channels chi (aka life force energy) to help clear the blocked or stagnant energy can also help. “Sometimes what you may need or what would be the most supportive is a container where you feel safe to release, and a reiki session can do just that,” Baker says. 

Writing down your thoughts and feelings is another emotion-releasing ritual worth trying. “Journaling is another effective way to process emotions, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that help reduce the sense of sadness and even anxiety, depression, or grief,” Dr. Mondala says. 

And lastly, if you feel the urge to cry, by all means, let it out. “If you are feeling emotions bubbling to the surface, you can lean into your body’s natural process of releasing stuck emotion and energy by lovingly allowing your tears to clear the energy for you,” Baker says. This is a healthy thing to do, Dr. Mondala says, adding that it can also be beneficial to work with a mental health professional who can guide you through releasing the emotions of sadness to prevent or remedy any negative physical manifestations. 

In the moment, we may not realize regret is looming, but when the end of our life rolls around, that notion tends to become very clear upon reflecting on all the things we didn’t make time for when we had a chance. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Regret is optional, which is why Jordan Grumet, MD, a hospice doctor and author of Taking Stock: Hospice Doctor’s Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life, recommends conducting regular “life reviews,” which are a common practice for dying patients in hospices. 

Why doing a life review early (and often) is beneficial

Once a dying patient’s medical needs are taken care of, hospice workers help them conduct a life review, which is a structured series of questions that asks about the person’s past and present, as well as the things that are most meaningful to them. “The whole point is for people to go back and really start thinking about what had purpose and meaning in their life and come to terms with the fact that they’re dying soon,” Dr. Grumet says.

So why do a life review now, even if you’re not nearing the end of life? The short answer: time. “One thing we often see in the dying is that only when they realize that the end of life is near do they give themselves permission to really start thinking about those things they really want in life,” Dr. Grumet says. The problem, he adds, is that by waiting until their deathbed to do this life review, hospice patients often find it challenging to do some of the things they’ve always wanted to do in their last days because they may not be physically well enough to do those things. 

The biggest benefit of doing a life review now is that it allows us to really think about what is meaningful and important to us and do those things while we’re alive and well. “If we start doing this as a young person, maybe once a year, maybe once every six months, we can start working on these things now so that we don’t have regrets,” Dr. Grumet says. “Life is finite, and we don’t know when our last month will be here.” 

How to do a life review to live without regrets (or at least fewer ones)

To give a life review a try, first, set the scene. Carve out some quiet time to really dive in, turn off all distractions, and get comfy. Next, Dr. Grumet instructs envisioning your doctor informing you that you only have one year to live. (Side note: This may be a bit anxiety-inducing, but it’s part of the process. Take a few deep breaths and let it pass.) Then begin reflecting on the life review questions and answering them with as much specificity as possible.

Dr. Grumet notes you can find many of these big-picture, end-of-life questions by Googling “hospice life review,” but as a starting point he shares a few questions here. 

• What do you most want to do, experience, or achieve before leaving Earth? Include life-long goals and dreams you had as a child. 
• What are your biggest regrets?
• What were your biggest successes?
• What needs have you yet to fulfill? 
• Who are the most important people in your life? What relationships need repair? 
• What moment in life if you could go back and redo, would you go back and why?

Dr. Grumet says you’ll likely need to return to your life review and repeat it a few times. “Usually, when people first sit down to do this, they’re not very good at it because we’re not used to sitting down and thinking about these things,” he says. “It may take you a few hours, days, or weeks to get through.” 

Another tip he shares is to focus your answers around the big life themes like purpose, identity, connections, and legacy—you know, the stuff that really matters. Once you’re clear on what those important and purposeful things are for you, he says you can start building a life that supports them. Given that our careers and finances are two significant parts of our lives, he says those are good places to start. For instance, if your job isn’t fulfilling your sense of purpose, begin shifting to a job that does align with your values. 

This implementation process is, of course, not an overnight thing. The important thing is that a life review brings the things that are most important to us (not what society, our parents, peers, etc., deem necessary) to the forefront so we can start pursuing them sooner, rather than later. 

Stillness is the quintessential vibe of meditation, as least the kind of meditation most of us have encountered in the U.S. But meditation doesn’t necessarily have to be a completely static practice—as proven by shaking meditation.

A shaking meditation is exactly as its name suggests—an active meditation practice that involves physically shaking your entire body. Although it may feel (and look) a bit strange compared to meditation practices with which American wellness seekers are more familiar, the potential benefits of shaking meditations make it worthy of adding to your mindfulness tool kit. 

What is a shaking meditation?

Shaking meditation is another name for trauma release exercise (TRE), says Jenelle Kim, DACM, L.Ac, author of Myung Sung: The Korean Art of Living Meditation. TRE is a series of exercises created by trauma and stress intervention expert David Berceli, PhD, which aim to help with “releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension, and trauma.” These exercises typically include particular stretches and movements that mimic or induce shaking. 

However, Dr. Kim notes that incorporating shaking into meditation has been done for centuries across different cultures and is not exclusive to TRE. For example, it’s a part of Qigong, a moving meditation from China similar to Tai Chi, she says. Leslie Saglio, a trauma-informed master coach, adds that shaking as a healing practice has a history in many African, Australian, Polynesian, and Asian cultures. 

So why shaking? “Shaking is a primal impulse to a stressful situation,” Saglio says, which is why animals often do it after a life-threatening encounter (like being chased by a predator). Experts think that this helps animals like dogs release the energy of the stressful or traumatic event so they can move on. 

Humans also often shake when they’re very stressed or emotional—like hands trembling when you’re nervous, or shaking with anger during an argument. But Saglio says we humans have learned to repress our emotions, making it harder for us to recalibrate after stressful events. “From a young age, we’re told to stop crying, stop our tantrums, and shut up,” she says. “We’re the only species that walks around bottling it all up.” A shaking meditation, to that end, may help us shake out all those bottled-up feelings. 

The potential benefits of shaking meditation

Dr. Kim says one of the primary benefits of this meditation style is that it helps us feel more calm and relaxed by releasing physical tension from our muscles and soothing our nervous system. 

The act of shaking, she adds, often brings up old, stored emotions, which provides an opportunity to process them and release the energy from our bodies. “Our daily lives are filled with lots of stress, noise, and other sensory inputs which keep our nervous systems active and on alert for danger,” Dr. Kim says. “Shaking meditation can activate our parasympathetic nervous system and signal our bodies to fully relax.” 

In addition to helping us feel calmer, shaking meditations also help relieve short-term and long-term stress. “Teaching our bodies to overcome and turn [on] the shaking sensation teaches our minds a new way to calm our nervous system and makes it easier for us to stay resilient against future mental or physical stressors,” Dr. Kim explains. 

All that said, it’s worth noting that research on the benefits of TRE and other types of shaking meditations is limited, but show promise. For example, a case study on a soldier with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) found that trauma releasing exercises helped improve physical and emotional well-being and reduced stress. A small 2021 pilot study in Korea of 25 grad students also found that TRE helped reduce anxiety. More research needs to be done to more clearly understand how and why it works—and what we do know is largely anecdotal—but if it helps you, it certainly can’t hurt. 

How to do a shaking meditation

TRE specifically is recommended for people with PTSD as a supplemental way to relieve tension, trauma, and stored emotions in the body, Dr. Kim says. As such, she recommends people interested in TRE itself who have PTSD watch videos online and work with a certified practitioner (in addition to seeking other support and treatment).

That said, Dr. Kim notes that other forms of shaking meditations you can do on your own also offer similar benefits of helping release tension, reduce stress, regulate the nervous system, and improve overall well-being and emotional state.

To do so, Dr. Kim instructs standing with your feet apart, and knees slightly bent in a comfortable position. Then, start shaking your body gently, starting with your legs and spreading your movement to the arms, chest, and back. 

“Allow the feelings of shaking to become a tremor that takes over and feel the vibrations internally,” Dr. Kim says. Saglio adds that there is no wrong way to shake, so don’t overthink it. And if you need some motivation, she suggests playing music in the background (cue Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” or Florence and the Machine’s “Shake It Out.”). 

As for how long to shake, Saglio recommends five to 15 minutes a few times a week to reap the benefits. Like any other type of meditation, you can do it anytime, but Saglio says it’s particularly helpful if you’re feeling stressed and find it challenging to switch off while sitting still. Or, it can also be a great precursor to a stillness meditation. 

