That said, if you’re someone who believes in signs and looks for them in your daily life when navigating new opportunities and challenges, be sure to keep an eye out for the number 555 and all variations of it (including the solo angel number 5). You might see it on the clock, as part of a phone number that randomly pops up on your caller ID, or at the bottom of your HomeGoods receipt.

Whatever the case may be: Those three numbers could be a sign that your guardian angels are reaching out with a message. That’s the notion behind angel numbers—a phenomenon that has captivated TikTokers, garnering over 1.5 billion mentions of the phrase. Intrigued? Keep reading to learn what angel number 555 meaning could imply for your life.

What is the meaning of angel number 5?

Let’s take a beat before diving directly into the meaning of angel number 555. After all, the digit it’s comprised of plays a role, too.

“In numerology, the number five means change, liberation, and freedom from restrictions and chaos,” says numerologist, astrologist, and tarot reader Vannessa Williams, of Beyond Your Sun Sign. In that sense, the number five is all about leaning into new beginnings without fear of what could go wrong. Now, let’s chat angel number 555.

What is the meaning of angel number 555?

Like its single-digit sister, angel number 555 is all about ch-ch-ch-changes. “The angel number 555 [is telling you to] get ready for changes,” Williams says. “These changes will impact your duties and responsibilities.”

With this in mind, seeing angel number 555 could be a sign that a shift is on the horizon in your career or personal life and could incorporate everything from layoffs and promotions to breakups and new flames. That’s the thing about angel number 555: It’s not necessarily a sign that something is coming that you’ll be thrilled about; rather, it’s a reminder that a transition is en route and it acts as a reassurance that no matter what it is, you’ll survive it and discover something even better suited for you on the other side.

“These changes will feel chaotic but they are a necessary change for your highest good,” Williams assures us.

(Need a constant reminder that change is good? Consider adding the Child of Wild 555 Angel Energy Necklace ($68) to your accessories wardrobe.)

What to do if you see angel number 5 everywhere

“Buckle up!” Williams exclaims, encouraging us to prepare for change while actively leaning into it, as opposed to resisting it. While your initial reaction to the idea of change may be to cringe, if you see the number five frequently throughout your day, know that it’s a message from your guardian angels (or the universe) to embrace and make the most of it because it will all work out for the best.

“The number five is encouraging you to take a leap of faith,” says numerologist Joy Woodward, author of A Beginner’s Guide to Numerology. Only you can decide if you’re willing to trust the process and yourself to move forth with angel number 555 as your guide.

What is the significance of the date 5/5?

Just like on license plates, receipts, clocks, and GPS screens, repeating numbers in dates are something to be cognizant of. In the case of May 5 (5/5), Williams says it’s normal to feel an urge to start something new and fulfilling in your life.

“On 5/5, we will feel a collective inspiration to enact changes that lead to freedom,” she says. “These changes can be disguised as a magnified new beginning, but at the core, it is a liberation.”

Want proof that new beginnings manifest on 5/5? On 5/5/1921, Coco Chanel released Chanel No. 5, a fragrance that remains a classic over 100 years later.

Now the only question is, how will you move forward with the power of 555?

Encouragement to do things that truly replenish her physically, mentally, and emotionally will be the most welcome gift for any mom figure in your life. Ahead are 44 self-care Mother’s Day gift ideas to get you started.

The best self-care Mother’s Day gifts at a glance:

• Best spa gift: The Now Gift Card, starting at $50
• Best at-home massage gift: Nekteck Shiatsu Neck and Back Massager with Soothing Heat, $50
• Best postpartum gift: Bodily Care for Birth Box, $89
• Best skin-care gift: OSEA Anti-Aging Skincare Duo, $148
• Best haircare gift: GHD Duet Style 2-in-1 Hot Air Styler, $399
• Best luxury beauty gift: Dr. Dennis Gross DRx SpectraLite FaceWare Pro, $455
• Best bath gift: Spa Prive Bath Pillow, $20
• Best gift for the home: Creekside Farms Seasonal Wreath Subscription, $328
• Best foodie gift: Brightland The Artist Capsule, $150
• Best beverage gift: Figlia Non-Alcoholic Aperitivo, $43
• Best clothing gift: Minnetonka Berkyn Booties, $50
• Best fitness gift: ClassPass Gift Card, choose your amount

Wellness gifts:

The Now Gift Card — $50.00

On top of getting Mom a gift card for a relaxing massage, this gesture should come with a ride to the nearest parlor to make sure she uses it. That won’t be an issue if you gift credit to The Now, which is a series of unfussy (but still luxe) massage boutiques that began in Los Angeles but have now spread across the country in over 130 locations.

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Slow North Neck Wrap — $54.00

You may think you’re hunched over your phone and laptop at all hours of the day—but add a child to the mix? Mom’s in a perpetual state of hunched-ness, so this neck wrap can be a literal warm welcome to ease her body. While she could technically throw some frozen peas at the problem, we love that these wraps are hand-made in Austin, Texas, and can be warmed up in the microwave for heat therapy (in around one minute!) or cooled in the freezer for cold therapy. The handles make it easy to apply anywhere she’s achy and the prints make the whole thing a bit more personal.

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The Fullest Warm Feelings Sachets — $46.00

If you can’t be there in person, these latte powders are essentially a big hug in a cup. The caffeine-free mix includes saffron, coconut water powder, cardamom, and tapioca; once warmed up, the whole thing smells so good you’ll be lucky if you can eek out a sachet for yourself when you come to visit.

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Hot Water Bottle Rubber with Soft Cover — $13.00

A classic form of body ache relief is a rubber hot water bottle, and if she already has one, spice up her routine with a new slipcover. This under-$15 gift looks way more expensive than it actually costs, and it has a large anti-leak stopper so she can rest dry and easy.

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Nekteck Shiatsu Neck and Back Massager with Soothing Heat — $50.00

While we’re all for personalization when it comes to Mother’s Day gifts, there’s nothing wrong with taking hints from the crowd for a guaranteed hit. This Nekteck massager is one of the top-selling wellness and relaxation products on Amazon, with over 36,000 five-star reviews. Customers applaud its ability to soothe herniated disc issues, provide relief from neck stiffness, and subsequently improve their range of motion.

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Intelligent Change Night Notes Journal — $20.00

Whether she’s going through postpartum changes, perimenopause, menopause, or just the general business of having a uterus, hormone-induced insomnia is real. This journal will help her clear her mind before sleep, whether she’s writing down tomorrow’s to-dos, penning brilliant midnight ideas, or recalling her dreams.

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Moon Juice Magnesi-Om — $42.00

Mom’s way of unwinding may be with her fingers wrapped around something warm and inviting, so throw Moon Juice’s Magnesi-Om into the mix to really get the relaxation going. The pink powder tastes as good as it looks (a subtle berry flavor) and can help with things like sluggishness, irritability, or general aches and pains.

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Bodily Care for Birth Box — $89.00

When putting together a registry or baby shower list, one of the most forgotten items is a little something for the soon-to-be mom. (And, yes, you can absolutely gift the pregnant woman in your life a Mother’s Day gift!) This box contains everything the new mom will need to take care of her body and ensure she doesn’t forget to take care of herself in the early postpartum weeks.

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Beauty gifts:

Chanel, Rouge Coco Ultra Hydrating Lipstick — $45.00

Full, creamy coverage that never leaves lips dry—there’s a reason why Chanel lipstick is so coveted (and iconic). Not to mention, the colors are classically vibrant (our favorite is the orange-red Coco) and long-lasting. Functionality aside, it’s always fun to receive a lil’ gift with those two iconic, intertwined Cs on the label. It’s not something Mom would likely buy herself, so treat her to something special (we promise she’ll love it endlessly).

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Paume Overnight Hydration Gloves — $14.00

Have her hands seen better days? These hydrating gloves from Paume are made of soft organic cotton and, when paired with a restorative balm, can work wonders for dry, cracked, and overworked hands overnight. Yes, really. Side effects include not being able to tap away at her phone before bed, which is plus in our book.

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Chillhouse The Chill Line Chill Tips — $16.00

If Mom laments not having enough time to get her nails done, give her some easy-to-use press-ons for a near-instant manicure. We like Chill Tips because they come in minimalist designs, are easy to use, and look just like a gel mani without the wait (or price tag).

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OSEA Miracle Moisture Trio — $64.00

A hallmark of aging skin is dryness, and if she’s been looking to get her glow back, stop her search with this simple duo from OSEA (a woman—and mom—owned beauty brand). It includes a serum that restores the skin’s moisture barrier and a rich cream that softens and smoothes out the skin. Each product smells like the dreamiest ocean breeze, with a hydrating wear that feels like silk.

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Wonder Valley Serum & Stone — $132.00

A first-thing self-care ritual can do wonders, and if she’s into skin care, she’ll love starting a Gua Sha practice. This set actually comes from a brand that specializes in oils, which is a natural segue into lymphatic drainage. The serum is a mix of botanical oils that creates a comfortable, hydrated surface; the stone of choice is Mookaite Jasper, which is said to have cleansing and balancing properties.

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Hatch Mama Must-Haves Kit — $128.00

Whether the expecting mom on your gift list is into beauty or doesn’t have any semblance of a routine, she’ll appreciate this pregnancy self-care gift set. It includes simple necessities that are safe for Mama and (soon to be earthside) Baby, like a nourishing belly oil, a cooling cream, and a protective lip and nipple balm that she can use now and later.

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GHD Duet Style 2-in-1 Hot Air Styler — $399.00

Meet the ultimate time-saver in hair styling; particularly if Mom has wavy or curly hair that she prefers to wear straight. With this Hot Air Styler, she won’t have to wait until her hair is dried to begin using—or worse, blow dry and then straighten. It’ll leave her with a bouncy blow-out style without the sputtering or frying that comes with flat ironing her hair before she ought to.

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Westman Atelier The Petal Edition Set — $134.00

Westman Atelier is a beauty line founded by legendary makeup artist Gucci Westman. The products work on everyone, but especially for those with more mature skin and less time to get ready. This set—inspired by Westman’s daughter, Petal—includes a multi-purpose blush stick, a luxurious lip balm, and a highlighter, all in rose-pink hues that’ll impart a bouncy, juicy-looking glow to Mom’s face.

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Kitsch Satin Pillowcase for Hair & Skin — $19.00

Keep the good hair day going and going with a satin pillowcase from Kitsch. Not only are these silk-soft places to rest her skin on, but they can help ward off hair breakage (especially if she does partake in frequent heat-styling).

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Summer Fridays The Vault — $375.00

The bag speaks for itself. Gift her the ultimate at-home self-care set with Summer Fridays’ “vault” of products. The set includes 11 best-selling products that’ll give love to Mom’s skin from head to toe. She’ll get full sizes of everything from Summer Fridays’ now-classic Jet Lag Mask to its new Lip Butter Balm.

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Jillian Dempsey Gold Sculpting Bar — $195.00

If she tends to favor beauty tips from her favorite actresses, gift mom this celeb-loved Jillian Dempsey Gold Sculpting Bar. It’s a preferred face-contouring tool of Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston, Alicia Keys, and even Dempsey’s husband (yep!) McDreamy (Patrick Demspey) himself.

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Dr. Dennis Gross DRx SpectraLite Dpl FaceWare Pro — $455.00

LED light therapy has been proven to be beneficial to the skin in a number of ways: diminishing fine lines and wrinkles, warding off acne, and reducing inflammation, to name just a few. If you’ve got a big budget to bestow on Mom, this trusted mask from Dr. Dennis Gross is all but guaranteed to be put to use each day.

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Dedcool, Hand + Body Wash in "Milk" — $28.00

Upgrade her $5 body wash for something more luxurious—like with Dedcool’s Hand and Body Wash in the perfume brand’s best-selling scent, “Milk.” With notes of bergamot, amber, and musk, the best way we can describe the scent is “expensive,” but in a totally unpretentiously way. Gentle ingredients leave skin supple, smooth, and ultra clean.

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SK-II Facial Treatment Essence — $190.00

This celeb-beloved treatment essence is worth the hype. Formulated with the Japanese brand’s proprietary base ingredient, Pitera (a bio-ingredient that comes from yeast fermentation, designed to mimic your skin’s natural pH levels and has more than 50 nutrients like amino acids and minerals) works overtime to brighten dark spots, hydrate, and smooth out fine lines.

 

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Home gifts:

Creekside Farms Seasonal Wreath Subscription — $328.00

Flowers are great, but you know what’s even better? A subscription of wreaths that’ll welcome Mom and her guests with each season. This may be one of the most memorable gifts for any home enthusiast, but especially any mom figure who will think of you whenever she opens or closes her front door.

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Tekla Set of Three Striped Organic Cotton Towels — $155.00

There’s nothing quite like frayed towel edges finding their way around your toes to completely snap you out of a relaxing shower experience. These organic cotton towels are as soft as they are beautiful, and will instantly add some pizzazz to her bathroom decor.

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Cozy Earth Waffle Bath Robe — $170.00

Robes are a classic Mother’s Day gift for a reason. They’re as comfortable as a practical object can be— especially if you get one from the Oprah-loved brand, Cozy Earth. These waffle bath robes are made of viscose from bamboo which means they feel the opposite of dry and scratchy.

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Lollia Imagine Bubble Bath — $70.00

Another trademark Mother’s Day gift is bubbly, for the bath. This is a top-rated item at Anthropologie because the vessel for the bubble bath is a visual gift, whether she puts it to use or not.

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Spa Prive Bath Pillow — $20.00

If Mom is an avid bath-taker (good on her), then she’s probably been dreaming of a bath pillow to keep her comfortably propped up or languidly reposed during her favorite time of day.

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Edie Parker Egg Pipe — $60.00

This isn’t your mama’s pipe—figuratively speaking, of course. This Edie Parker egg pipe is at the intersection of decor and practicality for cannabis lovers and will help her take Mom’s Day to new heights.

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The Citizenry Stonewashed Linen Sheet Set — $289.00

Does Mom get night sweats? A set of linen sheets will help keep her cool—and look beautiful on her bed whether they’re done or undone. These sheets from The Citizenry are made in Portugal with a stone-washing method, which means they’re already broken in and primed for her most comfortable snoozes yet.

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Newton Baby Pregnancy Pillow — $80.00

If you think you’re the most supportive thing in her life, guess again. A pregnancy pillow is another need for soon-to-be moms, and this one provides crucial support for her back and belly as she gets bigger. Newton (which specializes in baby mattresses) created a breathable pillow with extra memory foam that can be used now for side sleeping, and later as a regular body pillow.

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Hatch Restore Sunrise Alarm Clock — $130.00

Yes, she may have given you a few rude awakenings when you were a moody teenager, but you can help Mom wake easily with the Hatch Restore (so much more than an) Alarm Clock. She can stream meditations, sound baths, and more on the clock, as well as adjust the lighting to transport her to faraway mountaintops and seasides.

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Fable The Speckled Vase — $70.00

No Mother’s Day would be complete without flowers, and since you’re going to buy her some (set your reminder now) add a beautiful vase that she can reuse for her own arrangements. We love this jumbo ceramic vessel from Fable that’s suitable for the biggest, most glorious bouquets her dining room table can handle.

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Diptyque Limited Edition Cherry Blossom Candle — $74.00

Mother’s Day always falls on the most springy of spring days, which makes us want to run out and buy the nearest bouquet. But what’s better than a bouquet (and longer-lasting)? A candle that smells like spring. And not just spring, but cherry blossoms. Diptyque’s newest scent is an ode to cherry blossom trees, and it’s a clean and floral scent she won’t be able to stop sniffing. And when she’s done, the empty glass makes for a gorgeous makeup brush holder she can keep forever.

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Coop, The Original Pillow — $60.00

The W+G editors have been sleeping on Coop pillows for months, and we’re not being hyperbolic when we say our sleep has improved tenfold. Made of memory foam (which you can customize) and microfiber, the Coop Original pillow is great for head and neck support without being stiff. The Lulltra cover is machine washable, and Mom can rest easy that it’s Greenguard Gold and CertiPur-US-certified.

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Food gifts:

Cometeer Coffee Gift Box — $79.00

The art of pour-over may have never been her thing, but if she appreciates a solid cup of coffee, Cometeer is all she needs. The company partners with reputable roasters from all over the globe to create highly potent (and delicious) frozen coffee drops that instantly melt in water, but can also be brewed as ice coffee if she wants.

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Uncommon Goods Heart-Shaped Tea Bags — $36.00

For some, self-care doesn’t happen unless there’s tea involved. These blends (five each of English Breakfast, Earl Grey, and White Berry) come in cute heart-shaped bags that are guaranteed to make her smile.

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Le Creuset Mini Cocotte With Heart Knob — $32.00

If she’s already a fan of Le Creuset, build out her collection (and keep the heart theme going) with a cute as heck cocotte for her best-ever casseroles.

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Brightland The Artist Capsule — $150.00

There’s a time for bargain olive oil and there’s a time for fancy olive oil, and the latter is the only appropriate situation for Mother’s Day. Brightland makes inventive blends that you can bet Mom will almost certainly dub “the good oil” and may be so precious about them that she won’t even withstand opening the bottles. That’s okay, they’ll sit pretty on her counter in the meantime.

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Caraway Nonstick Ceramic Cookware Set (12 Piece) — $395.00

Name a more frustrating cooking situation than non-stick pans that stick. It’s impossible! Self-care in the kitchen really does mean getting a set of pans that don’t require an arm workout après dinner and you’ll be hard-pressed to find any that are quite as beautiful and functional as the ones from Caraway.

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Figlia Non-Alcoholic Aperitivo — $43.00

Has Mom always been more of an aperitif kind of gal, or is she extending Dry January through the rest of the year? Introduce her to Figlia. The ruby red drink has notes of orange, ginger, clove, and chamomile, for a sip that’s as comforting as it is invigorating.

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Apparel gifts:

Lunya Off Duty Kit ​​ — $197.00

You know your mom better than anyone, so why not pick out her ultimate sleeping attire? With this customizable set from Lunya, you can choose the perfect long-sleeve and pant combination for Mom.

Sizes available: XS-XL (top and bottoms)
Colors: Brown, blue, black, grey, white
Material: Organic pima cotton

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The M Jewelers Double Pave Butterfly Necklace — $100.00

Was your childhood filled with mommy-and-me outfits? This double pave necklace will be a nice homage to simpler times. The piece features a small and large crystal butterfly on gold vermeil chains.

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Minnetonka Berkyn Booties — $25.00

Slippers are a foolproof gift on Mother’s Day, but if she needs a pair that provides a bit more coverage so she can wear them outside of the house, Minnetonka’s Brekyn shoes are the one. They’re so popular that they’re hard to find in-stock, but we get it. A boot that wears as comfortably as a sock, with a cute faux-shearling exterior? We’ll take a pair for ourselves.

Sizes available: Women’s 5 – 10
Colors: Pink, navy, and golden tan
Material: Polyester faux-shearling upper with a rubber sole

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Parks Project Night Flower Friends Crewneck — $59.00

Originally $82, now $60

Parks Project is like a gigantic love letter to the States’ national parks—find cozy hoodies, crew necks, tees, mugs, and candles designed in homage to the great natural beauties like Yosemite, Joshua Tree, Yellowstone, and more. Every purchase gives back to the National Parks, so if your mom is a big hiker and nature lover, she’ll love the cause. And she’ll also love how luxurious and soft this vintage-style crewneck will feel (the more you wash it, the softer it gets!).

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Birdies, The Starling — $130.00

Mom’s feet deserve the best—which is why we’ll always recommend a pair of Birdies, which feature seven-layer comfort (what the brand is known for) and a plush fit. They’re like slippers disguised as flats: Wear them to brunch, on errands, or around the house—they’re versatile like that (and come in tons of colors, patterns, and materials).

Sizes available: 5-12

Colors: 12+

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Fitness gifts:

Hilma Running Shoes — $159.00

It can be hard to give shoes you know she needs as a surprise, so why not collaborate? Take Mom through Hilma’s fit quiz and get her a pair of running shoes that you’ll both know she’ll love.