Once you’ve got all the shakes out, Dr. Kim recommends bringing the meditation to a close with some light stretching and deep breathing. 

Licensed psychotherapist Divya Robin, LMHC, explains that a defensive parent or caretaker responds to a child’s needs or emotions with defensiveness, whether the child in question is young or an adult. “This defensiveness is often a response to feeling threatened or uncomfortable with the emotions that arise for a parent when their child is expressing how the parent’s behavior impacted that child’s well-being,” she says.

This defensive behavior, she adds, sends implicit messages to the child, for example, that it’s not safe for them to have physical, emotional, or mental needs or that they must do everything on their own, which can negatively affect them psychologically even in adulthood. 

Below, Robin shares five signs you grew up with a defensive parent and tips on how to deal with them during the holidays. 

5 telltale signs you grew up with a defensive parent

1. They shift the blame to you

Robin notes that a defensive parent will often play the victim whenever you bring up memories with them, especially ones that brought you pain. Or, they may deny the experience altogether. She adds that this behavior sends the message that love is conditional, meaning your parent will love and support you only if you avoid bringing up anything negative they have done toward you. 

2. They justify their behaviors

If they don’t shift the blame onto you or deny the experience, Robin says a defensive parent may also “justify” their behaviors by bringing up past experiences and explaining why they treated you the way they did rather than validating your feelings. For example, they may say something like, “Well, I did that because you were a problem child.” 

3. They interrupt you when you share your feelings

Because defensive parents feel threatened or uncomfortable when their child expresses their emotions, Robin says they are quick to interrupt them when they share how they feel. Your parent may also exhibit cognitive distortions like making catastrophizing assumptions about your emotional experience. For instance, they may say, “Oh, I bet you were so miserable living here then and hated me, right?” As a result, you subconsciously learn that expressing your feelings in relationships is not safe because it will lead to conflict, which can impact how you communicate in adult relationships. 

4. They feel they know “best”

In addition to interrupting you when you share your feelings, Robin says a defensive parent may speak on your behalf because they claim to “know best.” “This may be a conscious or unconscious defense mechanism to control you into not forming your own opinions because they may be opinions they don’t like,” she says. Again, this teaches you that there isn’t space for your voice or that your voice doesn’t matter. 

5. You walk on eggshells around them

A parent’s defensive behavior may also make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them, Robin says, meaning you’re extra careful about what you say and do around them to prevent them from “blowing up” and becoming defensive toward you. 

How to deal with defensive parents during the holiday season

When dealing with a defensive parent, Robin strongly emphasizes the importance of understanding that defensiveness is a behavior, not a character trait that is an inherent aspect of their personality. And because it is a behavior, that means one can change it if one chooses. Here’s why it’s essential to understand this distinction: “When we keep the focus on behavior versus the person, then it creates a greater understanding of the root of one’s actions,” she explains. “Though someone’s behaviors can hurt us, we can not define a person’s entire being on the behaviors they do.” 

This brings us to Robin’s next tip: Reflect on how willing you think your defensive parent is to change their behavior. Some may be open to it, but others may not. “This can be a hard realization for many that their caretaker’s behavior of defensiveness is deeply rooted, and though it is possible to change, they may not be willing to,” she says. From there, you can choose whether or not you want to communicate your feelings about how their defensive behavior affects you, knowing that there is a chance that they may respond in a defensive way. 

Whether you voice those feelings or not, Robin says the key is to set boundaries with your defensive parent. “This may be boundaries around how much time you spend with them, the conversations you have with them, and how involved you allow them to be in your life.” Reflecting on how their defensive behaviors and tendencies negatively impact your well-being can help provide the motivation and courage to set those boundaries to protect yourself.

And lastly, Robin encourages surrounding yourself with the people in your life with whom you have a supportive and validating relationship, whether it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship, especially during the holidays when you may need that additional support while navigating family gatherings.  

But if you dive a bit deeper into angel numbers, you’ll learn that each specific number and number sequence conveys a unique message. For instance, the 1144 angel number (which is one of the most popular angel numbers for love) is one sequence that often pops up for people. If that’s you, keep scrolling to learn its meaning, and most importantly, what you should do when it does show up.

Wait, what are angel numbers?

Backing up for a sec, in case you’re not familiar with angel numbers, Megan Michaela Firester (aka Mystic Michaela), a psychic medium and author of the forthcoming book The Angel Numbers Book, explains that everyone has a team of high-vibrational beings, which some like to call angels, that are always looking out for us. One of the ways these angels communicate with us is by sending us number sequences that hold specific meanings. “Angel numbers are your angels’ way of giving you support, sending you a little nudge to get something going in life, or to call your attention to see a present situation differently,” she says.

What do 1 and 4 mean in numerology?

Before diving into angel numbers for love and the 1144 angel number meaning, it’s important to understand the numbers one and four, respectively. According to fashion astrologer, diviner, and creative, Jacquelyn Tierney, the number one signifies “leadership, independence, self-identity, self-awareness, beginnings, and opportunities to plant new seeds and to take new actions.” Meanwhile, she says that the number four signifies “stability, structure, order, strengthening family roots and feeding personal root growth like self-esteem”—which is often interpreted as a sort of divine intervention.

While she’s quick to lean into their positive attributes, Tierney admits that both numbers have lower vibrations, too. “The lower vibration of the number one can be interpreted as selfish, isolating, and narrow-focused — to a detriment,” she says. “And as much as the vibration of four stabilizes, it can also lead to rigidity, restriction, and hoarding, especially if a desire to manage or control energy is fear-based.”

When these numbers are doubled, to make 11 and 44, Tierney says that their singular vibrations double as well. “Pay extra attention when these numbers show up repeatedly,” she says. “Make your wishes, and take action to help them come true. It’s your responsibility (under the four vibration) to co-create (tapping into the one vibration) with the Universe. So, in case you were wondering, yes, the number 1 and 4 combination in numerology is pretty powerful.

Now, read on to uncover why 1144 is one of the key angel numbers for love.

The Meaning of Angel Number 1144

To understand the meaning of angel number 1144, Firester breaks it down into two separate numbers: 11 and 44. The number 11, she says, “signifies an awakening to the new things coming your way”—hence why people often make wishes when the clock strikes 11:11. Meanwhile, the number 44 “encourages you to ask for some divine intervention.” In other words, it’s a signal to ask your team of angels for support, Firester adds.

According to Firester, the combination of these two powerful numbers urges you to open yourself up to new and improved life situations. So, when new people, opportunities, or circumstances present themselves, they will likely be out of your comfort zone. But, your angels are telling you to have faith that these opportunities are for your highest good. “[The angel number 1144] asks you to call in angelic support because this is something that is usually soul-contract related, meaning it’s going to level up your life aligning you to who you authentically are meant to be,” Firester says.

The Meaning of 1144 Angel Number Relating to Love

Angel number 1144 is especially potent as it relates to love and romantic relationships. Why? One word: Faith. “When you let love into your life, you let go of a lot of control, and you lean on faith that you will be able to get back what you put out there with an open heart,” Firester says.

Therefore, angel number 1144 asks you to stay open in your existing or new relationship and move forward in faith. “There isn’t always a clear path to go, but being vulnerable and open and owning that is what you can do to ensure you approach every situation as authentically as possible,” Firester says. “This is exactly how your angels can set you up for true love.”

For instance, if you’re in a relationship that’s going well, Firester says the message could be to communicate your feelings with them freely and support each other’s growth. On the other hand, if you’re in a partnership that you’re unsure about, the message would be to do some soul-searching and figure out what’s best for you. And if you’re struggling to find a relationship, your angels are likely preparing you for some change up ahead.

But wait, how do you know if the 1144 angel number message relates to love and relationships for you specifically? Firester says angels always communicate in relation to what’s presently happening in your life. So if something love or relationship-related is the most relevant scenario playing out in your life, the message is definitely calling you to flex your faith muscle in your love life.

1144 Angel Number Twin Flame Meaning

As intuitive energy healer and author of Twin Flame Codebreaker, Dr. Harmony, previously told us, “A twin flame comes into your life when you are ready for self-mastery. They are present to bring soul growth and personal transformation.”

Now, when combining the meaning of twin flames with the idea of angel number 1144, Tierney says it tracks. “In the context of love, the pairing of one and four acts as a signpost that a new love is on the way,” she says. “Your heart’s desires are manifesting—or, it can serve as a reminder to maintain a healthy level of independence and keep an eye on co-dependency and dominance within a relationship.”