Sizes available: Up to 45 size variations
Colors: Green, grey, purple
Material: Sugarcane-based foam and breathable mesh upper

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Pointe Studio Reformer Loop Gift Box — $85.00

Pilates is a workout that people of all ages can participate in, including seniors, since it focuses on balance, strength, and flexibility. This gift box will help mom start or keep her practice going, with grippy socks, a non-slip inflatable ball, and a versatile resistance band that she can use on a mat or reformer.

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Alo Moves Membership — $120.00

Make her on-demand yoga dreams come true with an Alo Moves membership. There are all kinds of classes—from yoga to barre to HIIT workouts and even meditation—that are offered for beginners, intermediate, and advanced practitioners.

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ClassPass Gift Card — $50.00

We know it may seem easy to give a gift card, but this is one Mom is guaranteed to love. She’ll be able to hop around the city to her favorite workouts or try new classes without worrying about spending her credits—and everything is on her time since ClassPass gift cards never expire.

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Lululemon, The Everywhere Belt Bag — $38.00

For the Mom who wants a bag that’ll hold the essentials as she’s on her way to the gym or grocery store: Meet the Lululemon Everywhere Belt Bag. It’s so good, it’s almost always sold out—so snag it while you can. (W+G editors can confirm, it really is worth the cash—it’ll hold all the essentials, plus it has the perfect amount of compartment to keep your stuff organized.)

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The search results included lots of things that Bates didn’t need (like the side effects of the medication, which are listed on the package) and very little by way of information she did need: how people actually felt when taking it and whether those who’d experienced side effects from birth-control pills (like she had) had any issues with it. So, she instinctively turned to the women in her life, both in person and online, for help. The magnitude of the response awed her: People sprang into action, offering their firsthand experiences and advice in spades. These responses left Bates feeling far more comfortable buying and taking emergency contraception than when she was armed with just Google results.

Now, Bates is bottling the unique benefits of social crowdsourcing into the search engine she wishes she’d had then— powered by many, many more friends. Enter: Diem, the “social search engine” that draws on the collective knowledge of women and non-binary folks, as well as artificial intelligence (AI), to create a friendly, informative knowledge hub. Bates and Diem co-founder Divia Singh launched Diem in public beta in October 2021, and after refining through beta testing with thousands of users, they just launched the final product.

How Diem blends AI with community-generated content to offer accurate, applicable info

Designed for women-identifying and non-binary folks in their mid-twenties to early thirties, Diem aims to take all the knowledge, wisdom, and relatable humor that lives in so many individual group chats, organize it in one easily searchable spot, and supercharge that database with AI. The goal is to return simple answers to questions folks pose.

Think of Diem like a mix of Quora, Reddit, and ChatGPT: Users can ask their questions to the community and answer others’ questions, and they’re encouraged to interact to make answers as detailed, funny, personal, and insightful as possible

Think of Diem like a mix of Quora, Reddit, and ChatGPT: Users can ask their questions to the community and answer others’ questions, and they’re encouraged to interact to make answers as detailed, funny, personal, and insightful as possible. At the same time, the AI component collects data from those interactions among Diem users, as well as the broader internet, and uses it all to spin out comprehensive, yet super-relevant answers to questions.

For example, let’s say you want to know about how much it costs to freeze your eggs. You’d type that question into Diem, and the AI component would utilize its broader internet database and Diem user-contributed content to generate both a one-sentence answer and a longer one. And you’d receive both, alongside all the community-generated posts on the topic, in case you were interested in scrolling through them.

In this way, Diem combines the ease of AI with the personalization of knowledge from actual women and non-binary folks—the very kind of anecdotal information and life experiences and gossip often deprioritized by search engines due to bias (more on that below). It’s the combination, Bates says, that makes the information on Diem both useful and directly applicable to people from these communities. “The way we’ve always thought about building is, ‘How can we create a space where you could search for the collective insights of your communities?’” she says. “If you can build collectively with your community, it shapes the voice, data, and experience, and it ends up feeling different.”

The issue of gender bias on search engines and AI platforms

Because gender bias is prevalent in society as a whole, it also exists within internet search-engine algorithms, and fuels the gender information gap. It’s the same gap that Bates confronted when trying to find applicable, relatable information on the morning-after pill in 2018.

As evidence, consider the results of a 2022 study, for which researchers looked to determine whether Google Images searches in countries with higher gender-inequality scores (assessed with the Global Gender Gap Index) would also demonstrate a gender bias. To do so, they conducted a search for the word “person” in the local language of 37 countries in their first study and 52 countries in their second. In all cases, the Google search results in countries with greater levels of societal gender inequality also revealed greater gender disparity (meaning that a higher percentage of the first 100 image results showed a man versus a woman).

New AI bots have also been found to perpetuate gender bias. For example, Bloomberg reported that a computational scientist got ChatGPT to spit out code that said only Asian or white men would make good scientists; the company’s CEO responded to the scientist on Twitter, encouraging users to “thumbs down” such answers in order to help the program learn not to propagate bias.

When I asked ChatGPT a similar question, it said it’s not appropriate to use someone’s gender or race to determine whether they’d excel in a profession. But while it seems like the AI is currently learning to be less biased, it’s still relying on objective, compassionate users to train it to be that way. (Whereas Diem’s AI is largely trained on information created by and for women and non-binary people, and thus isn’t subject to the same issue of anti-women bias from the jump.)

“AI is only as good as the data it’s trained on, and because all humans have bias and prejudice, when their data is used, that bias and prejudice becomes a part of the AI.” —Nina Vasan, MD, psychiatrist

These findings illustrate how the biases we maintain as people naturally transfer to the products we create and the datasets to which we contribute. “AI is only as good as the data it’s trained on, and because all humans have bias and prejudice, when their data is used, that bias and prejudice becomes a part of the AI,” says psychiatrist Nina Vasan, MD, chief medical officer of digital therapy platform Real and founder and executive director of Brainstorm: The Stanford Lab for Mental Health Innovation.

How Diem aims to become a fun, informative search engine specifically for women and non-binary people

Given Diem’s intended user demographic, Bates says she thinks of the information shared on the platform and generated by the chatbot as answers to the questions people have when they’re in the “friend stage” of their lives; people absorb lots of information from friends when they’re in their mid-twenties and early thirties, she says. The idea with Diem is that you’re gaining perspectives from a variety of people of your age and gender identity with whom you may not have otherwise interacted, and that collective understanding benefits everyone on the platform.

Because Diem’s AI is fed with information directly from people of this demographic, it’s a representative platform by design. As of now, thousands of women and non-binary people have asked questions and shared answers on Diem about topics relevant to them, especially in the categories of personal health, money, and relationships—which is where Diem’s AI is best trained.

While it’s still learning, it pulls from a broader proprietary dataset (similar to the one that powers ChatGPT) to find information about questions that people in the community haven’t yet discussed. A point of differentiation, though, is that it still spins out a “summarized Diem-y answer” for these questions, says Bates, using actual Diem convos to inform the answer’s style and tone.

However, because Diem is still an AI relying on both user-generated content and that broader dataset, it is certainly not immune to the problems faced by other search engines and AI chatbots, including false, misleading, and, yes, even biased content. In turn, there’s a button within the app and on the desktop version to report abuse, and the platform has published a set of community guidelines—which promote things like “kindness and curiosity” and “empathetic engagement”—to ensure its users’ safety and the quality of the information.

Diem launches during a time when government officials in both the United States and European Union are exploring ways to regulate AI, largely because of the above concerns. In the U.S. specifically, President Joe Biden’s office released a draft of an AI Bill of Rights in October, a bipartisan group of U.S. senators led by Senator Chuck Schumer is working on legislation to establish guardrails around the industry, and four government agencies released a joint statement last month outlining the powers they hold to regulate the industry more robustly, particularly against discrimination resulting from bias.

But Bates isn’t deterred by entering this landscape. She predicts that there will be an “interesting shift in the future of the internet,” where people will seek out information that caters specifically to where they are in their lives. Rather than asking Google for dating advice, for instance, she hopes you’ll soon go to a platform like Diem, which will give you answers derived from people with a similar lived experience to your own.

“Right now, we exist in monopolies, and that impacts how we use the internet and what we expect of platforms,” says Bates. After all, those monopolies often reflect bias in favor of men. “I think the future of the internet is going to offer more niche experiences,” she says. And who’s to say a niche is necessarily small? As Bates points out, women-identifying folks make up a near equal share of the people on the planet. And now, there’s a giant group chat waiting for their input.

Self-described “soft girls who hike” Emily Thornton and Lucy Hird are two UK-based women chronicling their journeys exploring the nature of Great Britain on their TikTok account with the philosophy that “hiking doesn’t have to be hard.”

The idea of “softness” has taken over TikTok as an aesthetic and POV. It’s about leaning into what feels good, taking time for yourself, and nourishing your body and soul. Thornton and Hird apply the soft idea to hiking, reframing the activity from a type of hyper-athletic, achievement-oriented activity, to one that’s accessible to someone with the motivation “simply to enjoy ourselves,” and so coining the term “soft hiking.”

“Soft hiking is about the pure joy of spending time in nature and moving your body,” the soft girls who hike say in an explainer video. “It’s important to take breaks, eat, and actually take in your surroundings. Make some time to go off trail and be present in the moment. There’s no need to rush.”

The soft hike is akin to the hot girl walk and the exploding popularity of walking in general as a form of movement that’s not about burning a certain amount of calories or achieving any particular aesthetic goals.

“I think it’s extraordinary,” says walking expert Joyce Shulman, the co-founder and CEO of the app 99 Walks and author of Walk Your Way to Better, 99 Walks that Will Change Your Life. “What happened during the pandemic and post-pandemic is that people are really recognizing what I call the transformative power of an intentional walking practice.”

Shulman says soft hiking has all the benefits, and then some, of that intentional walking practice. Frankly, there are too many benefits of walking to list, but some highlights include promoting longevity, bone strength, cardiovascular and brain health, boosting creativity, and alleviating symptoms of depression. Walking promotes “feel good” hormones like serotonin, while lowering cortisol.

“A lot of the mental and emotional benefits, I believe, come from when we step away from our computers, our phones, our obligations, and give ourselves the opportunity to really clear our minds,” Shulman says.

Which is exactly what soft hiking does. It’s not about pushing yourself or achieving something. Maybe you’re even somewhere without cellphone service. The purpose is to appreciate your surroundings and move your body.

You can do that anywhere, whether it’s a mountain range or your own neighborhood. But being in nature has the scientifically-proven benefits of reducing stress. Soft hiking is also a form of taking “awe walks,” which have been shown to boost happiness and feelings of wellbeing.

“In order to experience an awe walk, you have to be willing to slow down enough to take it all in,” Shulman says. Taking your time just happens to be one of the tenets of soft hiking.

It might not appeal to everyone at first, especially when hiking has a rap as something difficult that’s only accessible to the hyper-fit people who can scale mountains, or privileged groups with more ready access to nature and hiking equipment. But soft hiking expands the idea of who a hiker is, so that more people can experience the activity.

“I’ve always thought that if you see yourself as a hiker, as someone who hikes, it just kind of opens up all of these opportunities to take your walk off road,” Shulman says. “Once you embrace that identity, think about all the places you can go.”

What does it mean when you’re losing teeth in a dream? According to dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg, author of Dream on It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life, because of the location of one’s pearly whites inside the mouth, the main theme of teeth-related dreams tends to be rooted in communication: “Any dream that focuses on the mouth area—the lips, teeth, tongue, or throat—will usually be about the way you’re talking to yourself or the way you’ve been communicating lately in real life,” she says.

How to figure out what a dream about teeth falling out means for you

If experiencing a dream where your teeth are falling out makes you honestly wish you just didn’t have dreams, or freaks you out to the point where your sleeping heart rate soars, know that it’s important to consider the context of any dream before taking a deep dive into its potential significance.

According to astrologer and dream interpreter Stephanie Gailing, author of The Complete Book of Dreams, two people could have the same dream and experience different responses within the dream or afterward—which would affect its potential meaning. “You might have been laughing, and I might have been in horror,” she says.

Tuning into additional context in a dream about teeth falling out can help you better understand its meaning for you (even if you can’t necessarily control your behavior in the dream, as in lucid dreaming). For example, are you pulling your teeth right out in the dream, or are you making a beeline to the closest subconscious dentist? The former might reflect a sense of agency or action (or loss thereof), and the latter, a feeling of fear or a concern about your looks.

“Dreams are pretty much our built-in GPS, guiding us and navigating us through life.” —Lauri Loewenberg, dream analyst

To fully interpret any dream, Loewenberg says you should also be attuned to how you feel about the dream once you wake up. “Dreams are pretty much our built-in GPS, guiding us and navigating us through life,” she says. “They are messages from you, to you, about you—in order to improve you.”

With that in mind, keep reading for three possible meanings of a dream where your teeth are falling out and four common types of dreams where this happens.

3 possible meanings of a dream where your teeth are falling out

1. Rebirth and transformation

When kids lose a tooth, they’re making room for another, hopefully stronger, tooth to grow. Having a dream where your teeth are falling out, then, might signal that you’re releasing the old to welcome the new, says Gailing.

2. Loss of control

Teeth are an essential part of the body for such fundamental human behaviors as chewing, eating, and speaking. Without them, you lose autonomy over all of the above. That’s why Gailing says that having a dream where your teeth fall out might indicate that you feel like you’re losing a grip in your waking life.

3. Concern about public image

“Imagine a dream where you’re about to go on a date or do a job interview, and your teeth are falling out,” says Gailing. Here, it’s likely that you’re concerned about how your date or interviewer will see you if you have missing teeth. “Maybe that’s also indicating that you are concerned about how you’re portraying yourself or your looks [in your waking life],” she says.

It’s also possible that teeth falling out in a dream could reflect you having said something without thinking first, adds Loewenberg, which could also signal that you’re worried about how you’re being perceived by others.

4 common versions of the teeth falling out dream

1. You want to take back something you said

Wishing you hadn’t said something in real life might take the dream form of you trying to jam your falling teeth back into your mouth.

“A common thought pattern is, ‘Oh, my God—I’m going to look like hell without my teeth,’ which is connected to the waking-life concern of how you may look now that you’ve said something [unideal],” says Loewenberg. Even if you’re not exactly concerned about how you’ll look physically, you may have concerns about how others will perceive you.

2. You’re gossiping

If a lot of your teeth are falling out, and in that dream, you get the sense that this shouldn’t be happening, that might mean that you talk about others more than you know you should. In this case, says Loewenberg, your subconscious is “reprimanding you” and asking why you let certain information out of your mouth. It’s likely that the more teeth that are falling out, the more you’ve said that you should’ve kept to yourself, she adds.

3. You want to “fix” a situation

If your teeth falling out in a dream prompts thoughts about how you can fix your smile, you might be looking to repair a situation or relationship in your daily life. “If you’re thinking, ‘How am I going to get my teeth fixed?,’ that could be connected to a real-life concern about how you’ll double-back on a mistake or remedy a problem,” says Loewenberg.

4. You struggle to keep your thoughts to yourself

In this dream, your teeth are loose, and you’re trying all you can to hold them in place. They haven’t exactly fallen out yet, but they’re dangerously close to doing so.

If your dream thought process is along the lines of, Maybe if I press my tongue against my teeth hard enough, they’ll stay in place, the dream might indicate that you can resolve an issue in your waking life if you “keep your mouth shut long enough,” says Loewenberg.

Since your teeth are still in your mouth in this case, the dream might also mean that there’s something on your mind that you really want to say but haven’t yet or that you know you shouldn’t say, or that you’re trying to figure out the best way to say something, adds Loewenberg.

Frequently asked questions about dreams where your teeth are falling out

What do teeth symbolize in dreams?

Teeth don’t hold one specific meaning, so their presence in a dream can have many interpretations. Because they’re the first step in digestion and help us break food into manageable bites, they can symbolize the ability to have agency or discernment, or the capacity for transformation, says Gailing.

Separately, she adds that teeth can also symbolize how someone wants to appear to others, and that they’re associated with the stages of life and aging.

What does it mean to dream about your front tooth chipping?

The front teeth often symbolize your ability to be forthright about something, says Loewenberg, so a chipped front tooth in a dream could mean that there’s something on your mind that you need to express, but that you’re holding back because you’re afraid of the consequences of doing so.

A dream that includes a front tooth chipping could also mean that “perhaps you did speak up about [something controversial] and now have a concern about how you’ll appear to others,” says Loewenberg. “Or, you may feel like you didn’t make your point strongly enough because a chipped tooth is also a weakened tooth.”

Is it good luck to dream about your teeth falling out?

According to Gailing, dreaming about your teeth falling out isn’t likely an indicator of luck. It may mean that you’re doubting your ability to manage your life or that circumstances are changing beyond your ability to manage them. Change can certainly signal growth and a more positive outcome down the line, but in the mean time, teeth falling out in a dream is more likely to symbolize a loss of control than it is luck.

“It’s important to support and read books written by AAPI authors because it amplifies their voices and experiences, which may be different from ones we have been taught in school or exposed to in the media,” says Magdalene Lim, a bookseller at Yu and Me Books. The bookstore, which opened in December of 2021 and became New York’s first Asian-American, woman-owned bookstore, became a space to share immigrant stories while bringing visibility to AAPI authors. By reading books by AAPI authors, “it also helps to challenge the dominant narratives that have been perpetuated in literature and media for so long.”

From memoirs that explore themes of family, love, and community to thrilling fiction, these impassioned books help us learn and connect with each other. Without further ado, go check out these stand-out reads.

"Who Is Wellness For" by Fariha Róisín — $19.00

What it’s about:

In Who Is Wellness For (published in 2022) Fariha Róisín investigates the commodification and appropriation of wellness, while examining her own journey. Part-memoir, Róisín also details her journey of gender dysmorphia, fatphobia, and chronic illness. Who Is Wellness For confronts the imbalances in health, healing, and provides a path forward that is inclusive for all.

Who is Fariha Róisín?

Based in Ontario, Canada, Fariha Róisín is a Muslim queer Bangladeshi artist. Her work expands across disciplines, from writing to poetry, and her work catalyzes conversations about wellness, queer identity, and contemporary Islam.

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"Beautiful Country" by Qian Julie Wang — $13.00

What it’s about:

A New York Times bestseller, Beautiful Country (published in 2021) portrays a vivid account of Qian Julie Wang’s experience living in America as an undocumented child, helping her family navigate through the health-care system, and coming of age in one of the richest countries in the world while living in poverty. It’s a story about resilience, hardship, and the immigrant experience.

Who is Qian Julie Wang?

Beyond being a New York Times bestselling author, Qian Julie Wang is a civil rights litigator and managing partner at Gottlieb & Wang, LLP. Her writing and litigation work centers around advocating for historically excluded communities.

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"All My Rage" by Sabaa Tahir — $10.00

What it’s about:

In this novel (published in 2022), Sabaa Tahir writes a profound and emotionally moving story about three main characters: Misbah, Salahudin, and Noor. Misbah is an immigrant struggling to run her motel business; Salahudin is Misbah’s son and is trying to fit in during his last year of high school; Noor, Salahudin’s best friend, wants to desperately go to college to leave her small town. Their stories are beautifully woven together to tell a story about truth, forgiveness, and love in the Pakistani community.

Who is Sabaa Tahir? 

Sabaa Tahir is a Pakistani American author and novelist based in San Francisco. She’s best known for her New York Times bestselling book An Ember in the Ashes. In 2022, she won the National Book Award for All of My Rage.

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"Crying in H Mart" by Michelle Zauner — $25.00

What it’s about:

Crying in H Mart (published in 2021) is a tear-jerking memoir about musician Michelle Zauner’s journey with grief, food, and love. After losing her mother to cancer, Zauner reckons with her Korean identity, upbringing in Eugene, Oregon, and finds a way to reclaim her identity through memories of her mom, cooking, and heaping plates of food.