1144 Angel Number Pregnancy Meaning

Since the 1144 angel number is heavily associated with love, one might assume it has strong ties to pregnancy, too. According to Tierney, though, that’s not the case. Curious what angel numbers mean pregnancy? “In my opinion, 6 and 2 are the numbers to watch for pregnancy,” Tierney shares.

1144 Angel Number Money Meaning

Remember, the 1144 angel number signifies new things coming your way and a sense of divine intervention. As it relates to money, Tierney says 1144 is a sign that balance and abundance is in the works. “When you see 1144, remember that four plus four equals eight (eight being the number of power, prosperity, and abundance) and that one plus one equals town (two being the number of balance, beauty, and patience),” she explains. “You are working your dreams of beauty and abundance into reality, step by step.” In other words, the 1144 angel number money meaning is, essentially, that if you keep working toward your dream, the money will follow.

1144 Angel Number Spiritual Meaning

Some might say that divine intervention can involve guardian angels. “Guardian angels use numbers as a way to communicate encouragement, affirmation, and guidance,” Tierney says. “When you see a numerical sequence over and over and over again — your angels and spiritual guides are trying to get your attention.”

The reason? They’re trying to remind you of the importance of a relationship with yourself and those around you.

“The number one asks us to explore our relationship with the self: Who am I and who am I becoming? The number eleven speaks to our relationship with others: Who am I in relationship to the community? How can I consider the collective? The answers to these questions can be found in taking action,” Tierney says. So, when you see the number one or eleven, she says to take it as a message from your guardian angels that it’s time to go forth. “And don’t give up,” she urges us. “Working with the vibration of four can be exhausting as it asks us to develop our muscles of discipline, organization, and endurance while we have faith in the manifestation of our desired outcome. Just because we cannot see something does not mean it isn’t there.” In that way, she says that constantly seeing the angel number 1144 is a sign from above to keep going — don’t ignore it.

What To Do When You See the Angel Number 1144 Repeatedly

If you see an angel number pop up randomly, it may catch your attention. If you see it twice, you can chalk it up to coincidence. But if you start seeing it everywhere (receipts, clocks, etc.), what does that mean? Firester says seeing an angel number repeatedly means your angels are really trying to get your attention. She compares it to someone blowing up your phone with calls, texts, DMs, etc. Eventually, you’re going to pay attention and answer.

And seeing an angel number like 1144 repeatedly requires some action on your part. Your angels want you to integrate the message and wisdom that the number delivered. For angel number 1144, the message is to be open and ready for new things, which may sound easy enough, but putting that into practice IRL can be tricky.

To help open yourself up to those exciting blessings to come, Firester recommends repeating the mantra: “I am open to my highest good.” Or, come up with your own affirmation that resonates with you. “Choose mantras that assist you in opening yourself not only to experiences which are wonderful, but also to the faith that the universe is going to match the energy you put out there,” Firester says.

Another juicy tip: When you see the angel number 1144, use it as a reminder to envision your goal and tap into gratitude. “Feel grateful for the love you already have in your life, and more will follow,” Firester says. “What you focus on grows; that’s the law of the universe, which 1144 is reminding you to harness to create more love.”

“Mental load is a feeling of overwhelm typically felt by women,” explains Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, a relationship coach, and author of the upcoming book MAN*ifesting. “Some women feel obligated to run the household and take care of everything—arranging activities, playdates, doctor and dentist appointments, study time, figuring out the meal schedule for the week, and overall managing a home and the lives in the house.” 

In other words, carrying the mental load means having a perpetual feeling that there is always more to do. And during the holiday season, that feeling of overwhelm can become even more amplified when you add in all the holiday related tasks that need to be done, such as shopping for gifts, preparing dishes for family gatherings, and arranging travel plans. It’s a lot. Not only that, but not addressing the mental load can significantly affect your mental and physical health, Bronstein says, because it can increase stress and heighten feelings of anxiety and depression.

The good news? Managing mental load during the holidays and beyond comes back to the basics of self-care you may already be familiar with. 

1. Be intentional about carving out time for yourself each week

Although it may sound counterintuitive to take time for yourself when your to-do list is never-ending, according to Bronstein, that’s precisely what can help you manage the mental load you’re carrying, especially during the busy holiday season. “You will feel better and be better able to take care of your family after taking care of yourself,” she says. 

For this reason, she suggests being very intentional about scheduling me-time each week and communicating your intention with the people around you. “Be sincere and deliver your message with authenticity as you explain the importance of you taking care of yourself,” Bronstein says. You can say something along the lines of: 

Family, I love you with all of my heart. I have been feeling overwhelmed, and I need to find some time in my week to do something for myself because, as you know, I am always doing things for you, which I love. Please support me and know that by taking a little time for myself, I can show up as my best self to help and support all of you. I would love to go to an exercise class, get a manicure, or read a book; nothing extravagant. I hope you understand and can love me unconditionally the way I love you unconditionally.

“You will be surprised at how supportive your family will be when you genuinely tell them how you feel and what you need to release your mental load,” Bronstein says.

2. Journal

One activity you can do during your weekly self-care date is journal, which can help ease a chaotic-feeling mind. “The act of writing keeps you in the present moment, and as you write down whatever weighs heaviest on your heart, you feel lighter the more you write,” Bronstein says. 

To reap the most benefits from this journaling practice, Bronstein advises being as honest as possible in your journal about how you’re feeling—the good, the bad, and the ugly. “Your journal will receive your pain, hurts, trauma, and anything needing processing and healing,” she says. “Trust that by writing in your journal, you are simultaneously healing as you release that which is holding you down inside and keeping you in a state of mental load.”

3. Exercise

Exercise is another ritual to add to your self-care checklist, especially during a busy season. Here’s why: “Exercise is a phenomenal stress and anxiety reducer,” Bronstein says. “When we exercise, our’ feel good’ neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine start firing.” And it doesn’t have to be an intense workout either, she adds that any type of movement is helpful, like going for a walk or attending a yoga class. 

4. Ask for help

One of the kindest things you can do for yourself to help managing mental load during the holidays is asking for help, whether from your spouse, a friend, a family member, or hiring someone for support. Asking for help, Bronstein says, is a sign of strength, not weakness. “Asking for help means you love yourself and care for yourself,” she says. “Once you try it, you will feel empowered.”

That being said, asking for help is often easier said than done, particularly for those not used to it. Bronstein offers a few key pieces of advice for this. First, she recommends delivering the message with an “I love you” or an “I appreciate you” at the beginning, making the person more receptive to the ask.

Second, ask for help in a non-judgemental way, meaning don’t blame the person, but rather explain that you’d love some help and that you appreciate the things they already do to support you. 

And third, release control of how they help you by allowing them to do things their way without micromanaging. Yes, this may take some practice, Bronstein says, but to fully recharge and lighten your mental load, stepping aside and letting the person help you is crucial.

5. Seek counseling

Lastly, Bronstein emphasizes the importance of working with a therapist who can provide space for you to share your uncensored feelings without judgment once a week, particularly during a busy season. “Having a catharsis of emotions and feelings makes you feel lighter and less weighed down with feelings of overwhelm and anxiety,” she says. “Therapy also helps you put things into perspective and rise above the circumstances to get a bird’s eye view that allows you to navigate stressful situations.” 

One helpful technique for easing some of that anxiety during an initial session is to have a script to guide you on what to say your first time talking with a therapist. Before you even begin the conversation, though, Sosa encourages taking some deep breaths. “Practicing taking shorter inhales and deeper exhales signals our nervous system to relax, which slowly works to deactivate our stress response,” she says. “From this less stressed state, we can move forward.” After you’ve calmed your system, you can start going through the six topics below to get the most out of your first time talking to a therapist (or any medical professional for that matter). 

1. Let them know how you’re feeling

Sosa says that it’s perfectly okay to let the therapist know what’s coming up for you at the beginning or any point during the session. You can say something like:

“This is my first time in therapy, and I’m feeling anxious. I just wanted to share that and unload some of what I’ve been carrying.” 

Sosa reminds us that therapy is confidential (with a few exceptions, which the therapist will discuss with you). “Let that liberate you and allow you to speak freely,” she says.

2. Share your expectations

The first therapy appointment is also the best time to share your expectations about what you’ll cover and take away from therapy. “We all create stories in our heads about what our first session will look like,” Sosa says. “Sometimes these expectations are realistic, sometimes they’re not. Instead of waiting and possibly being disappointed at the end, discuss with your therapist.” 

So what exactly do you say here? Sosa recommends something like:

“This is what I imagined therapy looking like…” or “In my first session, I thought this would happen…” You can also say, “These are some of the results I expected…Is this realistic?”

3. Focus on what’s concrete and tangible

Often, diving straight into sharing your deep feelings is difficult, Sosa says, but you don’t have to do so during the first session. You can move at your own pace if you feel uncomfortable sharing everything right away. “Be patient with yourself and your process,” she adds. 

Instead, Sosa suggests starting with sharing your goals and observations, and says this is one way to start that conversation:

“I’ve been noticing that this is currently happening, and this is how I would like for this to look differently.”

According to Sosa, “letting your therapist know concretely what you’re experiencing and how you would like things to change provides a great foundation and starting point for further exploration.”

4. Correct your therapist if needed

If the therapist doesn’t understand something, Sosa advises letting them know as they will likely be happy to receive your feedback and redirect the conversation. “It might feel intimidating, yet this is a great place to practice being assertive,” she says.

Sosa says this could look like saying: “Actually, that’s not exactly it, it’s more like this.…” 

5. Ask for clarification

Also, if, at any point during your first session (or any therapy session, really), the therapist shares some insights or asks questions that don’t quite make sense to you, Sosa recommends asking for clarification. You can respond with:

“What do you mean?” or “Can you ask that question differently?”

6. Advocate for yourself

Lastly, we are our biggest advocate regarding mental health, so don’t be afraid to do so, even during your first therapy appointment. “While it’s the therapist’s role to lead and guide, you’re also in charge of the session,” Sosa says. If something feels like it’s too much or too soon, Sosa says, feel free to hit the brakes and say:

“I’m not quite ready to talk about that yet. I want to discuss it eventually. Can we come back to that?”

Advocating for yourself also means ending the therapy relationship, even after the first session, if you don’t feel a connection with that particular therapist. “Therapy is kind of like dating, sometimes the client/therapist match isn’t a good fit,” Sosa says. “Don’t be discouraged; keep looking; there’s plenty of therapists in the sea.”

1. You’re more curious about yourself

Rather than just believing you are who you are, Tiffany Brown, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist, says one of the first signs you’re healing your inner child is that you begin to question why you respond in specific ways, question your thought patterns, and think about the roots of your emotions. With this curiosity, she says, you begin to understand that those patterns are conditioned responses from your early life and are no longer needed. 

2. You can identify core childhood wounds behind triggers

Becoming more curious about your patterns also includes identifying the core childhood wounds behind your triggers. “A trigger is any experience, memory, person, or place that elicits intense emotional activation,” says Simone Saunders, RSW, a trauma therapist and founder of The Cognitive Corner. “Some of the triggers we experience as adults have deep roots in painful childhood experiences.”

For instance, hypersensitivity to rejection as an adult may be linked to a parent not taking an interest in you as a child. Often, Saunders adds, the link between the childhood experience and the trigger isn’t easy to identify. But once you make the connection, it allows you to understand and meet the needs of your inner child in order to heal the wounds, which brings us to the next sign. 

3. You meet your inner child’s needs

While awareness of your triggers and wounds is a powerful and important tool in inner child healing, Saunder says it’s most effective when paired with taking action to meet the needs of your inner child. “When we’re able to do this, it contributes to an establishment of self-trust between present-day self and the inner child,” she says. 

So if you habitually make an effort to meet the needs of your inner child, that’s a sign that healing is happening. And meeting the inner child’s needs, she adds, will vary depending on the situation but can look like validation, reassurance, self-soothing, implementing boundaries, or identifying expectations.

4. You make time for play

Being an adult comes with a long list of responsibilities, and the reality is that sometimes play gets put on the back burner. However, Saunders says making time for play is a sign you’re healing your inner child because it allows for authentic self-expression. “Often, when we think and hear about inner child healing, it’s typically accompanied by deep, meaningful, and emotional conversations and exercises,” she says. “While this is an accurate representation of inner child work, what’s also true is the need for light-heartened, fun-loving play.” This can include any activities you enjoyed as a child, such as hanging out at the park, playing with pets, or coloring. 

5. You feel motivated to pursue new things

Dr. Brown says that feeling free and experiencing less struggle in areas that used to feel particularly challenging are also telltale signs you’ve been doing inner child work for some time. She adds that this new sense of liberation may make you feel open to pursue things you previously haven’t, such as friendships, passions, goals, or love. The reason for this, she explains, is that the inner child’s needs are different from the adult’s needs. For instance, your inner child may have desired highly dependent relationships, but as your inner child heals, balanced relationships become more desirable and thus you feel more motivated to pursue them. 

6. You notice differences in your relationships

While inner child work is deeply personal, the effects of it can also spill over into your relationships. Specifically, Dr. Brown says it changes how you engage with other people, such as being less reactive, communicating more effectively, and being more intentional about the relationships you seek. 

7. You experience less drastic mood shifts and anxiety

Over time, inner child work can also lead to experiencing less drastic mood shifts, Dr. Brown says. Your mood will, of course, change because, well, life, but those fluctuations won’t be as extreme as they were before. She says that also means you’ll feel less anxious and generally calmer, which can, in turn, improve sleep and make you feel less preoccupied during social interactions. She explains that these shifts in mood are because you’ve begun to process deep emotions and experiences that may have been repressed. 

8. You understand healing is an ongoing process

Lastly, one big sign that you’re healing your inner child is that you realize that healing is a journey, “one with ebbs and flows, mountains and valleys,” Saunders says, meaning there will still be times you feel triggered and require more love and support than other times. However, that doesn’t mean you view yourself as a never-ending project that needs “fixing.” Instead, you see it as a life-long journey of learning. “When we create a relationship with our inner child based on longevity rather than focusing on a completion date, it allows for a reduction in hyper-awareness and an increase in self-acceptance,” Saunders says. 

What is the napper sleep chronotype?

The four sleep chronotypes refer to when a person naturally feels sleepy and alert throughout the day. Angela Holliday-Bell, MD, a physician, certified sleep specialist, and sleep coach, explains that the morning bird chronotype means you feel most alert in the morning, and then your alertness gradually declines as the day continues. On the other hand, she says the night owl chronotype is less alert in the morning, and their energy levels increase as the day progresses. Meanwhile, the afternoon chronotype feels most awake and energized during—you guessed it—the afternoon.

Then there’s the napper sleep chronotype, which a 2019 study published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences found many people fall into. “In this chronotype, individuals tend to feel alert when they wake in the morning but have two periods of decreased alertness or sleepiness in the late afternoon around 3 p.m. and again in the late evening around 10 p.m.,” Dr. Holliday-Bell explains. “They tend to feel pretty alert during the times in between.”

If you experience those two slumps throughout the day and get especially sleepy around 3 p.m., those are telltale signs that you, too, fall into the napper sleep chronotype. (If you’re unsure, tracking when you tend to feel awake and sleepy during the day can help you identify your sleep chronotype.) 

So, why do you get *really* sleepy around 3 p.m.?

Everyone experiences the 3 pm and 10 pm energy dips due to our circadian rhythm. “Your circadian rhythm is a roughly 24-hour cycle that controls your levels of alertness and sleepiness throughout the day in addition to other metabolic and endocrinologic processes,” Dr. Holliday-Bell explains. “In that 24-hour cycle, there is a known slight dip in the level of alertness in the mid-afternoon, commonly known as the mid-afternoon or post-prandial slump. Alertness subsequently increases and then dips more significantly as the late evening comes around.”

The difference between the napper chronotype and the other sleep chronotypes is that nappers have a more exaggerated version of the normal circadian rhythm. Therefore, they experience more significant decreases in levels of alertness during the afternoon slump. The reason behind it, however, is still unknown. “We are not currently aware of what specifically causes the decrease in levels of alertness during the afternoon, but think it may be an evolutionary remnant from when midday napping was beneficial for survival,” Dr. Holliday-Bell says.  

How to align with the napper sleep chronotype

Once you identify that you’re a napper sleep chronotype, how do you deal with the extra afternoon sleepiness? We tend to function best when we go with the flow of our natural circadian rhythm. So, planning your day around your alertness windows can be helpful. In other words, don’t book important meetings around 3 p.m. 