Who is Michelle Zauner? 

Beyond her beautiful and vulnerable writing, Michelle Zauner hits her notes as the lead vocalist of the alternative pop band Japanese Breakfast. Identifying as a Korean American, Zauner was raised in Eugene, Oregon where she grew her love for all things music. The musician ballooned to fame after her 2016 hit album “Psychopomp.”

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"The Making of Asian America" by Erika Lee — $15.00

What it’s about:

A historical account of the past 50 years, The Making of Asian America (published in 2016) shows how generations of Asian immigrants and American-born descendants have shaped the history of the nation, from community activism to the struggle of overcoming racism. This book brings the histories of Asian people in the United States to the forefront.

Who is Erika Lee?

Lee is an award-winning historian and author, and serves as the director of Immigration History Research Center at the University of Minnesota. When she’s not teaching, she testifying before Congress about anti-Asian discrimination and violence.

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"Arsenic and Adobo" by Mia P. Manansala — $16.00

What it’s about:

In the middle of a horrible breakup, Lila Macapagal moves back home to save her auntie’s failing restaurant. But when a nasty food critic, who happens to be Lila’s ex-boyfriend, drops dead after a confrontation with Lila, Lila’s life is quickly thrown for a swerve. Left with no choice, Lila has to investigate the death on her own. Mia P. Manansala marries a story of humor, mystery, and thrills onto the chopping block of this novel (published in 2021).

Who is Mia P. Manansala? 

Hailing from the 312, aka Chicago, Manansala is a writer and book coach who turned her love for baking into words. Her work encompasses themes of Filipino identity, pop culture, and queerness. Outside writing, Manansala is a pet mom to two doggies: Gumiho and Max Power.

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"Have You Eaten Yet?" by Cheuk Kwan — $24.00

What it’s about:

For decades, Chinese restaurants across the globe have been the epicenter of community, immigration, and of course, delicious food. In Cheuk Kwan’s book (published in January, 2023), he brings the personal stories of chefs, entrepreneurs, and dreamers across the globe to life in this travelogue. Kwan reminds us that behind every meal, there’s always a backstory.

Who is Cheuk Kwan? 

Born and raised in Hong Kong, Cheuk Kwan now resides in Toronto and serves as the co-founder of The Asianadian, a magazine dedicated to advancing the understanding of art, politics, and culture of the Asian Canadian community. When he’s not publishing content, he’s sharing his love for travel and Chinese culture through cinema.

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"Stay True" by Hua Hsu — $24.00

What it’s about:

If you’re looking for a gripping memoir to read, Stay True (published in 2022) is a story about friendship, grief, and the search of self and solace through art. When Ken, who befriends Hsu, is tragically killed in a carjacking, Hsu tries to make sense of his life and embraces his search for meaning and belonging.

Who is Hua Hsu? 

Based in the Big Apple, Hsu is a writer and professor of English at Bard College. His investigative work explores topics of immigrant culture in the United States as well as perceptions of diversity and multiculturalism. He’s also a staff writer at The New Yorker, where he’s served as a contributor since 2014.

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"I Want To Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki" by Baek Sehee — $22.00

What it’s about:

Using reflective micro-essays, Baek Sehee shares her intimate conversations with her psychiatrist in this part memoir, part self-help book (published in 2022). She unveils her behaviors and thoughts that kept her in a viscous cycle of harmful behaviors. For anyone who has felt alone or struggled with hopelessness, this is a book you’ll want to keep on your bookshelf to come back to over and over.

Who is Baek Sehee? 

Sehee is a South Korean creative writer. After being diagnosed with dysthymia, which is persistent mild depression, Sehee began working on essays inspired by her therapy sessions. When she’s not writing, she loves to munch on tteokbokki, aka spicy rice cakes (yum).

 

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"Halo Halo" by Justine Ramos — $14.00

What it’s about:

Halo Halo (published in 2021) by Justine Ramos is a poetic bite of history, identity, revolution, and food. Through slam style poetry, readers get a glimpse into Ramos’ navigation of her Philipinx identity and experience with immigration, juggling cultural identities, and holding onto her native tongue. Above the poetry, there’s an underlying message that revolution and growth are possible.

Who is Justine Ramos? 

A first-generation Philipinx immigrant, Ramos is a poet, mentor, and award winner of LA’s Youth Poet Laureate Program. After finishing up her degree in English and global health from UCLA, she received her doctoral degree in occupational therapy at Tufts University. Her work explores the intersection of creativity and rehabilitative medicine.

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"Rise" by Jeff Yang, Phil Yu, and Philip Wang — $27.00

What it’s about:

In this step-by-step book (published in 2022), Yang, Yu, and Wang chronicle how we arrived at today’s cultural representation of Asian Americans. Through interactive infographics, Rise uncovers historic Asian American landmarks, offers graphic essays from AAPI artists, and celebrates Asian American cultural icons. It’s a bustling celebration of and love letter to the AAPI community.

About the authors: 

Jeff Yang is the founder of A Magazine and a contributing writer for CNN, Quartz, and Slate. He was the former Asian Pop columnist at the San Francisco Chronicle.

Phil Yu is a Los Angeles-based founder and editor of an Asian American news and culture blog titled Angry Asian Man. His writing appears in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, and more.

Co-founder of Wong Fu Productions, Phillip Wang channels his creative work through short films, music videos, and other content. He currently resides in Los Angeles.

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"Yolk" by Mary HK Choi — $12.00

What it’s about:

This novel follows the tale of June and Jayne, two sisters who grew apart but were brought back together under less-than-ideal circumstances. When June is diagnosed with cancer, the two sisters must confront their differences. In Yolk (published in 2022), Choi explores themes of family, sisterhood, and the challenges of growing up.

Who is Mary H.K. Choi? 

Choi is a New York Times bestselling author of three books: Emergency Contact, Permanent Record, and Yolk. Her work has appeared in The Atlantic, The New York Times, and GQ. Beyond the pen and paper, she is a podcaster for Hey, Cool Life! and Hey, Cool Job! She currently lives in Brooklyn, New York.

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The trick is to not let your own fear hold you back from leaning into what could be the next best experience of your life. If you need a little help, look to the universe. If you keep your eyes open and maintain a sense of childlike wonder, intrigue, and endless possibility, you might find messages that others may simply brush off as coincidences. That’s the beauty of angel numbers—they’re designed to guide you.

So, if you’re on the precipice of a life-altering decision, take a look around. If the number 5 constantly pops into view, you’ll know what to do. Keep reading to learn why.

What is the meaning of angel number 5?

Logistically, the number 5 is the median number; it’s halfway between 1 and 10. When rounding, if a number is below 5, it’s rounded down; if it’s above, it’s rounded up. In that sense, the number 5 is the milestone numeral that creates the shift from the low numbers to those higher up.

When it comes to the meaning of angel number 5, numerologist Joy Woodward, author of A Beginner’s Guide to Numerology, says that change, transition, and progressive thinking are at the forefront. The number 5 is also a sign of freedom, versatility, promotion, and being resourceful and adaptable, she says.

In short, astrologist, designer, and writer Jacquelyn Tierney says that the number 5 offers liberation—it’s a sign to free yourself into your deepest desires, without regard for limiting beliefs surrounding your wants and needs.

“The number five is a symbol for the energetic vibration of change, transformation, shift, shake-ups, desire, travel, expansion, imagination, options and opportunity, strength, curiosity, sexuality, adventure, healing, release, risk, and remodel,” she lists.

The significance of angel number 5

With so many possibilities under the umbrella of angel number 5, Tierney admits that the vibration of the number can feel both invigorating and chaotic. But that’s what cements the significance of angel number. It’s a sign to embrace every aspect of change—the good, the bad, the ugly—with the assurance that the universe has your back and will guide you through it.

What to do if you see angel number 5

If the number 5 keeps popping up in your life, Tierney says to take it as a sign from your angels that it’s time to expand your life.

“The vibration of five moves much quicker than the slow and steady four that came before it,” Tierney says. “It is now time to break out of your shell and learn about what freedom feels, looks, and tastes like to/for YOU—new opportunities and changes are coming; be open to the unexpected gifts and blessings.”

Dates with angel number 5

While the number 5 has its own significance that’s then amplified in the meaning of angel number 5, it’s important to remember that technically, angel numbers are repeating numbers (ie: 555), and dates with repeating numbers are said to be the most spiritually significant.

That said, you can still harness the energy of the number 5 when it pops up on your calendar. Just keep in mind the meaning of angel number 5 and lean into whatever changes arise. Remember: The universe will guide you if you let it.

1. Failure to follow the law or social norms
2. Repeated lying or deceitfulness
3. Impulsivity
4. Aggression and irritability
5. Disregard for their own safety or that of others
6. Consistently irresponsible
7. Lack of remorse for hurting or mistreating others.

However, that doesn’t mean that the other 24 fish-holding, selfie-taking cuties who cross your screen are all paragons of empathy and respect. Some of these folks may not have antisocial personality disorder, but still display sociopathic tendencies. After all, “an individual must meet three or more of the [above] criteria for antisocial personality disorder in order to receive a diagnosis,” explains psychotherapist Courtney Glashow, LCSW, founder of Anchor Therapy LLC. Thus, it’s possible for someone to consistently have a few sociopathic traits without having the diagnosable condition. Someone with sociopathic tendencies might, for instance, lack empathy for others, but still be a law-abiding, job-holding individual, she says.

Dating folks who have any number of these traits can be quite painful. And healing from the wounds they leave in their wake requires self-compassion, as well as a sound support system. Ahead, learn more about why dating someone with sociopathic tendencies can be so disorienting, and how to recover from dating a sociopath (or someone with those traits) after calling it quits.

Why dating someone with sociopathic tendencies can be disorienting

Experts say it is common for people with sociopathic tendencies to use a number of manipulation tactics to wrap people—particularly lovers and romantic partners—around their fingers.

In the beginning, sociopaths and people with those traits commonly use mirroring (mimicking or matching someone else’s verbal cues and body language) or love bombing (employing over-the-top affection, flattery, gifts, and attention) to make you feel instantly connected to them, says Naiylah Warren, LMFT, therapist and clinical content manager at Real. “In romantic connections, it can be hard to distinguish between performative intimacy—such as the intimacy created by those who love bomb or mirror—and genuine intimacy,” she says. As a result, these tactics are unfortunately effective at making someone feel like they’ve met their soul mate.

“It is common for people with sociopathic tendencies to gaslight that the issue is made up in your head, or that your emotions are not grounded in reality.” —Courtney Glashow, LCSW

Later on in the relationship, someone with sociopathic tendencies might gaslight you when conflict arises. “It is common for these people to gaslight that the issue is made up in your head, or that your emotions are not grounded in reality,” says Glashow. The intent of a person with sociopathic tendencies here, she says, isn’t to resolve whatever conflict has arisen or to soothe your emotions, but rather to control their partner. As you might guess, “over time, these tactics make you doubt your own feelings, instincts, and ultimately your view of reality,” Warren says.

Signs it’s time to reconsider the relationship

A relationship with someone with sociopathic tendencies is likely not a healthy one, according to Glashow. Healthy relationships, she says, are marked by mutual empathy, respect, and open communication. These are things that many people with sociopathic tendencies are not able to provide.

As a result, “these relationships often end up feeling one-sided, and result in the person without these tendencies being manipulated,” she says. In extreme situations, the person with sociopathic tendencies may abuse their partner. “If you are dating someone with these tendencies, it is very likely that you experienced emotional abuse at some point in that relationship,” adds Glashow.

As much as you may love this individual, you probably need to leave this relationship, she says, adding that in order for this person to change their sociopathic ways, they would need to get professional help to gain some empathy.

“There is no right or wrong way to get out of a relationship with someone with sociopathic tendencies,” says Glashow. But, she suggests consulting a licensed mental-health therapist who can help you come up with a break-up plan based on your current financial and housing situation, as well as the particularities of your partner. Likely, your plan will involve going no-contact, a whole lot of self care, learning how to trust again, and leaning on your support system. (More on these things below).

How to recover from dating someone with sociopathic tendencies

Yes, dating someone with sociopathic tendencies can be incredibly disorienting. But trust, you won’t feel disconnected from reality forever. These strategies can help.

1. Seek therapy if you’re able

If you’ve been in a relationship with someone who has exhibited sociopathic tendencies and haven’t already reached out to a mental health provider, consider doing so ASAP, suggests Glashow. You’d ideally find a provider who specializes in relationships, trauma, grief, and domestic violence, says Glashow.

“The right provider will be able to validate your experience, teach you how to cope with the psychological impact of the relationship, and help you rebuild both trust in others as well as trust in yourself,” Warren says.

This provider will, for example, remind you (as often as you need to be reminded) that it is not your fault that you fell for that person’s shenanigans. Nor is it any family members’ or friends’ fault that they didn’t see this coming. After all, people with sociopathic tendencies are savants of manipulation.

2. Lean on your support system

Being romantically and/or sexually entangled with someone with sociopathic tendencies can make you feel like you’re living on another planet. Warren says talking to and leaning on the people in your life who don’t have these tendencies can help bring you back to reality. These are the people who have repeatedly proven to be steady, compassionate fixtures, she says.

In addition to helping you learn how to trust again, “your support system [helps] you rebuild the parts of your life that might have been affected by this relationship,” she says. For instance, if you were living with this individual, healing from the relationship will require a relocation. Your support system will be able to put you up for a few days, weeks, or months—or simply help you haul boxes of stuff from your old place to a new one.

3. Connect with others who have been in the same boat

Sadly, you are not the first person who has experienced hurt at the hands of someone with sociopathic tendencies. After having your entire reality called into question, Glashow says finding others through social media who have experienced what you have can be both stabilizing and soothing to have it reiterated that you’re not the only person who has ever gone through this devastation.

It can also re-instill hope, she says. “Likely, you will find someone was able to get out of this type of relationship and grow into an even better person after getting out of the relationship.”

4. Educate yourself

“Reading about a topic can always be helpful,” says Glashow. And that stands when the topic is sociopathic tendencies and antisocial personality disorder.

Educating yourself about sociopathic tendencies and antisocial personality disorder, “can validate what you are going through,” she says. “It can help you understand that they need professional help, it’s not your fault, and it also not on you to change them.”

This article is a great place to start! Other popular books on the topic include: The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout, Confessions of A Sociopath by M.E Thomas, and The Sociopath at The Breakfast Table by Dr. Jane McGregor.

This week’s episode of The Well+Good Podcast delves into how competitive athletes can create a balanced life off the court or field, with stress relief being a big piece of that. Host Taylor Camille speaks with Nina Westbrook, LMFT, a former Division I college basketball player turned therapist and founder of digital wellness platform Bene by Nina, and sports psychologist Angela Charlton, PhD, who have recently partnered on a workshop designed to teach athletes how to boost their mental fitness.

Listen to the full podcast episode here:

“Typically, in competitive sports, the focus is the physical output—what we’re achieving physically, whether we’re winning games, whether we’re injured,” says Westbrook. “But what it really takes is a balance between the psychological and the emotional, the social wellness and the physical wellness. You have to be physically healthy to be able to compete, but in order to compete at a high level constantly and continuously, you also have to be mentally strong and mentally fit.”

That reality applies to any high achievers who may find themselves defending against a high-stress environment. And just like athletes, anyone who is looking to perform at their peak level will benefit from equipping themselves with stress-management tools—and practicing using them—before they wind up facing off with stress. “It’s important to have practical tools to be able to balance [everything on your plate] so that when you face those tremendous times of stress or those stressful transitions, you know how to handle them,” says Dr. Charlton.

Below, find Westbrook and Dr. Charlton’s top tips for how to manage high stress like a star athlete, even if you don’t have an athletic bone in your body.

How to manage high stress like an elite athlete, according to an athlete-turned-therapist and sports psychologist

1. Bolster your social ties, and build a life you love outside of work

Strong relationships, like those with friends and family, are essential to both mental and physical wellbeing and can lend support when it comes to handling stress. As a former college athlete herself, Westbrook emphasizes that people who hold a high-stress position or one that’s deeply wrapped up with their identity, need to enrich their lives outside of their jobs. That means maintaining friendships and relationships with family members, and doing things outside of your work that you bring you joy (yes, even if your work itself is joy-sparking). After all, your job isn’t the entirety of who you are.

2. Make time (even if it’s just a few minutes) for mindfulness

No matter what your day looks like, it’s key to fit stress-busting mindfulness practices into it. Yoga is Westbrook’s mindfulness activity of choice because of how it combines breathwork, mindful meditation, and movement. Dr. Charlton recommends diagphragmatic breathing, which can have a physically de-stressing effect—research has shown it can lower cortisol levels—and grounding techniques to really orient yourself to the present.

All of these practices can be effective for stress management and relief even in short bursts. If you really feel strapped for time, though, consider working mindfulness into your shower, says Dr. Charlton, “and just really utilize all their senses.”  To do this, simply turn your focus toward the sounds, smells, sights, and textures you’re experiencing in the shower; this has a way of distracting your mind from the other stressful thoughts that might occupy it.

Another tip for people low on time and high on stress? Try simply turning the lights off for 10 minutes and focusing on being present where you are to ground yourself, says Dr. Charlton.

3. Redirect stressful thought patterns

Thoughts can feed and exacerbate stress, particularly when they distort your perception of reality into something much more negative or upsetting than it really is. These kinds of thoughts are called cognitive distortions and include things like, “If I make a mistake, I will lose my worth and value,” and “I must get everything on my list done to be or feel accomplished.”

To avoid these negative spirals, it’s important to first recognize that “the way you think about something is going to significantly impact how you behave,” says Dr. Charlton. Being aware of this reality could help you identify when you’re stuck in a stress-inducing thought pattern.

If you do catch yourself thinking in negative circles, pause to examine the factual information of the situation, and assess whether your thoughts are truly rooted in those facts. Dr. Charlton gives the example of passing by a friend at a shopping mall who doesn’t say “hi” to you, and then resorting to thinking that they are mad at you or don’t like you—both of which are conclusions that could cause stress. By instead thinking through the facts of the situation, you’d also realize that it’s possible this friend never actually saw you. This realization can help reframe the interaction from something upsetting to something much more benign.

For more tips from Westbrook and Dr. Charlton on how to get ahead of and manage stress in high-stress environments, listen to the full podcast episode here.

Soulful eyes, germy mouth

According to the American Kennel Club, a dog’s mouth contains around 600 types of bacteria, which is similar to what people have. There’s some species overlap there, but dogs also carry unique germs that humans aren’t equipped to fight off. Some of these microbes are zoonotic, meaning they can jump between species, and cause infections.

There’s also evidence based on a 2022 genetic study, published in Antibiotics, that canine saliva has plentiful numbers of bacteria containing transferable antimicrobial resistance genes. These dangerous genes may promote antibiotic resistance in humans, which you definitely don’t want.

Bacteria from dogs have a very low chance of penetrating intact skin, but they can get into your system through broken skin and mucus membranes like your eyes, nose, and mouth.

“All animals and people have bacteria, yeast, and viruses (called the oral microbiome) living in their mouths,” says Heather Berst, VMD, a veterinarian at Zoetis. “Many of these organisms are beneficial, but a few can be harmful if transmitted to people from dogs. The ones to be most concerned about are Clostridium, E. coli, salmonella, and campylobacter.”

Dogs can also have intestinal parasites like heartworm that they spread by licking, although Dr. Berst says parasites are more likely to spread through dog poop than by oral transmission.

And what about when Fido, you know, eats that poop? This icky habit is referred to as coprophagia, but whatever you call it, it’s gross, especially if your dog wants to lick your face afterward. “The fact that dogs eat poop is a concern for many people, but this doesn’t necessarily pose a significant risk to humans,” says family medicine physician Laura Purdy, MD, MBA. “While eating poop can introduce harmful bacteria into a dog’s mouth, the risk of transmission to humans from a dog’s lick is still relatively low.”

How worried should you be about a dog licking your face?