And, if possible, Dr. Holliday-Bell says one of the best things you can do when that sleepiness hits is take a power nap. “This will help get you through the afternoon slump and actually wake up with more energy and increased focus and productivity,” she says. So, permission to schedule a recurring naptime appointment in your Google calendar. 

Even better news: Dr. Holliday-Bell says power naps don’t need to be long to reap the benefits—15 to 30 minutes will do the trick—making it easier to squeeze them into a busy day. As for the late-evening slump around 10 p.m., her advice is just to call it a night and go to sleep. The increased sleep drive during that time will make it easier to fall asleep, so take advantage as you drift off to dreamland. 

Dr. Gillihan adds that part of men’s reluctance to go to therapy may be due to the stereotypes of what it means to “be a man” and the belief that the need for therapy is a sign of weakness. Furthermore, given that most therapists are female, it can be difficult to find a male therapist if that’s preferred. “In my field of psychology, for example, only about one-third of psychologists are men,” Dr. Gillihan says. “The numbers are even more pronounced for licensed clinical social workers and marriage and family therapists, where only about 22 percent are men.” This creates yet another barrier to getting needed mental health care.

So, to sum up: Dr. Gillihan says, in general, finding a good therapist can be challenging, let alone for men who face additional barriers. The good news? There are many mental health resources for men to learn more about therapy (without judgment) and get the support they need. 

He suggests starting with these 5 mental health resources for men

1. Online educational sites

As a starting point, Dr. Gillihan suggests online resources that offer information and education about mental health issues that affect men, such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In particular, he advises checking out the National Institute of Mental Health, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. These online resources are chock-full of information, making them worthy of a deep dive to help better understand different mental health issues, including warning signs, symptoms, and available treatment options. 

2. Referrals

Dr. Gillihan recommends requesting a referral from your primary care doctor or a friend you trust. Your health insurance can also help you find a therapist in your network. He adds that seeing an out-of-network therapist will likely cost more out of pocket. When asking for referrals, note what qualifications you’re looking for in a therapist, such as a preference for working with a male or female provider. You can also ask for suggestions of therapists who have experience working with men and understand the stigmas and challenges they face around mental health to help narrow down your search. 

3. Provider databases

The good ol’ internet can also be a helpful resource in finding a mental health provider. Specifically, Dr. Gillihan recommends searching your local area through a mental health search engine such as Psychology Today, which allows you to filter searches for female, male, or non-binary therapists. You can also search for local psychiatrists, treatment centers, and support groups. Good Therapy is another database Dr. Gillihan recommends. Other options include the American Psychological Association and ​​ TherapyforBlackMen.org. The perk of searching for a therapist online is that you can find ones that offer teletherapy sessions, which means you can cast a wider net and look for providers outside of your general vacinity. 

4. Local colleges and universities

Another great mental health resource for men? Local colleges and universities. “If you live near a college or university with a mental health professional training program, they might offer low-fee counseling with their trainees,” Dr. Gillihan says. “Your therapist-in-training would be closely supervised by a licensed provider.” And side note: If budget is a concern, Dr. Gillihan adds that some therapists offer reduced fees for those with significant financial needs, so it’s always worth asking if needed. 

5. Self-guided cognitive behavioral therapy

Dr. Gillihan says taking a DIY approach can be beneficial for men who are not ready to sign up for therapy yet, but want to dip their toes in to get a feel for it. He recommends self-guided cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for common mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. 

To give it a go, he points to self-help books on CBT. The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies has a handy list of self-help book recommendations you can check out. Self-help books can be effective for those with mild to moderate symptoms. However, Dr. Gillihan advises men who experience more serious mental health symptoms to work with a professional.

Once you find a therapist

As you navigate accessing mental health support, finding a therapist you like and can connect with is important. “The quality of your relationship with your therapist can have a big impact on the treatment,” Dr. Gillihan says. “Take the first few sessions to get a feel for your therapist, and don’t hesitate to let them know when something isn’t working for you. Good therapists want your feedback so they can be as helpful to you as possible.”

If, for whatever reason, the therapist doesn’t feel like the right fit, he suggests looking for a new one.  

Backing up for a sec, here’s a quick refresher on how birth control pills operate: “It’s important to understand that our modern birth control pills work by providing a regular and daily dose of hormones that suppress our natural hormone fluctuations in order to prevent ovulation,” explains OB/GYN Charis Chambers, MD. “Our most common pills combine estrogen and progestin with five to seven days of placebo pills to allow for a ‘period-like’ bleed.” 

With this in mind, Dr. Chambers says skipping the placebo pills is inconsequential. So, if you are on vacation during placebo week (aka period week), don’t sweat it. However, skipping active pills (the ones that do contain hormones) does come with consequences, including an increased risk of unplanned pregnancy. To best protect yourself, below, Dr. Chambers explains step by step what to do if you forgot your birth control at home while on vacation. 

What to do if you forget your birth control during vacation

The first course of action: Give your doctor a call. Dr. Chambers says you can request a prescription from them to be sent to a pharmacy near where you’re vacationing. Once you pick up your birth control pills, she advises taking your late pill as soon as possible if it’s been less than 24 hours. If it’s been more than a day and you’ve missed two doses, take two pills at the same time. 

If you skipped more than two birth control pills, Dr. Chambers says it’s essential to use a backup form of contraception (like condoms) if you plan to have sex during your trip. Or, if needed, use emergency contraception if you engaged in unprotected sex during that time.

That said, if you’re traveling internationally, it’s a whole different situation. “It’s nearly impossible to get a prescription for your pills without seeing a doctor licensed to practice in that country,” Dr. Chambers says. “Even then, pills may differ overseas, and there may be difficulty getting your same pills prescribed.” So you may or may not be able to get a replacement prescription on international trips. In this case, be sure to use another form of contraception during sex to be safe. 

Besides the lapse in pregnancy prevention, Dr. Chambers says skipping active birth control pills altogether while on vacation can disrupt your cycle and lead to irregular bleeding, breakthrough bleeding (aka unscheduled bleeding or spotting in between periods), or mood changes as hormones fluctuate. So look out for any cycle changes. 

What to do once you get back home

If you were able to get your hands on a new prescription during your trip, you can continue taking your pills as usual once you arrive home. However, if you couldn’t get any and skipped a few days while traveling, Dr. Chambers recommends discussing with your doctor, who can advise on how to best restart them. 

Regardless of when you restart the birth control pills, though, Dr. Chambers says using a backup form of contraception such as condoms during sex is recommended for the first 10–14 days of restarting the pills as cycle irregularities are likely to occur. 

If you forget other forms of birth control

Not on the pill? Maybe you forgot to pack your patches, vaginal rings, diaphragms, or female condoms. Or, you left for your destination without getting a birth control injection. Whatever form of birth control you use (besides the long-acting types like IUDs), Dr. Chambers says the same rules apply if you forget them at home while traveling: Give your doctor a call when you arrive at your destination and see if you can get a prescription sent to a nearby pharmacy. Use backup or emergency contraception if needed, and resume your prescribed birth control method with the guidance of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider once you return from your trip. 

1. Don’t wait too long to hire a divorce lawyer

Marcia Mavrides, a Boston-based divorce lawyer for Mavrides Law, says couples contemplating divorce may understandably experience fear of the unknown, such as what their post-divorce life will look like, how the laws will apply to their situation, and how their finances will be impacted. That fear often holds people back from talking to a divorce attorney right away, but Mavrides says that’s precisely the reason why you should consult with one sooner rather than later. “An experienced attorney can apply your set of facts to the law and give you some perspective on how to move forward,” she explains. So the right time to speak with a divorce attorney is as soon as you are seriously considering a divorce. 

2. Understand the general divorce process

The process can seem daunting and confusing if you’ve never been through a divorce. Having a basic understanding of how things will flow can help ease some of that overwhelm. While the process will differ based on where you live and your specific situation, Julia Rodgers, a Massachusetts family law attorney and CEO of HelloPrenup, says typically, a divorce can include: mediation, collaborative law, negotiation, and litigation. 

“Mediation is an amicable way to work through issues in a divorce, including asset division, child support, spousal support, and child custody,” Rodgers explains. Divorce mediation, she adds, is led by a certified mediator, who acts as a neutral third party to help the couple find a mutually satisfactory resolution. They don’t, however, make decisions or provide legal advice. 

Collaborative law, which differs by state, generally allows spouses to communicate openly and work together to reach an amicable settlement outside of court. “Each spouse must hire an attorney certified in collaborative law,” she says. “Additional professionals may be involved throughout this process, including accountants, counselors, or appraisers. If the spouses agree, the attorneys will prepare a written agreement and present it to the court for approval.”

The divorce process also includes negotiation, which Rodgers notes can be conducted directly between spouses or through their attorneys. The latter is often preferred, Rodgers says, as discussing divorce with your spouse can be emotionally challenging. If a couple can’t agree on all the material terms of the divorce, it goes to litigation, Rodgers says, which means you’ll go to court and have a judge decide for you. Taking the litigation route, however, is the most emotionally draining and time-consuming way to get divorced. 

3. Litigation is more expensive than you think

Many people are aware that divorce is a costly process. Still, Rodgers says most aren’t aware of just how expensive it can be, especially when there is litigation involved. “Most people don’t understand how much litigation costs, so they enter the divorce process planning to fight with no idea of how much they will be spending,” she says. “Very quickly, they realize the emotional and financial cost associated.” 

4. No one truly ‘wins’ the divorce

In some cases, litigation during a divorce is necessary, but if possible, Rodgers recommends avoiding it. “Don’t waste time trying to fight because nobody wins,” she says. “You will not ‘win’ if you use your attorney as a weapon to wage war against your spouse. Doing so will only further fracture your family and hurt your children.” So if there are emotional issues between the divorcing spouses, Rodgers advises working through those with a good therapist and not with your lawyer. 

5. Divorce takes longer than you expect

Another thing couples often get wrong about divorce is assuming it’ll be a quick process. “Whether you divorce amicably by mediation or choose to litigate, you will not get divorced in a matter of weeks or even a few months,” Rodgers says. “In most states, courts are backlogged with cases, and processing times will take longer than you expect.” In other words, be patient. 

6. Protect yourself before a divorce

One thing that can help make a divorce process as smooth as possible is signing a prenuptial agreement before you get married. Rodgers says everyone can benefit from a prenup, whether you have a few assets or a high net worth. “A prenup allows you and your fiancé to decide for yourselves if you would like your assets, debt, and inheritance to be considered marital/community property or separate property after marriage,” she says. “If you don’t get a prenup, your state’s laws will decide for you.” 

And if you’re already married and didn’t sign a prenup before tying the knot, there’s another option available: a postnup. Similar to a prenup, Rodgers says a postnup allows couples to decide how they want marital or community property to be divided if they get divorced down the road. However, she notes that courts tend to scrutinize postnups more so than prenups because they’re often (but not always) created as a cure for marital issues such as infidelity or financial difficulties. So, when possible, it’s best to sign a prenup before the “I dos.” 

According to Daryl Thuroff, DACM, LAc, LMT, an acupuncturist, herbalist, and massage therapist, giving yourself compression foot massages using a tennis ball can help relieve foot pain of many types, ranging from discomfort after wearing high heels to pains caused by working on your feet all day. Add in the relaxation component of tennis ball foot massages, and you’re in for a real treat.

Benefits of a tennis ball foot massage

Massaging your feet with a tennis ball offers many perks, including stress reduction, reduced foot pain, and it support organs in the body as they access reflexology zones, Dr. Thuroff says. Podiatrist Chanel Houston Perkins, DPM, adds that these massages can also help release tension, improve circulation, strengthen the feet, and help loosen foot ligaments, reducing the likelihood of injury. 

And, more good news: Using a tennis ball to massage your feet also helps with back pain. Dr. Thuroff explains there are acupressure and reflexology points on the feet that represent the back. “The feet, hands, and ears are all considered microcosms of the macrocosm (the body),” she says. “This is how they are connected.” Dr. Perkins expands on this, adding that we have nerve roots that originate in the lower back and branch out until they reach the feet. In other words, it’s all connected. 

How to use a tennis ball to relieve foot pain

The key with tennis ball massages is to manage the pressure to ensure it’s restorative, Dr. Thuroff says. Meaning don’t overdo it with pressure, as that can make things worse, which isn’t the goal. Also, don’t forget to breathe. “I incorporate breathing prompts with any massage work I do as it is helpful to oxygenate the body and facilitate optimal healing,” she says. 

If you’re hoping to relieve stress and tension due to repetitive use (for instance, if you’re on your feet for long periods for work), Dr. Thuroff suggests doing these exercises daily (morning and evening) for the best results.

1. Rolling massage

The rolling massage is the most common way you can use a tennis ball to massage your feet, Dr. Perkins says. Sit in a chair, keeping your back straight and the tennis ball on the ground. Place your bare foot on top of the ball and slowly and gently roll the center of your foot over the tennis ball. Specifically, Dr. Perkins recommends rolling the ball on areas of concern as needed. 

Alternatively for an overall foot massage, Dr. Thuroff suggests starting at the hindfoot (heel/ankle). “Find the tender spot on the big toe side, closer to the arch,” she says. “This point may be especially helpful for plantar fasciitis.” Then rock back and forth over the ball 10 times and roll around the tender point with small circles 10 times. Repeat on any tender areas in the midfoot (arch) or forefoot (toes and area before the arch).

2. Trigger point massage

To really get the areas that are causing discomfort, Dr. Perkins recommends a trigger point foot massage. Sit in a chair with the tennis ball underneath your foot. Rather than rolling the ball as you did during the rolling massage, press your foot down to apply pressure to one spot at a time for 15 seconds. “Use your body weight (not too much) to increase pressure as needed, comparable to a deep foot massage one would accomplish manually,” Dr. Perkins says. 

3. Toe stretch

You can also use a tennis ball to give your toes a good stretch. To do so, Dr. Perkins instructs placing the tennis ball against a wall and then positioning your heel on the floor in front of it with your toes flexed against it. Then slowly lean towards the wall, gently adding pressure to your toes against the tennis ball. Hold for a few seconds, then release and repeat as needed. 

4. Ball squeeze

If the inside of the foot (aka the side the big toe is on) is the area that’s causing discomfort, Dr. Thuroff recommends this squeezing technique in particular. Sitting down in a chair with the tennis ball on the ground, bring the ball between your feet at the arches. Then squeeze your feet together around the tennis ball for 3-5 seconds. “Make sure you are breathing in while squeezing and exhaling while releasing,” she says. Repeat 3–5 times. 

Tennis ball foot massage precautions

Tennis ball foot massages are not recommended for everyone. Dr. Perkins advises avoiding this technique if you have a diagnosed rupture of a ligament or muscle tendon in the foot, a suspected foot fracture, or a dislocated joint that hasn’t been properly treated. 

Dr. Thuroff also recommends caution for people with inflammatory conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis or gout, feet infections, and acute foot injuries, as the massage may exacerbate the situation rather than resolve it. And also, be cautious during early pregnancy. “There are acupressure points and reflexology zones that may be representative of reproductive organs where we do not want to do deep, moving work,” she says. “In cases like these, it is best to seek massage and/or reflexology from a licensed/certified professional with perinatal massage experience.”

As always, when in doubt, check with your medical provider before trying new massage techniques. 

Children assume this butt-to-the-ground posture naturally as they play and navigate the world. It’s also a very common daily movement for adults as we squat down to pick up something heavy or sit on the ground, and it’s a birthing position that may result in less perineal tears. The problem is that as a society, our sedentary lives and high reliance on chairs have taken away many people’s ability to do a deep resting squat and reap the many health benefits it affords. 

“The saying, ‘if we don’t use it, we lose it,’ is extremely true in the case of being able to squat like a toddler again,” Thurman says. “As we get older, move less, and sit more, our soft tissue gets tight, the spacing between our joints [decreases], and our nervous system gets used to not moving through full ranges of motion.”

The benefits of the deep resting squat

One of the benefits of holding deep resting squats is improved mobility, specifically ankle mobility, which Thurman says many people lack, as well as the natural movements we do throughout the day, minimizing pain and risk of injury. “If you are more mobile and your joints move in all directions [like] they are supposed to, the tissue doesn’t take as much load and can help you move without pain,” Thurman says. “Think of even picking up groceries, your kid, grandkid, and how nice it would be to do it with ease and not worrying about hurting yourself.”

The benefits of deep resting squats also carry over into your workouts. For instance, Thurman says, powerlifters would love to get low and drive through an entire motion without pain, which deep resting squats can help with as they strengthen the body’s backside. “Deep squats themselves have been shown [to be] even more effective at building that powerful backside over regular squats,” Thurman says. And, he adds, they also support pelvis and back health. “Having a stronger pelvic floor and deep spinal muscles such as the spinal erectors will help stabilize the hips and pelvis.”