Your sweet doggy doesn’t know their mouth is a germ cesspool. They only know they love you and want to show it. The risks of transmission from licking your face are relatively small, but not non-existent, So, what’s a dog owner to do?

Dr. Berst isn’t only a veterinarian, she’s also a dog mom to Dottie, a highly affectionate rescue Chinese crested dog. “Every time I come home, Dottie gets super excited and crazily licks my face while wagging her tail—and I let her. That being said, I think you need to talk to your physician and your veterinarian if your dog licks your face regularly, as there can be some risks,” she says.

Dr. Berst and Dr. Purdy both feel that the most critical things to consider are the dog’s health status, and the person’s overall health. People with compromised immune systems should avoid having their dog lick them on the face. Elderly individuals and children should also show added caution.

How to protect yourself from dog germs

To start with, regular veterinary care for your pet is a must. This should include preventatives, like vaccines, that decrease the chance of transmitting zoonotic diseases to you and your family. “Make sure your pet is tested for parasites (worms) and is on a parasite preventative,” Dr. Berst says. “They should also be vaccinated for diseases such as rabies, and have their teeth cleaned regularly.”

Your dog’s diet also matters. Raw diets have become popular, but many veterinarians, including Dr. Berst, discourage their use. “Raw food diets increase the risk of transmitting food-borne illnesses. If I was around a dog and the owner fed the dog raw food, I would be cautious about that dog licking my face,” Dr. Berst says.

Also be wary around strays, who may eat moldy or rotted food off the street. Those that aren’t vaccinated or cared for may be more likely to carry disease. If you see a stray, contact a dog rescue organization that can get it the care it needs, and a forever home. In the meantime, stay clear of doggy kisses from dogs you aren’t familiar with.

Even if your dog gets optimum care, it’s a good idea to stop them from licking areas of open skin, like cuts and scrapes. “Even a healthy dog’s mouth may contain Pasteurella, a bacterium which can cause skin infections,” says Dr. Purdy. She also warns against Capnocytophaga canimorsus, a rare bacteria that can cause severe illness in people with weakened immune systems.

If your dog licks an open wound or bites you (it happens), contact your healthcare provider right away. Signs of infection like redness, swelling, or pus-like discharge require medical attention asap.

How to safely get love from your dog (and how to give it, too)

The symbiosis between humans and animals is clear. You probably need your dog’s unconditional love as much as they need yours. If you and your dog are both healthy, there’s no real need to forgo at least some of those loving, slobbery kisses.

If, however, you wish to be cautious or have cause for concern, Dr. Berst recommends training your dog to sit when you arrive home and wait for a treat or high-five, instead of a kiss. Cuddle sessions and petting are another powerful way to deepen your bond without the risk of swapping germs.

I started “working out” in college, but I can’t say I ever liked it. Girls in my hall would all do eight-minute abs together or take group runs on the seaside cliffs near my Southern California university. I participated, but I also regularly claimed to “not be feeling well.”

College was also where I first developed a less-than-healthy mindset about working out. Since exercise was a chore, it was also a reaction: If I went out for late-night burritos, I had to run the next day. We all treated exercise this way. “I made sure to do a really long run earlier,”a friend would say as we tucked in to chips and dip at a restaurant known for its queso blanco.

While I was lucky to never develop disordered eating, I definitely had some disordered thinking when it came to exercise. Working out was almost exclusively done to look a certain way. You had to work out a certain way, too—at my school, most people ran or surfed for exercise. The learning curve for surfing was too steep for me, and running was just… boring.

This was more or less my relationship with fitness for the next decade. I was motivated by guilt, not enjoyment. The kinds of workouts I was doing didn’t help with that, either—one program popular during the thigh-gap-and-skinny-jeans era was even called the “fit jeans challenge,” as in, do this challenge and you’ll look the way people who wear skinny jeans are supposed to look. 

During the pandemic, my husband and I started doing online workout videos together daily to keep cabin fever at bay. After long hours on Zoom, moving my body started to feel like a treat, and doing fast-paced, high-intensity workouts was nothing like slogging through what always felt like an interminable run. This gave me a major mindset shift: It turns out that being active can actually be fun. With the right approach, it can feel less like work, and more like play.

“There’s an opportunity to make something playful because play isn’t its own thing that exists,” explains Elizabeth Lyons, PhD, of the University of Texas Medical Branch. “Play is basically an attitude towards everything or anything that happens.”

Lyons researches how the characteristics of games can help motivate physical activity and change behavior. Features like unpredictability, discovery, and even challenges can all change the way that someone interacts with something, making that thing more interesting to the person doing it. Those highly variable workout videos I was doing? That unpredictability was probably helping me view exercise more like play. Even though I was doing a similar style of activity every day, the exact moves, the intervals, and the order were always changing.

“The idea of novelty, surprise, unpredictability—these are very common playful experiences that are targeted by games, but they’re also important beyond games just in everyday life for keeping people interested in all sorts of things,” Lyons says. “I think unpredictability is huge.”

Another factor in viewing activities as games, Lyons says, is adding challenges, or rules. High-intensity workouts, for me, had the perfect combination of variability and rules to feel like a game.

“[Challenges are] basically the equivalent of when you’re a kid making up a rule that you can’t step on the cracks in the pavement,” Lyons said. “It doesn’t even have to be particularly challenging. It’s just some kind of arbitrary constraint that makes things more interesting.”

My ultimate challenge: handstands. I started trying to do them when I was in the midst of a lot of life upheaval—a big move, applying to jobs, and generally trying to figure out what I was doing in life. I was craving a small win, something that I could, theoretically, accomplish on my own. Now that I’d been doing regular strength and mobility-building workouts, I had ostensibly built up the capacity to hold myself upside down.

I began, as we start many things in 2023, by watching YouTube videos. And then by climbing up the wall, doing pike push-ups, and all the other things that the internet told me to do to “learn how to do handstands.” And it just wasn’t working. I could barely hold myself in a right angle against the wall. And pike push-ups? For someone who can (still) barely do a regular push-up?

Then I remembered that childhood tumbling class. When we started, we weren’t using the wall, we were inverting ourselves from standing. So, I took myself outside to a lawn and started falling (safely—I still knew how to do cartwheels). A lot. I used any five-minute breaks I could get during the work day to get outside and practice.

And then I started getting a little better, and a little better. I realized that I was throwing myself at the ground with way too much force, which is why I was falling over. I learned that I should claw my hands into the ground. And that if I did fall, I needed to try again right away or the memory would become fear later.

Now, a few months in, I can hold myself upside down, though only for three or four seconds. And while I find myself getting frustrated sometimes, I can also see the improvement. I went from not being able to do handstands at all to consistently holding something, even if it’s just for a few seconds.

By viewing my workouts and handstand practice as recess, I was rewiring my motivation. No longer was exercise something I had to do as a response to guilt. Instead, physical movement was something I wanted to do because it was fun. Tom Baranowski, PhD, professor emeritus at Baylor College of Medicine who has also done research with Lyons, says that “fun” is something adults tend to think of as something for children, writing it off as unimportant.

“You are intrinsically motivated if you’re doing it because you want to do it—not because you’re getting rewards, not because somebody else is expecting you to do it,” Baranowski says. “We need to resurrect the idea of fun and apply it to physical activity and our behaviors.”

Learning handstands has become something where I can get lost in the fun and the challenge, just like I could become engrossed in timeless play as a child. There have been many studies that suggest that your mindset can not only change the likelihood that you will work out but also change how healthy you actually are. Altering my attitude to one of “play,” even accidentally at first, has helped me reshape my relationship with exercise. Now, I’m starting to imagine what other areas of my life could be play, too.

How to use a sleep cycle calculator

In general, most adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep per night. Someone who gets this recommended amount will generally go through between four and six sleep cycles (all of the sleep stages), according to Shelby Harris, PsyD, director of sleep health at Sleepopolis. “Each stage of sleep plays a different role in promoting physical and mental health, so it’s important to fully cycle through all of them,” she says. “For example, deep sleep is important for physical restoration and muscle repair, while REM sleep is important for cognitive function and memory consolidation.”

“Each stage of sleep plays a different role in promoting physical and mental health, so it’s important to fully cycle through all of them.”—Shelby Harris, PsyD, director of sleep health at Sleepopolis

Here’s how this sleep cycle calculator works: You input the time you’d like to wake up, and then it will produce some times you could consider falling asleep, and also roughly how many sleep cycles you’d go through for each time.

For example, if you want to wake up at 7 a.m., the sleep cycle calculator says you could achieve about six sleep cycles through nine hours of sleep if you go to bed at 10 p.m., versus only three cycles if you go to bed at 2:30 in the morning.

The importance of getting enough sleep and setting a consistent wake time

Waking up at the same time as much as possible is an integral part of good sleep, according to Jade Wu, PhD, sleep psychologist and author of Hello Sleep. Dr. Wu says the most important part of ensuring good sleep is to set that anchor on the back end (i.e. a regular wake time) to be sure you’re not jet lagging yourself by creating inconsistent sleep/wake times.

You can always go to bed earlier if you’re tired, but changing your wake time (even to try to catch up on sleep over the weekend) can throw your circadian clock out of whack; however, staying on a steady schedule for the appropriate number of hours will ensure you stay on track and hit all the stages of sleep you need. It’ll also make this process easier.

“If you get enough sleep most of the time—and sleep at about the same time every day—then your sleep cycles will naturally sort of fall into place and be pretty consistent from night to night and your brain will sort of wake you up at the correct time,” says Dr. Wu.

While these are some general rules of thumb for better sleep, ultimately, sleep is highly individualized, says Raj Dasgupta, MD, pulmonologist and sleep medicine specialist with Keck Medicine of USC. So if you’re utilizing tools like a sleep cycle calculator, it’s best to use them as a general information source and not a rigid guideline.

What’s better, according to Dr. Dasgupta, is to listen to your body’s needs and try to sleep when you feel tired. Don’t force anything that doesn’t feel right. “If my calculator tells me to go to bed at 8 p.m. and I’m not sleepy, that could be counter-productive,” he says.

Remember that the quality of your sleep is also important. To ensure a good night’s rest, both Dr. Wu and Dr. Dasgupta say to follow good sleep hygiene practices: Limit screen time and exposure to blue light before bed; make your room dark, quiet, and cold (specifically between 60 and 68 degrees F) to ensure the best environment for drifting off; and do soothing activities like meditation to get yourself in the mood to wind down. If you do all the things that ensure you’re getting the recommended amount of good sleep you need each night, you’ll be floating off to dream land and cycling through all the sleep stages in no time.

Properties of the May birthstone: The grounding and protective emerald

• Birthstone color: Green
• Element: Earth
• Planet: Mercury
• Chakra: Heart
• Origin: Colombia, Brazil, and Zambia

Emeralds are a variety of the mineral beryl, making them a close relative of aquamarine, which happens to be one of the two March birthstones. They get their green color from chromium, according to integrative medicine and crystal expert Elizabeth Trattner, AP, DOM, the owner of wellness center The Helia House. What’s more, they are often regarded as precious stones, alongside diamonds, rubies, and sapphires. The gem is commonly sourced from Colombia, Brazil, and Zambia. However, they can also be found in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Russia, Australia, and in some areas of the United States.

Birthstone meaning and symbolism of emerald

The name emerald is derived from the Greek word smaragdus for “green,” which is apropos, considering the gem’s verdant hue is one of its most striking features. Referred to as the “jewel of the kings,” it was long beloved by royalty, including Queen Cleopatra, who was said to adorn herself with emeralds and give them as gifts to dignitaries. The ancients also regarded the emerald as a symbol of rebirth and fertility, which is also reflective of the springtime energy of May.

“Emeralds conjure up an image of lush forests and earth goddesses,” says astrologer and spiritual coach Tenae Stewart, author of The Modern Witch’s Guide to Magickal Self-Care. “They can help us channel this grounded, earthy energy within ourselves as well.” When you wear or carry emeralds, they offer a reminder to tune into our physical bodies and focus on the here and now. According to Stewart, calling upon the grounding beauty of the emerald can be particularly helpful “if you’re feeling disconnected, out of your body, and too caught up in mundane realities that feel soul-sucking.”

In Vedic astrology, emeralds are commonly associated with Mercury, Gemini’s ruling planet, which governs communication, intelligence, and reasoning abilities. The gem is thought to help promote clear communication and enhance one’s ability to express themself. This makes it a useful stone for the chatty and quick-witted Gemini, the twins of the zodiac. The emerald can complement these Gemini personality traits while helping them combat overthinking and power through indecision. “This birthstone helps May Geminis ground their energy and calm their active mind,” says astrologist and spiritual teacher Jill Wintersteen, the founder of Spirit Daughter. “It can also help focus their thoughts, making them more impactful as they exchange them with others.”

According to astrologist Rachel Lang, author of Modern Day Magic, emeralds are also associated with planet Venus. “Taurus is Venus’s child, so it’s no surprise that they are sensual, tactile, and sensory-oriented beings,” astrologer Courtney O’Reilly of Vibrant Soul Astrology told Well+Good. Coupled with the fact that Taurus are fixed signs, they are steadfast and reliable, including when it comes to love and relationships. “Emeralds represent stable, heart-centered love and loyal commitments in a relationship,” says Lang, making it ideal for enhancing the characteristics inherent to Taurus.

According to Dr. Trattner, the vibrant green emerald also resonates with the heart chakra or Anahata, which governs all matters of the heart. Emeralds are believed to promote love, compassion, and forgiveness, qualities associated with a healthy heart chakra. Beyond love, “emeralds relate to success and staying the course to overcome challenges,” Lang says. “Even when you don’t have a lot of courage, the emerald can help you keep going strong.”

Alternatives to the May birthstone

May-born Geminis and Taurus can benefit from the energetic properties of other gemstones, too. In addition to emeralds, Geminis can also benefit from agate, chalcedony, and clear quartz. According to Wintersteen, “agate helps to ground their energy and nervous system,” while “chalcedony works to integrate their mind, body, and spirit.” What’s more, the blue-hued chalcedony is beneficial for communicating verbal wisdom—“something Gemini suns love to do,” says Wintersteen. Clear quartz, which is also known as a healing crystal, helps Geminis “shed negative vibrations like gossip” and “align with higher ones that transmit pure communication,” she says.

Taurus can also benefit greatly from opal, green onyx, and jade, each of which have their own energetic properties. Opal, particularly pink opal, can offer Taureans tranquility and peace, says Wintersteen. Much like emerald, green onyx can be a protective crystal, helping shield Taurus’ energy from negativity. “It also lifts them from their comfort zones into new beginnings,” she says. Finally, jade can also bring in energetic protection, as well as usher in all forms of abundance.

What are birthstones?

Birthstones are gemstones that represent a person’s birth month or zodiac sign. Their origins are believed to trace back to biblical times, and the first-century historian Flavius Josephus associated the 12 gemstones on Aaron’s breastplate in the Book of Exodus with the months of the year and the 12 zodiac signs. However, the custom of wearing an individual gem per month didn’t begin until around the 15th or 16th century in Germany or Poland. Birthstones are also found to have origins in Eastern Culture. The Ratna Pariksha, a fifth-century Hindu text, linked specific gems to deities, celestial bodies, and days of the week, while Vedic astrologers recommend certain gems to individuals based on their astrological birth chart.

In 1912, the American Council Association of Jewelers (which is currently known as the Jewelers of America) created a standardized list of birthstones in the United States. This list was updated by the Jewelry Industry Council of America and later by The American Gem Trade Association to include new types of birthstones for certain months of the year.

An overview of the birthstones for every month of the year

Want to pick a crystal that corresponds to your birth month? Here’s a quick overview of the birthstones for every month of the year:

• January Birthstone: Garnet
• February Birthstone: Amethyst
• March Birthstone: Aquamarine and Bloodstone
• April Birthstone: Diamond
• May Birthstone: Emerald
• June Birthstone: Pearl, Alexandrite, and Moonstone
• July Birthstone: Ruby
• August Birthstone: Peridot, Spinel, and Sardonyx
• September Birthstone: Sapphire
• October Birthstone: Opal and Tourmaline
• November Birthstone: Topaz and Citrine
• December Birthstone: Tanzanite, Turquoise, and Zircon

Frequently asked questions about the May birthstone

Does Taurus have two birthstones?

Taurus are associated with several birthstones. Taurus are typically linked with diamonds, the traditional April birthstone, diamonds, as well as emeralds, which is the birthstone for the month of May.

What are Gemini’s two birthstones?

Born in the period of May 21 and June 21, the twin signs canclaim emerald, the May birthstone, or pearl, alexandrite, or moonstone as their birthstones if born in June.

But what if you could prioritize your well-being with simple practices that fit into even the busiest schedule? According to certified functional nutritionist Kelly LeVeque, 10 minutes a day is all it takes to make some serious headway when it comes to supporting your health. “In my opinion, taking care of our well-being is the most important thing we can do for ourselves, so even amidst our busy schedules it should always be a priority,” she says.

Sound like a pipe dream? To turn this theory into practice, LeVeque is sharing four quick wellness tips, including guidance on how, exactly, to squeeze them into your daily routine—no matter how packed it is. And to make prioritizing your well-being even more attainable, she’s serving up each tip with a NOW® supplement formulated to support your specific wellness needs. Check out LeVeque’s 10-minute recommendations for feeling cared for and accomplished at the end of every (very busy) day.

1. Support your gut

Scroll through your social media feed for a minute or two and you’ll see that, these days, conversations about gut health are everywhere. But supporting your digestion isn’t just a passing trend—it’s essential to your overall mental and physical well-being, LeVeque says, which gives it some serious staying power.

To prioritize her own digestive health, LeVeque fortifies her gut-friendly Fab 4 smoothies—which you can create by combining any blend of protein, fat, fiber, and greens—with supplements. Choosing from a powerful lineup of NOW® powders, she adds a scoop of Organic Acacia Powder (which acts as a prebiotic to help maintain a healthy GI environment), Fiber-3 Powder (as a source of soluble and insoluble fiber), or Prebiotic Bifido Boost Powder (which helps support a healthy balance of gut microflora) to her daily drink.*

“Dedicating 10 minutes every morning to this habit will allow you to conveniently get 30 grams of protein, increase fiber intake, and stabilize blood sugar levels,” she says.

2. Get some sunlight

When your alarm goes off in the morning, do you pop right out of bed, or grab your phone off your nightstand and catch up on your social feeds? If you’re human and you usually opt for the second option, LeVeque suggests a different approach that can help boost your energy and combat early morning brain fog.

“Upon waking, rather than staying in bed and scrolling through your phone, step outside and aim to get at least two to 10 minutes of natural, direct sunlight to trigger the first dopamine release of the day and promote wakefulness,” she says. What better way to prioritize self care than with a dose of dopamine, first thing?

And there’s more: Sun exposure throughout the day is a simple way to fill up on vitamin D, which “has been linked with a lower risk of mood issues overall,” LeVeque says. “Getting out in nature is an easy way to increase endorphin levels and dopamine production.” To fill in the gaps on days you’re not able to get outside, she recommends supplementing with NOW® Vitamin D,* which offers 313 percent of your daily value per serving.

3. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate

You know drinking water is important—but did you know that properly hydrating is about more than simply hitting your daily number of ounces? “Many people drink plenty of water but don’t replenish electrolytes, leaving them at risk for electrolyte imbalance or deficiency and symptoms like headaches, cramps, fatigue, and weakness,” LeVeque says.

According to LeVeque, supplementing with a high-quality electrolyte mix is key—which is why she reaches for NOW® Sports Effer-Hydrate tablets, formulated to help with rehydration and recovery.* “The tablets contain sodium, calcium, potassium, chloride, phosphate, and magnesium for a complete electrolyte profile, and come in a variety of flavors that are the perfect addition to your water as a pre- or post-workout drink,” she says. Fruity sips that can help reduce your chance of fatigue throughout your daily grind?* That’s definitely self care.