How to do a deep resting squat

To properly do a deep resting squat, Thurman instructs standing with your feet about hip-width apart, and your toes slightly pointed out. Then slowly lower your body, allowing your hips to sink down as if you’re about to sit on a very low chair. Try to get as low as you comfortably can, ideally with your butt below your knees. Go slow and avoid overdoing it. This posture shouldn’t cause pain in any way. If it does, stop and adjust, and if needed, hold onto something for support. 

Thurman notes that if you’re just getting started with a deep resting squat, going that low may not be possible, and that’s okay. The key, he says, is to keep your feet flat on the ground, maintain a flat, neutral spine (meaning, don’t hunch over), and ensure your shoulders stay in line with your hips. 

Hold the position for 10 seconds, then stand back up, and repeat six times throughout the day, Thurman says, especially after sitting for long periods. As you get better at it, he suggests increasing each session to 30 seconds or more as long as it feels comfortable. “Who knows, maybe you will start reading books in the deep squat,” he says. 

For instance, bleeding during the full moon is referred to as a red moon cycle, indicating you’ll experience creativity, mentorship, and healing during each period. However, if you bleed during the new moon (first of all, same), you have a white moon cycle which has a totally different vibe and spiritual significance. Read on to learn what that is, plus tips on harnessing the power of a white moon cycle. 

What is the significance of a white moon cycle or menstruating through a new moon?

“Many people believe that if your period comes on the new moon each month, what is called a white moon cycle, that you are connected to the energies of Mother Earth, meaning that you are in a fertile, creative, and nurturing time of your life,” says Serena Poon, a celebrity nutritionist, reiki master, and longevity wellness expert. 

In other words, the white moon cycle is seen as the mother or caregiver phase of life. “This can mean that you are in a time in your life that you are either nurturing a family or starting one, or in a caregiver role in some way in your life,” explains Rebecca Rankin, a yoga teacher, reiki master, and holistic hormone health practitioner. 

That said, a white moon cycle is not just about taking care of others—it’s also about tending to yourself. “A white moon cycle indicates you want to give more energy to yourself and is your body’s way of gently reminding you that you need more TLC,” explains Desiree Roby Antila, author of Sun Signs in Love. “During your cycle, devote your resources inward instead of outward.” 

And, this nurturing energy is also good news for your goals and dreams. Antila describes it as “fertilization for powerful manifestations.” For that reason, having a white moon cycle serves as a time to create space for new beginnings. 

How to harness the power of a white moon cycle

Double down on self-care

Energy levels tend to naturally wane during menstruation thanks to estrogen and progesterone levels being at their lowest. Poon’s advice: “Don’t fight these energies; instead, lean into the energy of rest and renewal that the new moon calls for.” That can look like taking a new moon bath, journaling, getting a massage, or any other act of self-care that nourishes your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. 

Set intentions

The new moon is also the best time to set intentions. Think about what you want to bring into your life in the month ahead. “If you’re not particularly excited about fertility, consider that the energy used to make a baby is, in fact, creative energy,” Poon says. “Creative energy can be useful in many other avenues of life as well. The beginning of your menstrual cycle can become a time for preparing to call in a new creation of any kind.”

Focus on letting go

The new moon and menstruation have an out-with-the-old-in-with-the-new type of energy. So, Poon says doing anything that helps clear out old energy and create space for new beginnings is ideal during a white moon cycle period. In particular, Rankin recommends playing with this theme by asking yourself: “To make room for more of what I want, what am I ready to let go of?” She adds that reciting the affirmation “I shed old habits that no longer serve me, and I listen deeply to my intuition” can also be supportive during a new moon bleed. 

Celebrate during the full moon

If you have a white moon cycle, that also means that ovulation will sync up with the full moon phase. Poon notes you’ll notice an increase in energy as the moon gets fuller because estrogen levels are at their highest during ovulation. 

The full moon is also when the intentions you set during the new moon start coming to fruition. For this reason, Poon suggests celebrating what you’ve created over the last couple of weeks and reflecting on what else you want to release and what you want to expand during the remainder of the cycle. 

Rankin adds that the full moon also has an energy of fertility. So when you pair that with ovulation, that energy is magnified, making this a great time to tap into your creativity and be seen and social. 

More than anything, Rankin says understanding what sacred cycle you’re on is an opportunity to slow down and do some self-inquiry. “Your period will attune to different cycles over the course of your life, so it’s fascinating to note what’s going on in your life energetically as your body cycles,” she says. 

This random—albeit refreshing—technique helps relieve anxiety by activating the body’s mammalian diving reflex. And, according to the internet, it can also help relieve nausea and hangovers. Read on to learn more about it and how to try the ice water trick for yourself. 

What is the mammalian diving reflex?

The diving reflex consists of breathing cessation (apnea), a dramatic slowing of heart rate (bradycardia), and an increase in peripheral vasoconstriction, explains Judy Ho, PhD, a clinical and forensic neuropsychologist. “When activated in emergency situations where a person might drown, it is thought to conserve vital oxygen stores and maintain life by redirecting activity to the two organs most essential for life—the heart and brain,” she adds. In other words, the body physiologically responds to cold water submersion by stopping your breathing and slowing down your heart rate to conserve energy for survival. 

That said, when using this hack as a coping technique, Dr. Ho emphasizes that the goal is not to significantly stop your breathing or lower your heart rate. Instead, brief experiences with cold water or cold objects, particularly when the cold hits the face and nose, sends a message to the vagus nerve, which manages the parasympathetic nervous system known as the rest and relaxation system.

“When the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, it regulates and slows down your heart rate and breathing and leads to an overall feeling of calm for many people,” Dr. Ho explains. “It also signals to your brain and body that there is no emergency going on here and therefore helps you to relax and reset from a stressful situation.”

The best part of this coping technique is that it’s very easy to do—all you need is a bowl, water, and ice. And, Dr. Ho says it works within seconds to minutes to help calm you down. Keep scrolling to learn how to do it. 

How to activate the diving reflux with ice water

The instructions are pretty straightforward: Start by filling a bowl (ideally one that can fit your entire face) with water and ice. Then submerge your face in the ice water for 10–15 seconds. Repeat as needed. Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. “Don’t submerge yourself to the point where you feel like you can’t breathe or are choking,” Dr. Ho says. 

If submerging your face in ice water doesn’t feel comfortable or if it’s just not practical to do at the time (like if you’re out and about), there are other ways to activate the diving reflex. Dr. Ho recommends placing a small baggie with ice cubes or an ice-cold towel on your face. Splashing cold water on your face will also do the trick. Or better yet, take a cold shower. And if you’re in a pinch, rubbing ice cubes on your wrists and temples can also bring some relief. 

Dr. Ho suggests using this technique whenever you feel overwhelmed, under extreme stress, or feel anxiety, or a panic attack developing. And even if you’re not feeling particularly stressed or anxious, she adds that it can be a nice little self-care treat in the middle of a busy day. 

Another thing to note: Although this trick can help most people feel better, some folks should take precautions or avoid it altogether. In particular, Dr. Ho says if you have a heart disorder (or a family history of heart conditions), low heart rate due to medication, difficulty breathing, a phobia of water, or other major medical problems, consult with a medical professional first before trying this technique for yourself. 

Ustrasana or camel pose benefits

1. Stretches and strengthens

Besides providing a really great stretch, Washington says camel pose also helps strengthen your abs, thighs, back, hamstring, and glutes. 

2. Corrects rounded shoulders

Many of us spend too much time slouched over something (computer screen, cell phone, steering wheel, etc.). “Unfortunately, our shoulders, upper back, spine, and neck suffer the consequences,” Washington says. “Camel pose counteracts this by literally opening up our chest and maneuvering our spine in the opposite direction to correct rounded shoulders, relieve pain that has accumulated in our necks and upper backs, and strengthen our spine.”

3. Helps with back pain

In addition to correcting rounded shoulders, this pose can also help prevent back pain. “Oftentimes, back pain can come from poor posture, which may be the result of a weak core or hunched upper body,” Washington says. “When done properly, camel pose engages the muscles in your back and abdominals, which can help prevent future issues.” 

4. May relieve constipation

If you’ve gone a few days without pooping, you may want to add this pose to your yoga flow. “Yoga has been [shown] to help with digestion,” Washington says. “Camel pose, in particular, stretches your abdominals, stomach, and intestines, which are key to healthy digestion and relieving constipation.” 

5. Opens up your chest

“Camel pose is a backbend that opens your heart chakra to giving and receiving joy, love, and compassion,” Washington says, adding that it can also make breathing easier because it increases your breathing capacity. With heart-opening poses like this, some people may feel vulnerable or emotional during or after the pose. Washington advises being gentle with yourself and taking it at your own pace if this happens. 

6. Cultivates a sense of inner harmony

Overall, most people feel calm, empowered, and strong when doing Ustrasana. “Some people also find this pose very relaxing, which can decrease overall stress and anxiety levels to help create a sense of inner peace,” Washington says. 

How to do the Ustrasana or camel pose

The key with the camel pose is not to overdo it with the backbend. “The priorities are to find a backbend that you do not want to run away from and to discover a shape where you can breathe deeply for about 30 seconds,” Washington says.  

Start by kneeling at the center of your mat with your knees directly under your hips. Place your hands on your lower back with fingers pointing down toward the floor. As you inhale, lift your chest toward the ceiling, leading with your heart, to create a C-curve with your back. Take a moment here to check in on how this sensation feels. You can hold here for for 30-60 seconds. Or, take this pose deeper by engaging your thighs and glutes (this helps protect your lower back) and bring your hands onto your heels. Ensure your hips remain stacked over your knees and keep your chin pointed towards your chest. Hold the pose for 30–60 seconds. 

To come out of the pose, place your hands back on your hips. Engage your abs as you slowly lift your chest back to an upright position. Lastly, with your hands on your thighs, take a few breaths to calm your heart rate and ground yourself if you feel disoriented. 

Pro tip: “Always listen to your body, and make sure you take the time to safely exit the pose,” Washington says. 

Ustrasana precautions

While camel pose is a great move for most people, Washington advises skipping it if you’re injured, are recovering from surgery, or experienced chronic knee, shoulder, neck, or back pain. “This is an intermediate and more strenuous pose that can agitate preexisting muscle aches or joint issues in these areas,” she warns. “Be sure to speak with your doctor if you have any concerns before practicing yoga.”

Washington also notes that some people experience headaches after doing backbends. To prevent this from happening, she suggests adding a camel pose toward the end of a yoga sequence rather than at the beginning. “This way, our bodies are properly warmed up, stretched, and prepared for the opening,” she says. Or, at least do some cat-cow stretches to activate your abs and back first. 

Unintentionally holding your breath while leaning into the pose or holding a backband may also lead to headaches.  So, “use your breath as a guide for your movement,” Washington says. “For example, let your inhale create lift in your chest, and use your exhale to discover depth.” Again, the important thing with Ustrasana is not to overextend yourself. “Find a backbend where you can mindfully breathe throughout the duration of the pose.”

Practice your camel pose, along with other chest openers, in this 10-minute stretching video: 

1. Never wear flip-flops all-day

Although flip-flop sandals are the footwear of choice for some folks when the weather is warm enough, Kyles wouldn’t wear them all day long because they lack proper foot support. “Over-gripping of the toes along with a lack of arch support can lead to inflammation in the plantar fascia ligament along the bottom side of your foot,” he says. “Watching families walk around malls, theme parks, and tourist attractions in flip-flops is absolutely gut-wrenching to a massage therapist.” 

Kyles adds that wearing flip-flops for long periods can also lead to shin splints and toe cramping, which massage therapists see an increase of during summertime. So, whether you live in a hotter environ year round (or are just headed somewhere warm on vacation), show your feet some love and opt for orthopedic sandals or a comfy pair of sneakers when you’ll be on your feet for long periods. 

2. Never do static stretches before a workout

Stretching before exercising is essential, but Kyles says you want to save the static stretches—the types you hold for a longer period of time, for your cool downs. “Elongation of muscle tissue impedes quick-fire activity,” he says. Instead, he recommends dynamic stretching for warm-ups, which involves flowing through stretches and only holding them for few seconds at a time, as they are more effective way to prepare your body for these types of exercises. “Save those deep stretches for post-workout and recovery,” he says. 

3. Never carry heavy things on the same side all the time

“Overuse and heavy repetition, while favoring one side, directly impacts nerves, ligaments, and tendons, which, over time, may even develop into chronic conditions,” Kyles says. This is referred to as repetitive strain injury (RRI), which can stem from things like always carrying a child on the same hip, wearing a heavy bag on one shoulder every day, or holding your phone with the same hand. 

The remedy? “Do your body a favor and switch up your routine from time to time,” Kyles says. “Whether you start small by brushing your teeth with the opposite hand or go for gold and buy an ergonomic desk, keeping repetitive strain to a minimum is a must.”

4. Never suck in your stomach

Kyles recommends never doing this—not just for self-love and body acceptance—but also for your overall health and well-being. “Frequently clenching your abdominal wall can tighten the muscles surrounding the diaphragm and cause shallow breathing,” he says. “Shallow breathing is detrimental to the cardiovascular system and can directly affect the digestive system and your metabolic rate.” To ditch the habit of sucking in your stomach, Kyles recommends relaxing your stomach and taking deep belly breaths as often as possible. 

1. Practice deep breathing

Upon waking up, the first thing Dr. Swart does is take 10–20 deep breaths. She focuses on releasing any muscle tension in her body, which helps shift stuck energy and opens her up to be more adaptable and responsive during the day to achieve her goals. 

The reason, she explains, is because deep breathing supports neuroplasticity, which is our brain’s ability to be flexible and learn and grow throughout our life. “Neuroplasticity gives us the power to change our brain—and, therefore, re-invent our life at any age, any stage, or any mindset,” she says. For example, if there’s a habit you want to quit or a goal you want to achieve, neuroplasticity is what enables us to make those changes instead of staying stuck in our old patterns or ways of thinking. 

“Mindful breathing can also reduce the size of the amygdala, which promotes stress reduction effects. The amygdala is the part of the brain that detects if you are in danger and activates the fight or flight response,” certified breathwork teacher Ana Lilia previously told Well + Good. “When you practice diaphragmatic breathing, you activate your parasympathetic nervous system and go into the ‘rest and digest’ mode, which helps lower your blood pressure and cortisol levels.”

2. Visualize your goals

If you don’t already have a vision board, or as Dr. Swart calls them, “action boards,” carve out some time to create one. “An action board is a collage, made by hand or digitally, with literal or metaphorical representations of what we desire in life,” she says. As part of her daily practice, she uses her action board, which she keeps by her bed, to visualize the images on the board already being true. 

It’s more than just visualizing, though. The key is to engage the body and feel what it feels like for those desires to be real with all of your senses. “Looking at these images daily, visualizing them being true, experiencing what that feels like, and giving gratitude for it primes the brain to notice and grasp opportunities in the real world to make these goals come true,” Dr. Swart explains. 

The brain does this through selective attention and value tagging. “Selective attention is literally paying attention, or noticing, the things that are relevant to you thriving, not just surviving,” Dr. Swart says. “Value tagging is how the brain tags things in order of importance, and the visual triggers from the action board have an impact on this versus just going out into the world with no clear imagery of what you truly want.”

3. Spend time in nature

“I walk outdoors in nature, or do barefoot walking as often as I can, both for movement and oxygenation, but also for the incredible brain and body benefits of spending time in nature: improved mood, lower stress, increased attention, less anxiety,” Dr. Swart says. Since sunlight also helps improve mood and boost energy and movement, in general, is great for mental and physical health, you can reap many benefits with this daily practice. Bonus points if you also do some tree hugging.  

4. Write a gratitude list

Dr. Swart lists 10 things she’s grateful for every day. She advises listing internal resources you’re grateful for, such as resilience, creativity, or vulnerability, along with gratitude for the things you want as if they’re already true. “This shifts the brain from fear—stress hormone cortisol—to love/trust—oxytocin and dopamine—allowing us to take healthy risks rather than hold back and stay stuck,” she explains. If you’re new to having a gratitude practice, consider using a gratitude journal with built-in prompts to help get those gratitude juices flowing. 

5. Silence the mind

Another practice Dr. Swart incorporates into her daily routine is creating time and space to quiet her mind, which helps induce creativity in the brain. “I spend some time regularly just ‘being’ rather than doing and allowing my mind to wander,” she says. “Mind wandering shifts the brain from ‘control mode,’ which is switched on to task focus, toward the ‘default mode,’ which is to do with idea generation, out of the box problem solving, and creative thinking.”