4. Try “exercise snacking”

No, LeVeque’s not suggesting you hit the elliptical with a bag of trail mix (but don’t let us stop you, if that sounds appealing). She defines an “exercise snack” as any short burst of vigorous activity that raises your heart rate, like climbing the stairs or going for a quick walk. “Incorporate exercise snacks into your routine to interrupt prolonged periods of sitting as a way to boost your mood, increase energy levels, and support stable blood sugar levels,” she says.

To get the most out of these mini movement sessions, LeVeque recommends supplementing with NOW® Sports Creatine Monohydrate.* “Creatine is a substance found naturally in muscle cells,” LeVeque says, that’s been “shown to improve strength, increase lean muscle mass, help muscles recover faster, and promote optimal performance during short bouts of high-intensity activities.”*

So grab some creatine (or another pick from your supplement lineup), set your timer to 10 minutes, and prioritize your self care with these quick wellness tips—because you deserve at least 10 minutes for you, even on the busiest days.

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*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Dear Lia Love,

My girlfriend is jealous and paranoid about me being romantically and sexually interested in other people. She wants to know what I am up to at all times, and feels anxious if I don’t respond to her texts or look at another woman. I find this all irrational and it’s making me become more secretive, even though I am not doing anything wrong. I just want to avoid setting her off again, so I’m withholding. I love her, but her possessiveness is really unattractive to me. Any ideas for how to deal with a jealous partner when you haven’t done anything wrong?

Sincerely,

In Love but Fed Up

***

Dear In Love but Fed Up,

One of the reasons jealousy is so tricky to address is because the emotion itself isn’t a problem, but how we react to it can create major problems. It sounds like what is making you “fed up,” is not your girlfriend’s feeling, but how the feeling is resulting in her attempt to veer into the lane of your autonomy and control your behavior.

Sometimes when we feel threatened, we try to control the world around us to manage the insecurity within us. And while I totally validate that this is a strategy that may pose harm to relationships, it doesn’t absolve you from looking at the part you play in what might be making you fed up. Given that you are the one who is writing in about your distress, I will speak to your responsibility in taking action.

Sometimes when we feel threatened, we try to control the world around us to manage the insecurity within us.

In our relationships, we wish the other person would change their behavior to ease our pain or suffering. But since you cannot control your girlfriend or her behaviors, you must look at your role in the pattern. If we hit an impasse repeatedly or run into the same conflict, we can assume the dynamic is being co-created, and if you don’t change your role, my guess is you will continue to feel stuck and fed up. Exploring how her feelings potentially involve you could be the very thing that helps you deal with a jealous partner.

First, though, a bit on jealously in relationships, because the emotion is often misunderstood: It’s something that arises when we are afraid of losing someone very important to us. I still remember the sunken feeling of the first time I saw my college ex with his new girlfriend. Or when I became a mom and saw my single friends frolicking in the world, meanwhile I was chained to the sofa, breastfeeding and exhausted.

Jealousy can also function as a a sign that someone has an unmet need in the relationship, and they just don’t know how to own and express these needs. Our culture tells us to respond to negative emotions by squashing them, ignoring them, or denying them—but it’s actually when we get closer to them that they loosen their grip. In fact, it’s often the qualities coded as negative that, when investigated, have the most valuable hidden treasures.

Here’s how to deal with a jealous partner and protect your relationship

1. Move toward jealousy rather than away from it

I can see you’ve come to dislike your girlfriend’s response to her jealousy, and therefore might try to distance yourself from it. But what if you do the opposite?

Consider when you’ve experienced jealousy. How did it feel to worry about something being at risk? What ultimately made you feel safe or cared for that enabled you to work through the emotion?

You might also want to get to know more about your girlfriend’s jealousy: What triggers it? Has she had any experiences of her trust being betrayed in the past that might be arising in the present? What is she most afraid will happen if she doesn’t control your behavior? The more space you can create to talk about your lived experiences and how they have shaped you, the more opportunity you have to heal the wounds that may be keeping you stuck in this loop of offense/defense.

2. Be open to your partner’s vulnerabilities and survival strategies by sharing your own

We all have vulnerabilities and survival strategies to protect those vulnerabilities from being exposed. Survival strategies might look like lashing out, trying to control, eye-rolling, or getting defensive. Oftentimes our survival strategies trigger our partner’s vulnerability, and therefore their own survival strategy. Unity can only happen when both parties take down their guards, so let’s help you and your girlfriend do this.

Perhaps your girlfriend’s vulnerability is rejection or being unlovable. If this is the case, she might be masking it with her survival strategy of control. This then this kicks up your survival strategy—perhaps its “fixing” the problem by denying its reality?

Oftentimes our survival strategies trigger our partner’s vulnerability, and therefore their own survival strategy. Unity can only happen when both parties take down their guards.

Regardless of the specifics, it might be helpful to consider: How do you protect yourself when you feel criticized or attacked? What is the vulnerability that might be underneath your protection strategy? Have you expressed what it feels like when you’re accused of things you did not do? Does this remind you of any aspect of your past?

Consider how can you tell her this part of your story instead of trying to convince her not to feel what she feels or reassure her that there is nothing going on. After all, it’s her job to reassure herself. Typically when we feel accused, we try to convince the other that their belief or feeling is irrational in order to make it go away, but this just amps up their emotion.

By being more transparent about your experience, rather than attempting to defend yourself, you are not trying to fix the situation, but instead offering the possibility to be with it in a new way.

3. Create a new story together

When we are in conflict, we often get caught up in the content and neglect to look at what’s really happening between us. In fact, research shows that we’re worst at listening to those we love the most. This might be due to a belief that we can already predict what they are going to say.

Rather than seeing a need for learning how to deal with a jealous partner as what will save your relationship, consider the opportunity you have to ask new questions that elicit new storytelling. The couples that fare the best are not the ones that are the same or have the most in common, but rather the ones that negotiate their differences with deep respect and curiosity.

With care,

Lia Love

It’s a hot-button topic, too. The ultimate problem: Who is “allowed” to consider themselves “midsize”? As Sole-Smith writes, many creators are claiming the label just because they aren’t a size 2, and they refuse to hear criticism from people who live in larger bodies about the harm.

Before we dive in, it’s important to note this is a complicated topic. “Not every fat person thinks alike, of course,” wrote Sole-Smith in her new book, Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture. “We each bring our own context, our own set of privileges or other intersecting identities, and our own unique experiences of our bodies and the world’s treatment of those bodies.”

Keeping that in mind, here’s what different experts and self-described midsize people have to say about this controversial label.

The definition of “midsize” differs based on who you talk to

As mentioned, people have different definitions of what being “midsize” looks like. While The New York Times reported that the modeling industry says anyone above size 2 is midsize, various other people and outlets say the range is more like sizes 10 to 16.

When we all have different perceptions, it’s nearly impossible to say there’s one real definition. So how might an expert describe it generally? “‘Midsize’ is describing a group of folks who simply don’t experience the stigma or limitations in navigating the world that fat folks do, but are carving out a space to highlight their body image concerns and feelings of inadequacy compared to the thin ideal,” says Meredith Nisbet, MS, LMFT, the national clinical response manager at Eating Recovery Center.

These individuals may feel excluded from people in larger and smaller bodies. “Throughout my entire life, I have always had to look for larger sizes in stores and socially not be seen as ‘skinny’ by my peers,” says Brianna Sheridan, LPCC, a regional clinical director with Thriveworks in Cleveland who specializes in life transitions, stress, coping skills, women’s issues, and self-esteem. “However, many of my larger-bodied friends and associates make a point to say and share that because I am not as large as them, I cannot fully belong to the large ‘fat’-bodied group.”

The tricky problem with having no real definition is when use of the descriptor “midsize” gets out of hand. “Smaller and smaller folks have identified with this term on social media and use it to refer to being larger than the cultural ideal of thinness, but also not fat,” says Heather Clark, a licensed counselor and the clinical director at Rock Recovery. People may see that in TikTok videos, for example, and feel upset that the creator is (in a way) claiming to not have privilege when they do.

Another point Sole-Smith makes in her upcoming book is possibly the most important one in this discussion: “It’s never our job to label other people, and especially not people who live in bigger bodies than we do.” Nisbet adds that focusing more on image perception, or how people feel, than tangible difficulties, is “further marginalizing the already-marginalized.”

Sheridan has witnessed this among friends. “I often hear them throw shade at plus-size models (that are “midsized”) as not being body affirming enough as representation in media, etc., for larger body populations,” she says. She compares it to seeing more representation of people of color, but typically only ones who are light-skinned.

How the ‘midsize’ conversation can be problematic

This conversation revolves largely around numbers, from weights to measurements to clothing sizes—and that doesn’t help. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, sharing these types of personal metrics can be harmful, potentially triggering people with eating disorders to relapse or invalidate their experience. It’s also just generally fruitless. “Sharing weights/sizes and arguing about size categories is really unhelpful because it’s so nuanced and because there is significant privilege and marginalization at stake in these conversations,” Nisbet says.

We must also ask the critical question of why someone is posting those details in the first place. “Is it for validation? To have someone say something nice? To receive a different response from what is experienced in person?” says Wendy Schofer, MD, a board-certified pediatrician. Again, it comes down to moralizing body sizes, not giving actually helpful information. “When we are posting and labeling strictly by weight, we don’t understand a thing about the health of the person,” she adds.

Plus, have you ever noticed how people who carry weight in their stomach are seen differently from people who carry weight in their thighs, hips, or butt? I’ve heard people who identify as the latter be referred to as “thick” (which has positive connotations) whereas people who identify as the former are described as “chubby” or “fat” (said in a negative way). This could be because thighs, hips, and butts are sexualized, especially for people assigned female at birth. This issue pops up in clothing stores, too, as many plus-size items are made for hourglass-shaped bodies. This is rooted in the fact that we still live in a society where diverse bodies aren’t celebrated or respected.

Why the term ‘midsize’ may be hurtful to some

To some degree, whether or not you consider yourself to be “midsize” comes down to the difference between how you feel and what you experience, as Nisbet mentioned above. And that, like many other aspects, is tricky, considering the wide range of experiences people can have. This emphasizes how the term “midsize” can be hurtful.

“I think it’s important to highlight again here that this is based on a feeling—not feeling good enough or thin enough—and not on actual difficulty navigating the world in their body,” Nisbet says. “This alignment with the thin ideal pushes fat folks even further down the spectrum of body size and will only lead to increased stigma experienced by folks in larger bodies.” So in some ways, “midsize” can be hurtful as it centers the narrative on people who aren’t facing discrimination, aka not people in larger bodies and distracts our society from fighting for body liberation.

Can ‘midsize’ people still have ‘thin privilege’?

ICYMI, thin privilege refers to the unearned advantages people of a smaller size have.) And Sheridan, who considers herself to fall into this category, says yes, someone who is “midsize” or at least “not thin,” can still benefit from the privileges afforded smaller-bodied people. “I definitely have experienced skinny privilege in the clothing that I can find, the ease at finding jobs or being socially accepted in public, the seats that allow me to sit, the airplane seat prices that don’t get increased because I need a special seat or belt expander, the medical field providers not lecturing me based on my habits, etc.,” she says. “There is no doubt ‘privilege’ in having bodies that society designs and caters to. However, no one looking at me would ever call me ‘skinny.’”

We also have to ask this: Are people using the term “midsize” to avoid being called fat?

“The term has been somewhat co-opted by folks who wear sizes 8 to 14 to distance themselves both from fatness, and from their own thin privilege, by refusing to identify with thinness,” Clark adds. While “fat” isn’t a bad word, many people still judge and discriminate against people who are fat—which is why that urge to distance is understandable. However, the true point is to address fatphobia in ourselves and in our society so people of all bodies can be at peace.

Ultimately, there’s a lot of gray area. On one hand, the term “midsize” divides us further, taking us away from the true point: celebrating body diversity (and not putting so much focus on body size). Sheridan agrees: “I feel calling bodies like my own as ‘midsize’ is just another way to say us versus them.” Otherwise, she says, we’re causing “those of us ‘passing’ as midsized bodies to be alienated against and not find solidarity with any group, but still having a larger body and experiencing similar, if not the same, pain points.”

But on the note of the latter, the word “midsize” can be helpful in that it draws attention to the specific issues people in that size range face despite their thin privilege. “At long last, there is much-needed attention on this body type that has been previously overlooked,” says Marian Kwei, a celebrity stylist, editor-at-large, and creative consultant. “The midsize sector has nothing being tailored to them; clothing available to them has never been given pre-thought or any specialization.”

Where do we go next?

With many various (and valid!) viewpoints, it’s hard to have a definitive, “right” opinion. Given that, how can we navigate the conversation in a helpful way with loved ones? Nisbet suggests flipping the script, being objective, and considering the circumstances.

“It’s difficult for the person who’s straight-size, but the largest person in their family, to understand they still receive and benefit from thin privilege in the general world,” she explains. “However, if we base body size categorization on how easy or difficult it is for us to navigate the world or access different things, there’s a tangible divide that highlights the privilege and marginalization folks experience.”

“At the end of the day, I wish we, as a society, would stop playing this game and recognize the more we can all accept each other regardless of size, the better,”—Brianna Sheridan, LPCC

She acknowledges how this can be easier said than done. “It is an uphill battle to argue someone’s identity with them,” she adds. “We all exist in our own individual context and systems, and therefore our image of ourselves isn’t always easily understood by others.”

Sheridan urges continuing to fight for inclusivity. “At the end of the day, I wish we, as a society, would stop playing this game and recognize the more we can all accept each other regardless of size, the better,” she says. This could look like making airplane seat belts longer so extenders aren’t needed, creating more fashionable options for people of all sizes (that are also affordable!), and educating family and doctors about anti-fat bias, to start. “We do not realize that the person on the other side of the screen is not the problem, per se. It’s the society that envelops our day-to-day that tells us that beauty and our bodies are not good enough.”

In The Fat Studies Reader, fat activist Marilyn Wann says it well: “If we imagine that the conflict is between fat and thin, weight prejudice continues. Instead, the conflict is between all of us against a system that would weigh our value as people.”

TL;DR: Be open to having critical conversations (and maybe even changing your mind) about the term “midsize,” acknowledging the gray area and respecting people’s lived experiences—especially if it includes oppression. Lastly, continue the hard fight of body liberation for all.

It seems to mesh that ideal balance we crave between being productive and relaxing, both soothing and inspiring us. Studies show that just 15 minutes with a book—novel or nonfiction—reduces your stress, makes you more empathetic, and even lengthens your life. Luckily, finishing just one book starts a ripple effect, according to studies: if you finish one, you’re more likely to continue the habit.

Plenty of us collect books anyway for a rainy day, claiming we’ll get around to them when we “finally have the time.” With so many good releases this month (up ahead, don’t worry), we really have no excuse. But even so, the endless choices and bookstore shelves can seem completely overwhelming.

Luckily, we did all the work for you, gathering must-read releases out this month you just have to snap up whether as an audiobook, library loan, or purchased copy. Read on before you *read on* for our top picks.

6 April book releases you need to add to your reading list, stat

"Momfluenced: Inside the Maddening, Picture-Perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture" by Sara Peterson — $26.00

Seeing a book tackle the nuances and cultural history of influencers—especially the complicated factors of motherhood-focused figures and lifestyles—feels long overdue. Although we’ve followed and double-tapped those seemingly picture-perfect families, we have to admit we’ve always been curious or even downright cynical about the effects displaying intimate moments so visibly on the internet might have on the kiddos and the fams, especially when considering aspects like monetization, “sad beige” minimalist aesthetics for the sake of the ‘gram, and more.

Now, we’re starting to see the first generation of those filmed, photographed, and captioned toddlers coming of age and reclaiming their own narratives. If you loved memoirs like Jeanette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died or await Brittney Spears’s tell-all with bated breath, this read may be for you. While this won’t dish sordid details, the peek behind the curtain is definitely worthwhile. Best of all, it interrogates how aspects of whiteness, consumerism, and more inform mommy influencer culture, showing how “family as content” is all just the latest iteration of a historical daydream sold to American women as an ideal.

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"Happy Place" by Emily Henry — $12.00

Uh, raise a hand if you’ve been waiting for the next Emily Henry pick all year long? No? Just us? Having solidified her status as a deliverer of beach reads with her adult contemporary romance Beach Read, Emily Henry hath blessed us all like clockwork with an annual release of a vivid love story—or in Happy Place’s case, a maybe-falling-out-of-love story.

Longtime couple Harriet and Wyn can’t stand to tell their group of best friends that they’ve broken up, not when they’ve all reunited for their annual vacation at the beloved Maine cottage they head to every year. Not when they’re sharing a bedroom, and especially not when the cottage is up for sale—so it could be their last trip ever. So how hard could it be to pretend? Except for each of them are trying so desperately not to show their ex they’re still head over heels for them. Naturally, hijinks ensue.

Henry excels at writing witty banter, sizzling chemistry, and quirky details that bathe the reader in a warm, hazy enjoyment. Think Hallmark movie, but much less corny. If you’re looking for a lighthearted yet satisfying read to catapult you into the dizzy joys of summer, look no further. Bonus points for this rom-com having the oh-so-popular “fake dating” and “exes to lovers” tropes beloved by BookTok et al.

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"You Could Make This Place Beautiful: A Memoir" by Maggie Smith — $19.00

An instant New York Times bestseller, viral poet Maggie Smith tackles her newfound coming-of-age and process of rediscovery in her memoir after the disintegration of her marriage, told (of course) with the attention to detail and language that characterizes her poems. In the book, she examines her relationship with womanhood, her failed relationship, and more in a highly personal and illuminating way sure to strike a chord with many, whether they’re undergoing major life changes or simply seeking a lovely perspective full of honesty and grace.

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"The Ugly History of Beautiful Things: Essays on Desire and Consumption" by Katy Kelleher — $15.00

Through this keen collection of essays, Paris Review contributor Katy Kelleher examines our interest in beauty and consumption. Why do we buy what we do? What lends something its aura of glamour and prestige, and what does it mean for our identities when we chase it? From an overview of how silks and perfumes came to signal luxury, to the environmental cost of our consumerism, this social history of material culture reminds us to examine our relationship to “things” in a way that’s philosophical rather than judgemental, a solid reminder. All that glitters is not gold, after all.

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"Where We Meet the World: The Story of the Senses" by Ashley Ward — $27.00

One key to meditation and staying “in the moment” is to really tune into each of your senses, making it a core tenet of many wellness practices. If you love a book to solidify and nourish your own routines and reflections, you might appreciate this investigation into everything we know about sight, scent, touch, taste, and hearing. Renowned biologist Ashley Ward takes the reader on a journey through the senses via the latest, most groundbreaking research across humans, plants, and animals. Ward filters his insights through sensations we’re all familiar with, like a sip of iced coffee or the sound of laughter, making it easy to connect the read with the “little things” in our daily lives.

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"The Soulmate" by Sally Hepworth — $20.00

If you’re a Book of the Month aficionado, you may recognize The Soulmate, a buzzy thriller in that oh-so-popular “can you really trust your spouse?” genre appealing to fans of HBO’s The Undoing, Apple TV’s spankin’ new release The Last Thing He Told Me, and the book that started it all: Gone Girl. Focused on a couple living in a coastal village, the book begins with their perfect house by the cliffs—which has tragically become a spot where people go to end their lives. The couple’s made a habit of desperately coaxing troubled individuals off the ledge, and they’ve gotten pretty good at it too. Until one day, the husband…doesn’t try. When it comes out that he knows the victim, and may be hiding an even more sinister secret, our narrator Pippa must unravel the secrets of their marriage and confront an unfortunate truth: that she may not know her soulmate at all.

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While there’s a mountain of evidence showing that social connection is paramount to good mental and physical health and key to fighting off loneliness, it’s certainly possible to have too much of a good thing: Socializing to the point of running out your energetic battery can lead to social exhaustion or burnout, particularly if work or other obligations are also filling up your plate. In turn, a (digital) stack of invitations can quickly go from exhilarating to exhausting—no matter how appealing and fun each one may sound. After all, these invites are all bids for your time, of which you only have a finite amount.

Read on for why you may find yourself with more social obligations in the spring, plus expert advice for managing your social life this season, so you can have fun without burning out.

Why the arrival of spring can make people more social

A tendency to imitate nature

Part of the reason why you may find your phone blowing up with more invites in the spring is because of the ways we, as humans, follow nature’s seasonal cycles—that is, on a biochemical level, according to Viktoriya Karakcheyeva, MD, director of behavioral health at the Resiliency and Well-Being Center at George Washington University’s School of Medicine & Health Sciences.

In general, just as winter brings a slow-down and a hibernation season for nature, it does so for us, too; and as plants bloom and animals return to their full activity in warm weather, so do we. “Winter is a time for turning inward, and there’s less movement and more stagnation in the body,” says psychotherapist Lia Love Avellino, LCSW. “Once spring comes around, we see the flowers bloom, and the weather is more inviting, so it makes sense why we would have the inclination to be out more [with friends].”

“Once spring comes around, we see the flowers bloom, and the weather is more inviting, so it makes sense why we would have the inclination to be out more [with friends].”—Lia Love Avellino, LCSW, psychotherapist

Shifts in our circadian rhythm, which is influenced by light exposure, also play a role in changing our behavior with the seasons; as evidence, consider the fact that we actually get less sleep in the summer months (when there are more daylight hours for socializing and activities) than we do in the winter months (which is also when we tend to feel more sleepy).

The mood-boosting effects of sunlight

Another reason why people may be inclined to be more social in the spring and summer is the opportunity to be out in the sun and reap all its health-supportive benefits.

For starters, sunlight exposure has a powerful effect on mood, triggering the brain to release more serotonin, a neurotransmitter that can influence your happiness and promote calm. The sun also stimulates the production of Vitamin D, which may play a role in mood regulation that helps fend off depression. All of this positive sun-boosted energy could also “make you more open to new information and social experiences, and thus more likely to make plans with friends,” says Dr. Karakcheyeva.

More opportunities for social activities

The fact that it may simply be easier to get together with your friends when it’s not snowing, raining, or freezing may also have something to do with the avalanche of invites come spring and summer, according to psychologist Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD.

Just think about the broader potential for activities in the warmer months as compared to the dark, cold, and sometimes wet winter ones: Enjoying a barbecue, spending time at the beach or hiking up a mountain, having a picnic in a park, and dining al fresco are all fun and often social activities that are much more feasible to do when it’s warm out. And the more you choose to engage in these outdoor activities, the more you might feel inclined to do so (and to invite friends along, too) because of the ways in which spending time in nature can boost your mood and work wonders for your mental health.

The happy nostalgia of warm-weather months

Dr. Rubenstein also points out that many people may associate spring and summer with positive memories from their childhoods—think: spring break or summer vacation, for example. “This can motivate people to seek the same positive experiences and emotions in adulthood by planning events and socializing during the warmer months,” she says.

Certainly, some folks may connect the winter months with just as many happy social memories—for example, memories made with family members around the holiday season—but the nostalgic ties between summer and carefree socializing, in particular, are often deeply ingrained. And this may lead folks to concentrate their social plans during spring and summer months in adulthood, says Dr. Rubenstein.

How to manage your social life as spring arrives in order to avoid social burnout

Don’t ramp up too quickly

If you’re getting an influx of invites all at once, resist the urge to accept them as they arrive, says Avellino. By, instead, easing more slowly into a busier schedule, you’ll be able to more effectively decide how you want to spend your time with friends and clearly evaluate the necessary trade-offs you may need to make in order for that to happen.

In general, it’s important to leave some breathing room in your schedule, at least in the beginning of the warm-weather season. “Our bodies have been more at rest in the winter, so ramping up might actually take a bigger toll than we would like or anticipate,” says Avellino.

Set boundaries

Dr. Karakcheyeva advises taking some time to set clear boundaries for your social life during this period of greater social obligation. To do so, decide what kinds of social activities you’d most like to do, and what days or time periods make the most sense for you to work them into your schedule, taking into consideration other commitments and priorities.

From there, you can set a social boundary around a particular activity or a timeframe. For instance, you might choose to avoid late-night or early-morning hangouts because you want to prioritize sleep; or, you might decide to schedule only one big-group outing during any given week or month, if you know that those kinds of hangouts are more draining for you. Whatever your reasoning, stick with it as a means to determine which social invites you accept and which you turn down.

Once your boundaries are in place, communicate them to your friends and loved ones, says Dr. Rubenstein, so they know the kinds of activities you’ll be interested in doing this season and can hopefully adjust their invites accordingly.

Naturally, these boundaries can—and should—shift with time, particularly if they don’t seem to be working. That’s likely the case if you’re no longer enjoying the company of friends; you feel more sad, irritable, or anxious; you’re unable to make decisions; or you feel physically exhausted after interacting with others, says Dr. Rubenstein. These are all signs that you may be on the brink of social burnout, and you need to ramp things down.

Evaluate each invitation individually

Once your social boundaries are in place, you can more effectively evaluate any invite against those boundaries. Because every invite reflects a choice to be made, you may initially be tempted to make the decision that will avoid disappointing a friend or loved one. But Avellino suggests reframing each invite, instead, in terms of what you want and your boundaries.

To do this, consider conducting a cost-benefit analysis, says Dr. Karakcheyeva. “It might sound selfish, but think about what you would gain from the interaction versus what you would lose—because you might be paying more emotionally than the benefit you’re receiving in return.”

For example, if you’re recovering from a stressful work week and need to sleep, but a friend you haven’t connected with in a while really wants to hang out, you need to decide whether the benefits of seeing them outweigh the costs—and if not, whether there’s the potential for a more balanced compromise. Perhaps that means prioritizing your sleep that night, but making a plan to get coffee or go on a walk with your friend the next day.

Schedule time to yourself

Jamming your calendar full of activities without leaving any free time for you to spend alone is a surefire route to social burnout. Alone time is an essential component of mental health and emotional wellbeing, so Dr. Rubenstein recommends actually penciling it into your schedule.

During that time, “prioritize activities that help you recharge and rejuvenate, such as exercise or meditation,” she says. “This can help prevent burnout by ensuring that you have the energy and motivation to socialize when you do choose to do so.”

The couple is sharing some of their findings in their new book, Undo It! With Ornish, where they explain that many illnesses, including chronic inflammation, oxidative stress (an interruption in the natural balance of free radicals and antioxidants in your system), and changes to your microbiome, originate from the same sources. They’ve found that most of these biological concerns can be traced back to four key lifestyle habits: How we eat, manage our stress, move our bodies, and prioritize our interpersonal relationships. (At the moment, the Ornishes are conducting the first randomized trial to determine if improving these four lifestyle habits can reverse early stage Alzheimer’s disease.)

“This theory provides a more scientific basis for understanding disease and helps explain why Blue Zone regions and some Asian countries have had low rates of all these different chronic diseases,” Dr. Ornish recently shared in an interview with longevity expert Dan Buettner, founder of the Blue Zones, who studies places in the world where people tend to live exceptionally long, healthy lives.

Below, we break down the top four longevity lifestyle tips we can learn from the longest-living people in the world. Read ahead to learn the diet, stress management, physical activity, and socializing habits they employ for a longer, healthier life.

4 longevity lifestyle tips from the longest-living people on Earth

1. They eat plant-based diets

When it comes to filling their plates, the folks of the Blue Zones focus on plants. “They’re eating 90 to 100 percent plant-based food beyond a shadow of a doubt,” Buettner previously told Well+Good. Why? Because foods like vegetables, fruits, grains, and beans benefit your heart, gut, and brain. Plus, plant-based diets are associated with a lower risk of heart disease, prevention of type two diabetes, a reduced risk of cancer, the prevention of Alzheimer’s Disease (and the list goes on).

The people of the Blue Zones also eat small playing card-size portions of meat on occasion, and generally stick to drinking water, coffee, and—yes!—wine.

Enjoy your vegetables with this vegan Italian meatball soup:

2. They manage stress by gardening

Researchers are really just beginning to understand how stress contributes to disease, but early findings indicate that the mental turmoil caused by a too-long to-do list or one too many nights of poor sleep essentially compromises our body’s ability to regulate inflammation. And scientists now believe that this can cause diseases like Alzheimer’s to both develop and progress—hence why stress management is a huge part of protecting your body and mind from disease.

Luckily, there are many ways to mitigate stress—from meditation to prayer to dancing. But in the Blue Zones, gardening is perhaps the most popular form of stress relief. The positive side effects of gardening include delayed symptoms of dementia, and improved mental and physical health.

3. Blue Zone residents stay physically active throughout their day

Blue Zone residents aren’t known to do strenuous workouts, but their lives are dynamic, Emily Kiberd, DC, founder of New York City’s Urban Wellness Clinic, previously told Well+Good. For example, they walk to the grocery store, dance, practice thai chi, and ride their bikes basically everywhere. FYI, walking, dancing, and biking have all been shown to lower your risk of cardiovascular disease. So keep in mind that your morning stroll and lunchtime dance break are making a difference (even if each one only lasts 15 minutes).

4. They stay closely connected to their communities

Go figure: Having people in your life who love and care for you—and who you love and care for in return—is good for you. “Love is not something you hear about often in mainstream medicine, and that’s the part that our participants are most apprehensive about, even though it’s probably the most valuable,” says Anne Ornish. One study demonstrated that dementia risk in people above the age of 75 was lowest for those who had various, satisfying social connections.

So when you’re thinking about how to take care of yourself today, make sure to pencil in some time with someone you love. Your body will thank you in the long run.

“There’s something to be said for routine when it comes to both quality sleep and digestive health, and they also support one another,” says Kelly Jones, RD, LDN. That’s right, you can use your bedtime routine to your advantage to support your gut and digestive health.

Can your digestive system affect your sleep?

According to a 2016 study from the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, lower fiber diets with higher saturated fat and sugar intake showed lighter (less deep) sleep with more intermittent wake-ups. The researchers concluded that higher fiber, lower fat, and lower sugar meals, especially later in the day, can contribute to better sleep. It makes sense that gut-healthy, easy-to-digest foods would contribute to better sleep. Your body slows digestion when you sleep. So if you have eaten a full meal of things that will be a challenge for your stomach and its bacteria to digest— less quality sleep makes sense as a result.

Can probiotics help you sleep better?

As far as probiotics go, unless they’re fortified with a drowsy agent like melatonin or magnesium, probiotics don’t necessarily make you sleepy or induce sleep. However, having a healthy microbiome and supporting the growth of good stomach bacteria is good for your overall gut health (and gut-healing foods can help you get there). Having a healthy gut can help you digest your food better, which has been shown to promote quality sleep. In a way, yes, but popping some probiotics before bed isn’t necessarily going to have you counting sheep.

Can your gut health affect your sleep quality?

You might be wondering, “Can your gut cause insomnia?” and that is a good question, though it might be a bit more complex of an answer. Your tummy can certainly disrupt you, whether that’s gassy cramps, acid reflux causing a burn in your throat, or getting up to go to the bathroom. Typically your body takes a pause on going potty (especially number 2) throughout the night. So, if you’re waking up at night to go poop, you might want to make sure that you’re getting your system right during the day so that there’s no disruption at night.

Things that can get your system regular include eating a diet high in gut-healthy foods, easy-to-digest foods, probiotic foods, and more. Now, you don’t need to be eating your daily recommended fiber right before you dive into bed for a good night’s sleep. In fact, according to the Cleveland Clinic, you should aim to eat your last meal about three hours before you go to bed. This can help your body get to work with digestion since sleep tends to slow digestion, according to the Mayo Clinic.

There are so many gut-healthy foods out there that can support a healthy gut 24/7 and, in turn, help you sleep better. But generally speaking, these gut-healthy foods don’t need to be eaten right before bed for your GI system and stomach bacteria/microbiome to reap the full benefits.

What should I eat before bed for good digestion?

Gut-healing foods, gut-healthy foods, and probiotic foods sometimes have acidity or general pungency in common (think kimchi, sauerkraut, fermented foods). These are admittedly not… foods you want to be eating in front of the fridge from the jar right before you hop into bed. Talk about heartburn, am I right? But they are foods that generally benefit your gut overall. So eating this throughout the day or with meals, in quantities that don’t give you a tummy ache, is good for digestion round the clock.

Secondly, so that you’re not left wondering what to do when food is not digested—do your best to stick to consistent meal times, particularly with dinner. “When the body gets used to eating at around the same time, the release of digestive hormones and relaxation becomes more automated,” says Jones, which leads to easier digestion. “It’s okay to have some variation, but if your body never knows when it should expect to eat, stress hormones may run higher, too—especially if you go too long without eating.”

This higher amount of stress hormones can tend to slow digestion and even promote indigestion. Planning to eat well before your bedtime can give your body time to digest food, so you’re not googling “how to digest food faster.” The truth is that your body needs its own unique time to digest food, and that can vary between people and by the day or meal you eat. Instead of finding out how to digest food faster, planning your meals and bedtime with ample room, rest, and movement, can give your body the tools it needs to digest your food.

The best habits to help digestion at night

There are a few habits that are well worth trying before bed to help your digestion at night and beyond. Here are a few dietitians’ top tips for getting a good night’s rest and keeping your gut happy when you wake up.

1. Enjoy a tummy-soothing ginger or peppermint tea

Say you had a fun night out or a delicious dinner at home full of some not so easy to digest foods. Well, there’s no fault in that because even foods that give us a tummy ache, later on can be downright delicious (hello, mac n cheese, am I right?). And yet, when it comes to wondering what to do when food is not digested or you have a rumbly tummy, you can lean on some foods that naturally soothe the tummy. Peppermint, especially peppermint tea, is not only tasty but it is also known as an antispasmodic, meaning it calms the muscle of the stomach and increases the production of bile, according to Mount Sinai. Bile helps the stomach and your gut microbiome digest food — especially fats.

Another amazing gut-healing food includes Ginger. “Ginger has a calming effect on the digestive tract, and warm beverages may be soothing as well,” says Jones. Specifically, the root is known for helping ease gas and bloating—always a good thing to nip in the bud before you get in bed. It also promotes motility, aka it keeps things moving through your digestive tract, supporting your stomach bacteria and microbiome.

Brew up some ginger or peppermint tea before bed to help soothe your stomach; enjoy a ginger candy after dinner, or just toss some in with your dinnertime vegetables.

2. Try some light stretching or walking

While you might already know stretching or even light yoga is good for digestion, streaming a class at night for even just five minutes can improve gut health and put you to sleep, says Jones. Sometimes it’s not about what gut health foods you’re eating or what probiotic foods you packed into your meals— instead, it could be about moving more. Taking a walk after you eat can improve digestion if waking up with heartburn or running to use the bathroom is a common occurrence for you.

The most important thing, though, is that you really internalize gentle movement. Taking a run or CrossFit class right after eating is not the best idea and can give you a tummy ache with even the most easy-to-digest foods. Instead, light movements offer a chance to stimulate blood flow without igniting your fight-or-flight adrenaline response, which can slow digestion (which we don’t want).

“Just do gentle with low-intensity twist poses, as these may help stimulate blood flow to your core for gastric motility,” she says. “This might be especially helpful if you’re dealing with bloating and constipation, so you’re more likely to be ready to go in the morning,” she adds.

3. Give your brain designated relaxation time

“Many people go to sleep with high stress, never winding down from a long day, or logging off of emails or parent duties minutes before they want to fall asleep. Due to the gut-brain axis, mental stress also stresses out our digestive tracts and vice-versa,” says Jones. This can result in constipation, diarrhea, or an upset stomach, depending on the person. By setting aside five to 10 minutes of meditation or another relaxing activity (like light reading) before bed, you’ll give your brain an opportunity to relax and get your mind off of the stressful stuff before you head off to snooze. That will have big benefits for your digestive health, too.

4. Eat some prunes

“Prunes or dried plums contain magnesium, calcium, and vitamin B6 which help produce melatonin, a hormone that makes us sleepy,” says Lauren Harris-Pincus, RDN, author of The Protein-Packed Breakfast Club. Eat two or three about an hour before bedtime.  This lets you digest them but also get those benefits soon enough. Plus, eating prunes on a regular basis is good for your GI system since they have fiber to keep you regular. And stick to two or three—too many might have you running to the bathroom instead of the bed.

5. Turn off the news

Remember what we said earlier about stress levels? While staying in touch with what’s going on in the world is super important, catch up on the news in the earlier hours. “Since these are trying times, anxiety levels are peaked. Our mind-gut connection is very strong, and our emotions are often experienced as GI discomfort,” says Harris-Pincus. “I’ve been asking clients to avoid the news or Internet surfing for a couple of hours before bed to allow your brain to calm down for sleep,” she says. Your gut will thank you, too.

When it comes to answering the bigger gut health questions like what helps digestion at night, there isn’t a cookie-cutter answer for everyone. Everyone is different, and that includes your tummy. However, these are some helpful starters for trying to get better sleep and have a healthier gut 24/7.

Please allow me to repeat the “two ingredients” bit again, folks—because it’s not a typo or a joke. Lee is the real MVP when it comes to whittling down dessert ingredients so you don’t wind up spending an hour in the kitchen (or an arm and a leg) when you could just be, you know, just eating a brownie. For this particular recipe, those two ingredients are—drumroll, please—dates and peanut butter.

These two components are a power couple and play major roles in many vegan baking recipes, but what you may not know (yet) is that they’re also packed with sleep-supporting magnesium. “Magnesium is a mineral that’s involved in more than 300 processes within the body,” says registered dietitian Amy Gorin, MS, RDN. “We know from research that not getting enough magnesium in your diet can negatively impact sleep.” Apart from supporting your eight hours, magnesium also aids cardiovascular function and supports your muscles, nerves, energy levels, mood, and brain function. So this dessert is putting in some work for your body.

According to the folks at Harvard, the recommended dietary allowance of magnesium for adult men is 400 to 420 milligrams per day, while women need between 310 and 320 milligrams for women (although, you need to consume a teensy bit more when pregnant). Now, let’s get into the specifics of how each brownie ingredient can help get your daily dose of circadian-supporting magnesium, shall we?

First up: dates. A serving of two pitted dates contains about 26 milligrams of magnesium, with medjool dates also contain a solid amount of fiber (about three grams per serving) and—oh snap—as much calcium as a banana. Calcium is another key nutrient for sleep, so don’t write off this shriveled, not-so-aesthetically-appealing fruit. Okay?

Next, of course, is peanut butter. America’s favorite spread contains about 49 milligrams of magnesium per two-tablespoon serving, not to mention plenty of protein (about seven grams per serving), heart-healthy monounsaturated fats, and antioxidants. “Peanut butter is full of protein, fiber, and good-for-you fats. These nutrients help you to stay energized for longer, and the unsaturated fats it contains can be beneficial for heart health,” says Gorin. Peanut butter is a classic for a reason.

A little more on why PB is so good for you:

Some quick mental math—okay, I used a calculator, jeez—tells me 49 plus 26 comes out to about 75 milligrams of magnesium. Meaning, these brownies contain about 19 percent of the daily recommended magnesium intake for men and about 24 percent of the recommended magnesium intake of women per serving. That’s a brownie with a lot of benefits.

If you’re ready to chow down on these gooey, no-bake, foolproof brownies, keep scrolling for Lee’s recipe. Sweet dreams!

2-ingredient vegan peanut butter brownies recipe

Yields eight brownies

Ingredients
1 packed cup of pitted medjool dates
1/2 cup of unsweetened natural peanut butter

1. Line an 8 x 4 inch loaf pan with parchment paper.

2. Add dates to food processor. Pulse until a smooth date paste forms. You may need to use spatula and scrape the sides a few times to help the food processor mix the dates. If your dates are old and no longer soft and moist, you will need to rehydrate them first before using.

3. Add in peanut butter. Pulse until peanut butter is completely incorporated into the dates. Your mixture should look crumbly but when you pinch it together, it should stick.

4. Press mixture into your prepared pan. Use palm of hands to really compress your dough so that it will stick together. You do not need to spread the dough across the entire loaf pan if you want your brownies to be thicker. I left about 1/2 inch of space. You can spread the dough out as much as you want until you reach your desired thickness.

5. Place brownies into fridge for about 30 minutes to 1 hour. This will let the dough firm up, making it easier to slice. Slice and enjoy.

What is a one card tarot reading?

If you’ve never done a single tarot card pull, it involves intuitively selecting one card to inform a question or situation. This tarot 101 technique simply requires a bit of self-reflection (especially if you’re pulling for yourself), and a little bit of research if you’re still brushing up on your tarot card meanings. And according to Maria Sofia Marmanides, astrologer and author of The Oracle Card Journal: A Personalized Record of Your Messages from the Universe, you can use a one card tarot pull for more than yes/no questions, and you don’t have to use a full spread all the time. “It’s a spread like any other in Tarot, but it’s the simplest spread possible—just one card to answer your question,” she says.

“One card pulls can provide as much clarity, while also helping you sharpen intuitive reading skills.” —Maria Sofia Marmanides, tarot reader

“One card pulls can provide as much clarity, while also helping you sharpen intuitive reading skills, Marmanides says. “Think of the one card as describing the entirety of the situation—past, present, and future—to remind us that the solution is often found in the problem. Whatever card you pull, it’s about empowering you to use that energy to move forward or leave it behind with clarity.”

In addition to making folks feel empowered, what are other benefits of doing a one card tarot pull?

Benefits of a one card tarot pull for a reading

1. They’re quick

“One card readings are one of the quickest and most satisfying ways to build a relationship with your deck, especially if you’re just beginning to study tarot,” Marmanides says. She adds that the quickness with which you can do this might lead you to doing more one card tarot pulls—which will, in turn, help you build and more fully trust your intuition as it relates to the messages from the deck.

2. They’re easier to interpret

According to Marmanides, soul searching for answers through tarot can get more complicated when you add more and more cards. When you only have one card, you don’t have to worry about synthesizing the messages they’re all trying to give you. “The one card method is a fairly disciplined practice in that by only drawing one card, you are building your trust with the Universe that the answer you need in that moment is the one you will receive,” Marmanides says.

3. You can focus on the energy of the card

When you do a tarot spread with multiple cards, you might miss a message from the primary card because, again, you’ll spend energy synthesizing what you got instead of fully embracing the message of a single card. For instance, if you pull the Justice card in a multiple card spread, it’s possible you’ll miss its message of balance and fairness with self and others if you’re too focused on the other card you pulled and how that fits with the rest of the cards in the reading. It also gives you the opportunity to “grow more comfortable” with the misunderstood cards, Marmanides says, like the Death tarot card (which, for the record, doesn’t signal you or someone you love is going to die).

And just a reminder: don’t forget to cleanse tarot cards after each use, so they’re ready to go for your next reading.

All that being said, how do you master the one card pull effectively? Below, Marmanides shares three easy steps for getting the clearest answers when doing a one card tarot pull.

The right way to pull one tarot card, in three easy steps

1. Lay some simple ground rules with yourself

Before you pull your single tarot card, lay some ground rules for yourself. “Think about what your intuition is telling you about the answer before you even pull your card,” Marmanides says.

While we’re supposed to look at the tarot guides for wisdom or guidance, we also want to follow our gut. “Ultimately the One Card method is about growing your relationship with the card meanings and building your trust with the deck [and trusting] that it will answer your question in due time,” she says.

So whether you’re doing a tarot card spread or simply tarot pulling, you want to make like the High Priestess and think inward; focus on the ways you want to be led, how you feel about a particular situation already, and pour that energy into your reading.

2. Ask a very clear, specific, and heartfelt question

“Then see what you’re being invited to understand about the situation that you may not be consciously aware of,” Marmanides says.

There are a few important things to highlight here. First, you want to make sure that you’re asking a question that you want an objective answer to, not confirmation of the answer you want to receive. Second, you want to avoid grabbing another, “what do you mean?” clarification card (if you’re going to trust the deck, trust the deck). Lastly, Marmanides says, it’s crucial to make sure that you’re focusing the questions on yourself.

“Of course, you can ask for advice on people in your life, like a boss, a friend, a crush, a lover, or a family member,” she says, offering this caveat: Keep the questions related to your relationship with that person instead of asking about them personally.

A one card spread, Marmanides says, is best used when you have a very simple, straightforward question that you want a clear-cut answer to. Here are her examples:

1. Will I get this job?
2. How does my boss/friend/lover feel about me?
3. Is this person I just met going to be a serious relationship for me?
4. What do I need to know about [insert situation]?
5. What am I being invited to focus on today?

3. Meditate on the card you pulled

After you shuffle your tarot cards and pull a single tarot card, consider “the artwork, the symbolism, the traditional meaning, and also any personal meanings that come up for you,” Marmanides says. “What I think is best is to then write down the card and those keywords somewhere—your notes app, a tarot journal, a sticky note—to refer back to and see how the answer will manifest in your life.”

When you’re working with a single tarot card, you have the ability to really delve into what its message could be. And, again, grant yourself the kindness to be honest about the tarot card meanings.

“Particularly if you’re pulling this card for yourself, it’s about treating yourself like you would a client,” Marmanides says. “Don’t shortchange yourself from fully exploring and explaining the situation to yourself, using that card as the framework for your advice, as if you were telling it to someone else.”

And while it may be tempting, don’t pull another card if you don’t like or understand the one you drew. Certain tarot card meanings may give you pause or discomfort, but instead of pulling a new card you should reflect on its true meaning.”No one wants to pull The Seven of Swords for ‘Can I trust my partner?’ as that could indicate a betrayal or someone who is not being honest with you, but it is telling you something about how you feel about the situation,” she says. Sit with the symbolism and tarot card meanings. Trust the cards and the process, and don’t take short cuts by pulling more cards until your next one card tarot pull.

How many cards should you use in a tarot reading? Sometimes one isn’t enough.

Sometimes, people are faced with problems that seem a little too complex for just a one card tarot pull—regardless of whether they’re tarot experts or tarot newbies. For instance, let’s say you asked “What will happen with X?” in a one card tarot pull.

“Once you have your answer, you may want to know ‘why,’ ‘when’ or ‘how,’” Marmanides says. “Subsequent cards can help shed more detail to the base card’s answer.” Those subsequent cards, essentially, are what make up multiple card spreads. There are different types of spreads, of course—including the Celtic Cross spread—but we’ll be focusing on two, three, and four card tarot spreads in this section.

Two card spreads

“I like to use two cards spreads for this-or-that situations, where you’re faced with a choice,” Marmanides says. “Based on the card in either position A or B, you weigh how each card intuitively makes you feel.”

As far as questions for two card tarot spreads, Marmanides suggests:

1. Should I quit or stay at my current job?
2. Should I move or stay in my current home?
3. Should I travel to X this summer?

Marmanides adds that two card spreads are also helpful when you have a situation (which card A represents) for which you’d like advice (card B tells you “how to meet that challenge,” Marmanides says).

Three card spreads

A three card spread is commonly done when you want to know about your past, present, and future. This type of spread “is really wonderful because it confirms the situation, validates present circumstances and emotions, and then offers a glimpse into how the energy is shifting in the near future,” Marmanides says. To be sure, card A represents the past, card B the present, and card C the future.

Four card spreads

Similar to how the two card spread can give you advice for moving forward, so, too, can the four card spread. “Adding a fourth card to this three card spread is great, too, to show if the tarot has any insight on what advice you should follow,” Marmanides says. She adds that depending on the card pulled, you can take action or be more passive. For example, if you draw a wands card, you’ll know to actively move forward because wands represent manifestation and the element of fire.

FAQs

How often should you do a one card tarot pull compared to a spread with more cards?

The good news is that you can do a one card tarot pull as often as you’d like. Marmanides suggests pulling a single tarot card at least once a week. Here’s a short and fun process you could try each week after you pick a tarot card: Start with a simple a question, for example ‘What am I being invited to focus on this week?’ and then journal about your initial reactions. At the end of the week, Marmanides says to reflect on how the card you pulled resonated.

Are there any tarot card meanings that are particularly impactful if you get them during a one card tarot pull?

Certain cards may hold important meanings for different people, for example someone’s birth card. In the case of pulling a single tarot card, any Major Arcana cards you draw is worth paying attention to. Drawing these cards are an indication that events aren’t set in stone and continue to unfold. “That usually means the situation is potent and has a very important message for you, so spend time researching that card and understand its astrological or numerological symbolism,” Marmanides says.

Is a one card tarot pull the same as a one card a day reading?

Not exactly. Pulling a single tarot card each day is typically done as part of a grounding or meditation practice, Marmanides says, whereas doing a one tarot card pull is about being focusing intensely on a question and answering it with a single card.

How many tarot cards does a person have?

According to Marmanides, there is no set number of cards or decks a person should own. You can have decks that serve different purposes; for example, you might use one specific deck for love readings, and another for one card tarot pulls. The key is to find a deck you love and to use it so it also becomes a deck you trust. To get started, you might seek out decks where you appreciate the artwork and visuals.

Researchers who recently published findings of two studies from the peer-reviewed journal Aging and Mental Health challenge this stereotype with data. According to the research conducted in each of these studies, learning new things as you age is great for your health—especially when it comes to your brain.

The studies conducted with adults over the age of 55 found that those who engaged in learning multiple skills simultaneously—such as learning a new language, photography, and how to use an iPad—showed significant improvement in cognitive functioning. (The approach was to select activities that cater to diverse interests and hold practical value in daily life.)

Those who engaged in learning multiple skills simultaneously—such as learning a new language, photography, and how to use an iPad—showed significant improvement in cognitive functioning.

What’s more, the results specifically showed that learning multiple new things at once led to higher cognitive scores three, six, and 12 months after the study had taken place. Meaning participants showed lasting improvement up to an entire year later. And get this: They scored cognitively similar to undergraduate college students who similarly been absorbing high amounts of information simultaneously.

How learning impacts brain health as you age

“Neuroplasticity, the capacity of the human brain to adapt and learn new skills, remains an essential factor in promoting cognitive resilience and maintaining overall cognitive well-being throughout one’s life,” says Elisabeth Bahr, OTD, MS, OTR, a doctor of occupational therapy. Learning new skills simultaneously creates new neural pathways in the brain, so it makes sense that it would engage more parts of your brain than going about life as usual.

According to Dr. Bahr, when you think about learning multiple things at once, you also have to use parts of your brain that structure your time, remember items that you need, plan where and when you need to be, organize your memory of each subject, and build upon that knowledge. “The study focused on executive function, which encompasses working memory and cognitive control, and verbal episodic memory, both of which can be impacted by the natural aging process,” she says. The fact that older adults scored cognitively similarly to undergraduate students is promising, especially when considering the cognitive challenges older folks can face with age.

Dr. Bahr adds that there are a lot of encouraging details about this (albeit small) study, and that those interested in optimizing their brain functioning as they age by engaging in new activities might considering seeking guidance from an occupational therapist. They’re professionals in helping people participate, regain, or strategize accommodations they might need to incorporate into their lifestyle after an injury or to cope with an existing disability.

What to know before diving ‘head first’

Some folks may need to proceed with caution when it comes to pursuing rehabilitative activities or cognitively engaging activities. Namely, it’s important to have clearance from a care provider if you or a loved one is thinking about engaging in something similar and there is any injury, traumatic brain injury, cognitive condition, or other extenuating circumstance that could worsen as a result of increased exertion of mind or body.

It can also be emotionally challenging to embark on a journey of learning new things—and frustration can get in the way of committing to a practice long-term. Getting a good night’s sleep after an intensive learning experience can help the brain commit the lesson or experience to memory better than without quality sleep. “It’s important to prioritize shuteye following intensive learning sessions, as this enhances memory retention and the consolidation of new information,” says Dr. Bahr.

Sometimes it can feel silly to get super into a new hobby, or a few—but this research suggests there’s merit to retaining curiosity and a desire to learn new things. This is your sign to consider taking that extra trip to the art supply store or finally trying out water aerobics. A healthy brain loves having fun, after all.

“If someone is obsessed with their body or someone’s obsessed with the food part of their life, it’s because the other two cornerstones aren’t being nourished—the emotional wellbeing/mental health or the spiritual growth,” Snyder shared on the latest episode of Well+Good’s beauty podcast, Routine Rundown, hosted by Well+Good senior beauty editor Zoë Weiner. “If we wanna have great skin, if we wanna have a glow to us, if we wanna have a kindness, a softness, a magnetism—all of this is really beautiful—you build it from the inner energy.”

While Snyder’s beauty routine does include products like vitamin C serums and exfoliants, it also gives her time to focus on her emotional and spiritual well-being. Learn about three of the ways she does this below, and get all of her tips by listening to the full episode on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen here:

1. Establish solid routines

Snyder approaches wellness with four cornerstones in mind: food, body, emotional well-being, and spiritual growth. “When I do my morning and my evening routine, it always includes the cornerstones,” says Snyder. “There’s meditation first thing, which is spiritual, and then there’s some journaling, which is the emotional. And then for food, I’m taking in hot water with lemon first thing, which the vitamin C and the enzymes are great for your liver, great for detoxification, great for your skin. And then the Glowing Green Smoothie when I start to feel hungry…and from a skincare perspective, I keep it simple. Cleanser, vitamin C serum, moisturizer. I don’t use a ton of products, but the ones I use are potent.”

2. Take your time and be present during your routines

It’s so easy to rush through your routines, especially when you’re low on time. But Snyder encourages mindful touch as a way to stay grounded and present during our beauty routines. “It’s really important that yes, we honor the bodily temple, we honor the times that we are coming into it. And so a big part of that is touch,” she says. “And in the Ayurvedic system, they say that the most powerful anti-aging practice, if you wanna say that, is self-massage because it soothes your nervous system…So when we’re doing these practices it’s not just rushing through another to-do list. And if you find yourself hurried…you just take a couple of deep breaths and you come back to this moment and you just wanna really treat it as sacred time.”

3. Be kind to yourself—always

“True beauty is letting your uniqueness come forward and being really comfortable with yourself,” says Snyder. When “you’re not beating yourself up every day, you’re not trying to be like someone else, you’re not living in your mind of anxiety and jealousy and envy and comparison all the time. You get to this real anchor, this place where you feel great and it’s very magnetic, right?”

She says we achieve this by dialing into emotional and spiritual well-being.

“A lot of people struggle, with emotional well-being, which we could say is mental health, right? When there are circular thought patterns, we find ourselves feeling like we’re not enough, we’re over-emphasizing the looks again because we don’t feel good on the insides. We’re trying to constantly change the outside,” she says. “We can work on the outside too, but the ironic thing is when we work on this comfortability—you glow, there is literally more light in your system.”

This study, which was conducted by researchers from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP), adds to the mountain of evidence about the impacts of positive parental/child relationships on our lives. It found that the participants who reported higher levels of communication, warmth, academic expectations, time spent together, relationship or communication satisfaction, and inductive discipline (i.e. positive reinforcement and natural consequences) with both their parents also reported having much higher levels of general health than those who rated these relationships low.

The study was conducted over a period of 14 years and involved more than 15,000 adults. They filled out questionnaires about their relationships with their primary caregivers when they were between 12 and 17 years-old. When these same people were between 24 and 32 years old, they self-reported their current levels of depression, optimism, stress, substance abuse, nicotine dependence, and other measures of general health. The study also found lower levels of unexpected pregnancy among the people who reported positive relationships with their parents.

You may be thinking back to your teenage years and shuddering in embarrassment, but you did a lot of growing during that period. The study examined this chapter of life because “there is stunning physical growth, remarkable brain maturation, and so many tremendous new opportunities for learning about the world and how to function in it” when people are between 10 and 20 years-old, says Carol A. Ford, MD, chief of the Craig-Dalsimer Division of Adolescent Medicine at CHOP and lead researcher of the study. “Young people are developing emotional maturity and making decisions and choices about behaviors that can influence lifelong trajectories of health,” she adds.

Dr. Ford and her colleagues looked at people who functioned in parental roles as well, not just mothers and fathers. (Dr. Ford says 75 percent of the participants were at home with their biological parents and 25 percent were not.) What mattered wasn’t necessarily the biological relationships, but rather the consistent love, support, role modeling, and guidance people received (or didn’t) from the people who fulfilled the roles of their primary caregivers. These “strong relationships with grandparents, adoptive parents, or other adults functioning as parents in the home are important and helpful,” Dr. Ford adds.

But what if healthy parent-adolescent bonding wasn’t your reality?

If you grew up in a home with tough family dynamics and a difficult relationship with your parents, don’t fret because Dr. Ford says that the findings do not in any way mean that people with poor parental relationships are destined for poor health outcomes down the road—just that teens who didn’t have these positive bonds require extra support.

Dr. Ford points out that community interventions and the presence of other adults like extended family members or other trusted adults in the community like schools, after-school programs, sports, and churches can also positively impact teens and their health in real time, as well as in the future.

“Sometimes there are other adults who really step up to help, and it is important to appreciate their roles,” she says. She also points out that adults who have been able to “successfully navigate challenging times during their adolescence are sometimes exceptionally understanding of adolescent hardships and choose to help other young people on their journey.”

“Even those who experience significant childhood trauma can—with appropriate support and perseverance—create new patterns that lead to better mental and physical health in the short and long-term.”—Carla Marie Manly, PhD, clinical psychologist

This extra support can also help adults, too. With work and support, it’s possible to mend wounds from difficult family dynamics. Carla Marie Manly, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Joy From Fear, focuses much of her work on healing from past traumas, including difficult childhoods, and says that she’s seen many people do so.

“Although negative childhood environments and a lack of connective parenting certainly take their toll, humans have the capacity to be incredibly resilient,” Dr. Manly says. “Even those who experience significant childhood trauma can—with appropriate support and perseverance—create new patterns that lead to better mental and physical health in the short and long-term.” She says that it’s possible to create positive patterns and behaviors in the brain that promote better overall health, physically and mentally, and recommends working with a therapist to begin.

How to get support to heal from tough family dynamics as an adult

Healing as an adult from trauma you experienced as an adolescent or teen takes work, but is possible with help and guidance. Kara Kays, LMFT, regional clinic director at Thriveworks, emphasizes that while it’s important to think about the past, what really matters is focusing on the future. “We are the creators of our own experience, so if you’re looking at childhood and adolescence what’s really important for decreasing the risk now is taking care of yourself,” she says.

What does that look like? Therapy, including inner child and inner teen work, can help. According to Dr. Manly, parenting-related childhood wounds that are “mild or moderate” can heal over time through a combination of healing processes like journaling, mindful self-reflection, and forgiveness. She also says reading self-help books can help, too. Kays suggests working on self-awareness and emotional regulation skills to decrease the risk of childhood trauma haunting you later in your life.

However, Dr. Manly says psychotherapy is a better fit for those working through deeper, more-intense trauma related to their childhoods. “In my clinical practice, I find that an attachment-based method blended with CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) can work wonders for healing childhood wounds,” she says. “As an EMDR clinician, I also find this a very helpful approach when trauma has occurred.”

If you grew up with difficult family dynamics, Dr. Manly emphasizes that it’s not your fault and that you should not blame yourself because the kind of home you grew up in is beyond your control. However, you do have some degree of control of the future. “We can’t change the past, but we certainly have the power to change our inner and outer worlds to foster health, well-being, and joy,” she says.

What is an anxiety-related thought trap?

A thought trap that triggers or worsens anxiety is one kind of cognitive distortion, “an exaggerated or irrational thought that has the power to negatively distort how we see reality,” clinical neuropsychology PhD resident Nawal Mustafa previously told Well+Good. In particular, an anxiety-related thought trap, or anxiety trap, will distort your reality in a way that makes you feel more anxious about the future, even to the point of keeping you from taking action or moving forward with your life.

Indeed, according to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of Joy from Fear, these negative thinking patterns have “incredible power to affect us physically, mentally, and emotionally.” For starters, the activation of your fight-or-flight nervous system triggered by anxiety can leave you sweating, nauseated, feeling jittery, or short of breath with a racing heart. And on the mental-emotional side of things, maintaining even a baseline level of anxiety can lead to self-doubt and low self-esteem.

How anxiety traps can become especially ingrained in our thinking

Because feelings of anxiety can often get intertwined with healthy striving and wanting to be the best version of yourself, it can be easy to gloss over them—particularly in the workplace where you’re being counted on to succeed, says Morra Aarons-Mele, author of The Anxious Achiever: Turn Your Biggest Fears into Your Leadership Superpower and host of The Anxious Achiever podcast. This is especially poignant for the people with high-functioning anxiety who may feel like if they don’t feel anxious, nervous, or agitated at work, they’re somehow letting themselves off the hook or at risk of becoming a slacker.

“[Anxiety thought traps] can become so habitual that we don’t consider their harm.” —Morra Aarons-Mele, author of The Anxious Achiever

“When you’re an anxious achiever, you can sort of forget how to operate without anxiety, especially because in our very productivity-driven world, you often get rewarded for operating with anxiety if you’re getting your work done,” says Aarons-Mele. In turn, the thought traps that fuel anxiety can become a part of your regular thinking—something you just learn to push through, rather than investigate and dismantle. “These thoughts become so habitual that we don’t consider their harm,” she says.

But, as noted above, harboring anxious thoughts is detrimental to both body and mind. Not to mention, operating with constant anxiety at work can fuel fatigue and burnout; trigger crippling perfectionism and imposter syndrome; and reinforce the damaging idea that your worth is based on what you can achieve.

In turn, it’s important to both identify and disrupt anxiety thought traps whenever they creep up. Below, find five of the most common anxiety traps to watch out for, plus advice for how to escape them.

5 thought traps that fuel anxiety, and how to combat them

1. Catastrophizing

This anxiety trap is characterized by always assuming that any situation will result in the worst-case scenario, even if you have little or no evidence to think so. To make matters, well, worse, it’s also possible that believing the worst will happen becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to self-sabotage and other behaviors that fuel a negative outcome, says Dr. Manly.

The fix: A powerful tool to stop catastrophizing in its tracks is to simply call it out and redirect your brain to a more productive path by considering the other possible outcomes. That is, if you find yourself thinking the worst, instead push yourself to envision what would be the best or even a neutral outcome of the situation. You don’t necessarily have to believe that these positive or neutral things will happen; simply considering them can help pull you out of the anxiety spiral, says Dr. Manly.

Factual information can be a powerful tool, too. It’s harder to believe in a theoretical worst-case outcome if you’re looking at facts that prove something different may be true. For example, if you’re catastrophizing about your financial situation, Aarons-Mele says getting some concrete numbers together and seeking advice from a financial expert can help put your worries into more realistic perspective.

2. All-or-nothing thinking

When you’re caught in this anxiety trap, there isn’t any nuance. Everything is the worst or the best; you’re either blessed or doomed. But in reality, life isn’t so cut and dried—and falling into the all-or-nothing trap can prevent you from seeing all of the interesting variations and subtleties of things, says Aarons-Mele. Plus, believing that things are either great or terrible can lead you to think that if you don’t do something perfectly, it’s not worth trying at all. Cue: damaging perfectionistic behaviors.

The fix: This thought trap springs, in part, from a tendency toward judgement—both of yourself and of others. So, Dr. Manly advises trying to consider at least one or two alternative perspectives from your own whenever the all-or-nothing tendency rears its head. Keeping an open mind to other perspectives can help you realize that there’s a lot of distance and opportunity between the worst and best outcomes, which can be a useful tool for neutralizing such extreme thinking.

3. Labeling

This anxiety trap is marked by calling yourself extreme negative names like lazy, undeserving, or incompetent—especially in scenarios where self-criticism is entirely unwarranted. (Consider receiving a constructive comment on a work project, and instantly assuming that this makes you a terrible employee.)

In addition to fueling anxiety, such negative self-talk can spark a spiral of negativity, potentially triggering depressive thoughts and lowering your self-esteem. “When we listen to the inner critic—the voice that wants to tell us we are unworthy or unlovable—we punish ourselves in the unkindest of ways,” says Dr. Manly.

The fix: When you catch yourself calling yourself an unkind name, pause for a few deep breaths to acknowledge the label, and then redirect to a more positive one. This is a technique called thought-stopping that can help you remember that you’re not your worst moments and that it’s important to give yourself grace. In other moments, it’s also helpful to actively practice positive self-talk as a means to bolster your self-esteem against more critical scenarios.

4. Ruminating and overthinking

Aarons-Mele calls this anxiety trap “an anxious person’s best friend” for how commonly it surfaces. Also known as “stewing,” ruminating or overthinking is all about revisiting the same situations over and over again in your mind and marinating on them. Because carefully thinking things through before acting is often something that high-achievers do, it can be difficult for these folks, in particular, to identify when this helpful thinking takes a turn into rumination territory, says Aarons-Mele.

Often, overthinking also involves thinking about something negative that happened in the past and that you can’t change, which just makes the process even more futile and steers you away from resolution. “When we use our energy to engage in unhelpful repetitive thoughts, we are robbing ourselves of the ability to put our thoughts toward positive directions,” says Dr. Manly.

The fix: To stop yourself from overthinking, start by grounding yourself using your five senses (try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to home in on things you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell) or embrace a distraction that’ll pull you out of the thinking spiral, like listening to a favorite song or zoning out to a comforting TV show, says Dr. Manly.

From there, practice psychological distancing by considering the situation you were (over)thinking about from a third-party perspective, like that of a friend, or by scheduling time to consider it tomorrow or on another day. You can also try purposefully shifting your thoughts to something else “in a direction that feels right to you,” says Dr. Manly.

5. Discounting the positive

You’ve fallen into this thought trap when you find ways to make the positive experiences in your life not really “count,” either by rejecting them outright or convincing yourself that any success or achievement happened purely by chance.

The fix: The best way to fight this negative thinking loop is to actively savor any positive moment—however small it may be—whenever it arrives, says Dr. Manly. Instead of writing off your own role in this good thing happening, also take the time to consider how your actions and skills made this positive event or feeling possible, she adds.

It’s also helpful to keep a physical file of positive moments or wins, including compliments or praise from others and personal moments of strength that you record. Being able to reference your capabilities at any point can help you build confidence and reduce the tendency to write off successes.

While each Blue Zone is unique in how exactly they go about their health-promoting daily doings, they share several key commonalities—including not (but limited to) sticking to a plant-forward diet, prioritizing regular movement, and maintaining strong connections to friends, family, and their community at large. Another underlying factor that links the Blue Zones together is their habitual expression of gratitude, whether before eating meals or on an otherwise consistent basis.

According to Blue Zones expert Dan Buettner, gratitude always comes into play in the world’s longevity hot spots. “Research shows that people are happier if they are grateful for the positive things in their lives, rather than worrying about what might be missing,” he shares in his book Thrive: Finding Happiness the Blue Zones Way.

Keep reading to see how gratitude is linked to happier days that can culminate into a long life well-lived. Plus: simple yet productive ways to reap (and share) the benefits of gratitude on the daily.

The longevity-boosting benefits of gratitude are bountiful

According to a 2019 study published in Frontiers in Psychology, gratitude and life satisfaction have a reciprocal relationship: “Higher levels of gratitude increase life satisfaction, which in turn increases gratitude, leading to a positive spiral.” Moreover, both elements are associated with everything from better health outcomes to stronger bonds and prosocial behavior—which themselves all circle back to longevity.

According to Brigitte Zeitlin, RD, founder of BZ Nutrition, gratitude releases oxytocin (aka the “love hormone”), which permits us to feel better and become healthier. “Gratitude and the oxytocin from it helps to reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood and sleep patterns, and even boost immunity,” she shares. Simply put, it feels good to feel good.

“Gratitude and the oxytocin from it helps to reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood and sleep patterns, and even boost immunity.”—Brigitte Zeitlin, RD

One of the best ways to incorporate more gratitude into your daily life, à la the Blue Zones, is to practice mindful eating. “Practicing gratitude with mindful, inclusive eating habits creates a healthier relationship with food. That feel-good oxytocin response becomes associated with these specific mindful eating habits,” Zeitlin continues. “The better you feel about your food choices and eating habits, the more likely you are to maintain them, and the more confident you become in how you take care of yourself.” Similarly, the dietitian says that a healthy relationship with food can facilitate a stronger self-image and more respect for your body.

“The better you feel about your food choices and eating habits, the more likely you are to maintain them, and the more confident you become in how you take care of yourself.”

Yet the benefits of gratitude (and the oxytocin boost from it) aren’t limited to yourself only. “We want to show ourselves gratitude, but we want to spread that gratitude around,” Zeitlin says. “Showing someone else gratitude releases oxytocin for them, so the health benefits are communal.”

Per a 2014 study, “gratitude and its expression provides behavioral and psychological ‘glue’ to bind individuals closer together,” courtesy of oxytocin. Additional research supports the notion that communicating gratitude to others can promote stronger social bonds, which in turn supports physical and mental health while promoting longevity.

“This is why the Blue Zone communities thrive so much: They are spreading gratitude and feel-good hormones around,” Zeitlin explains.

4 tips to start your own gratitude practice

Clearly, the wide-ranging benefits of practicing gratitude are too good to pass up. To reap them for yourself, follow these simple tips.

1. Start small

Zeitlin notes that people may get tripped up by thinking they need to focus on big-picture items. However, she clarifies that being thankful for the little things can also lead to wellness wins, sharing the analogy of a football game. “Those players are grateful for every single 10 yards they gain, and not only when they make a touchdown. They know that the touchdowns don’t come without the 10 yards in between them and their goal,” she explains.

With that in mind, Zeitlin advises that we all “get grateful for the mini-moments and acknowledge the micro-wins.”

2. Aim for three things you’re grateful for each day

To lead a long and happy life, Zeitlin advises recognizing at least three things you’re grateful for on a daily basis. Being conscious of what you’re grateful for—and clearly delineating them on paper or out loud, even if you’re on your own—is a crucial step.

Need inspo to lead the way? “If you’re new to practicing gratitude, I suggest using a journal with prompts—such as the Five-Minute Journal—which guides you with baby steps,” Zeitlin shares.

3. Integrate gratitude seamlessly into your routine

To make your gratitude practice habitual, find ways to naturally incorporate it into your regimen. For instance, you can take cues from the Blue Zones by looking at your plate and honing in on food-focused specifics you’re thankful for before noshing. Perhaps it’s an appreciation for the labor and care it took for the food to make it to your plate, enjoying the colors and smells of the meal you’ve prepared, or getting excited for the nourishment and delicious flavors your food will provide. “Once you are in a groove with a gratitude practice, like flossing your teeth, it just becomes part of your day,” says Zeitlin.

4. Speak up

Again, it pays to communicate gratitude towards others to make all parties feel good. “Thank the barista for your morning latte. Thank your friend for tagging you in that funny Instagram post,” Zeitlin advises. You truly have nothing to lose—and rather so much to gain—by sharing kind and gracious vibes to any and all people you cross paths with.

How the traits of your zodiac sign can inform your biggest fear

The key characteristics underscoring your sun sign—aka the zodiac sign for which you’d read a horoscope—including its element (Earth, fire, water, or air) and modality (cardinal, mutable, or fixed) play a role in shaping your outlook on life. And it’s that unique outlook that can help determine what really scares you more than anything else, aka your biggest fear.

For example, Taurus is a fixed Earth sign, which means that Taureans love the grounded security that comes with planning and predictability; it makes sense, then, that the exact opposite of all that, spontaneity, could be something they fear deeply. By a similar token, Aries is a cardinal fire sign, which means that Aries is an intense self-starter that leads with gusto; in turn, being trapped in any scenario that inhibits their forward momentum may be one of their biggest fears.

“‘[The twelfth house] includes the unconscious realms that deal with dreams, nightmares, and anxieties.”—Maria Sofia Marmanides, astrologer

To understand just how the biggest fear of your zodiac sign may manifest, it’s also helpful to note the sign that rules its 12th astrological house (which is also the one that comes right before it in the zodiac calendar). This house is all about what’s hidden underneath the self we present to the world, says astrologer Maria Sofia Marmanides. “It includes the unconscious realms that deal with dreams, nightmares, and anxieties.” In turn, the sign that rules over it can inform your deepest fears and concerns.

To return to the Taurus example, Taureans fear spontaneity in part because they value planning so deeply and in part because brash, impulsive Aries is the ruler of their 12th house—and in turn, Aries traits inform their fears. Similarly, Aries’s fear of being slowed down comes not only from Aries’s fiery nature, but also the presence of Pisces in their 12th house. An empathic water sign, Pisces is all about dreaming, letting go, and submitting to the collective unconsciousness (rather than taking control)—and it’s precisely these things that Aries most fears.

An important caveat: There’s plenty more that goes into the formation of our fears beyond astrology alone. In addition to personality, your genetics, upbringing, life history, and current life experiences can shape your fears, says clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of Joy from Fear.

Though learning what is typically the biggest fear for your zodiac sign can help you better identify this fear in action (or notice when you might be succumbing to it), you’re also not necessarily doomed to feel this fear, either right now or in the future. “Given our capacity for free will, we are able to shift aspects of ourselves that we might fear,” says Dr. Manly. That said, if you’re finding that a fear of yours is disrupting your daily life, it’s worth seeking the care of a mental-health professional, who can help dismantle it or make it more tolerable.

With this in mind, read on for insights into what your biggest fear may be, as determined by the traits of your zodiac sign, as well as star-sanctioned advice for facing and overcoming it.

Your biggest fear, based on your zodiac sign

Aries: fear of being stuck

The perception of not being able to gain forward momentum is your biggest fear, Aries, especially as it relates to accomplishing goals, says astrologer Celeste Brooks. Bold and dynamic, yours is a sign with serious self-starter energy, so it only makes sense that not being able to work toward something or be a trailblazer would be scary to you.

As noted above, this fear is also rooted in the fact that water-sign Pisces falls in your 12th house. “Pisces is fluid and dreamy, and not really prone to taking charge,” says Marmanides. “Pisces energy invites us to surrender control, which is likely very uncomfortable and scary for an Aries.”

To work past this, it’s important to remember that you don’t need to do everything yourself, says Brooks. If you’re struggling with making progress on a personal project, you can—and should—ask for support.

Taurus: fear of unpredictability and spontaneity

Material security is very important to you, Taurus, as the ruler of the second house of resources. Any threat against that may be terrifying to you, says Brooks. “No matter how many resources you have, you could still harbor this feeling of concern about having enough,” she says.

Your deep-seated appreciation of security could also stoke in you a fear of spontaneity, says Marmanides. And as noted above, you can thank impulsive Aries in your 12th house for this. “Aries energy is like jumping off the cliff and dealing with the consequences later, whereas Taurus would never do that because they always like to think things through,” she says.

Even so, it’s helpful to get comfortable with leaving some things up to chance; after all, you can’t control everything in life. That’s why Brooks suggests figuring out ways to take more (low-level) risks as a means to put your fear of spontaneity aside.

Gemini: fear of boredom

Above anything else, you’re bound to fear boredom, curious Gemini. In large part, that’s because you’re a mutable (aka change-loving) air sign that takes a cerebral approach to the world. Chances are, you feel this “constant need to be intellectually stimulated or to find any number of distractions to stave off boredom,” says Brooks.

Also fueling that fear is the presence of grounded Taurus in your 12th house. Taurus is all about a steady, well-plotted climb with no surprises—which is not how you prefer to operate at all. “You have a ton of ideas and are a social chatterbox, which makes the idea of stagnation something you can’t easily tolerate,” says Marmanides.

To get more comfortable without constant entertainment or stimulation, try spending more time sitting still and keeping your own company with a meditation practice, suggests Brooks.

Cancer: fear of not being needed

Nurturing loved ones and making them feel safe is one of the key ways you derive meaning in life, Cancer. So, not being needed and loved in return is likely a major fear of yours. “Cancer is a very sentimental, nostalgic sign full of emotions and feelings,” says Marmanides. In turn, you really value strong bonds among your loved ones and may be deeply afraid of anything less.

Gemini, which resides in your 12th house of the unconscious, is basically the polar opposite of all that. While Gemini is social, it’s also a fun and frivolous sign and doesn’t hold onto anything too tightly. These loose bonds are precisely what you’re bound to fear. “If something doesn’t feel like it lasts or like it’s meaningful, that’ll be tough for you to handle,” says Marmanides.

To lessen this fear of not being deeply connected to or needed by your loved ones, practice an exercise of self-love or self-compassion (like positive mirror talk), and let your family know how they might reassure you of their love.

Leo: fear of not being noticed and admired

Your greatest fear is being perceived as ordinary and not worthy of admiration, Leo. One of your strongest traits is confidence, and your fire-sign energy is what gives you the drive to go after what you want—but you also may feel like it doesn’t really matter if nobody notices. (After all, you’re the zodiac’s performer, and you require an adoring audience to feel good.)

Part of that fear is informed by the presence of caring Cancer in your 12th house. “Deep inside and underneath the layers of outward performance, there’s this inner Cancerian need to be loved,” says Marmanides. In other words, you can’t be the true-Leo center of attention unless there are people on the sidelines willing to give that attention to you.

To manage the fear that your presence will go unappreciated, Brooks suggests taking up a new hobby that involves a key strength of yours. The process of embracing something new—and being good at it—will help you create some self-recognition.

Virgo: fear of making mistakes

Given your meticulous and detail-oriented nature, it may come as no surprise to you that your biggest fear is that of making mistakes, Virgo.

Part of the reason for that fear comes from performer Leo in your 12th house. Because Leo is all about being seen, you especially fear having your mistakes be perceived by others, says Marmanides. More broadly, “any scenario in which you’re being put into the spotlight” may be a scary one for you, she says. (But that’s especially the case if the spotlight reveals to others a rare mistake or lapse in judgment on your end.)

To lessen your fear of imperfection, Brooks actually suggests trying to embrace small mistakes as evidence of your humanness and reminding yourself of how inconsequential many of these mistakes really are.

Libra: fear of being alone

As a deeply social being, your biggest fear is likely that of being totally alone, Libra. Yours is a relationship-focused sign, and you derive serious value from both existing among other people and creating balance within those relationships. In turn, the concept of not being able to connect with others or find social harmony is likely a very scary one.

The presence of meticulous Virgo in your 12th house only fuels that fear of imbalance with or disconnection from others. “How things appear is very important to Libra, so when things get out of whack, it’s going to be triggering and destabilizing for you,” says Marmanides. Indeed, the desire for perfect balance in relationships—and the fear of anything less—is where Virgo in your 12th house shows up.

To lessen the hold of that fear, it’s important to get comfortable with being alone, says Brooks. Rather than an indication of relationship problems, try reframing aloneness as a purposeful choice you’re making for yourself, perhaps by planning solo outings (aka self-dates).

Scorpio: fear of vulnerability

Complete vulnerability is your biggest fear, Scorpio. Of all the zodiac signs, you are perhaps the most emotionally deep, which is also why you tend to be the most secretive, says Brooks. The idea of not having any method of concealment—having to put all those emotions and thoughts out into the open—likely terrifies you. (After all, this kind of vulnerability requires ceding some control to others, and that’s something you’re not typically willingly to do.)

Part of the reason why stems from the presence of social Libra in your 12th house. It’s the very need among Libras to be in the company of others that fuels your fear of being fully perceived, says Marmanides. “Libra’s modus operandi is, ‘How can I find my other half, or balance my scale?’ which is precisely what you are so afraid of doing, for the fear of losing yourself in another person.”

To get more comfortable laying your cards on the table, practice being emotionally open with the people whom you know you can trust, says Brooks. Actually vocalizing how you feel can help chip away at your internal wall and allow you to realize that enacting total control over your life is an illusion, anyway.

Sagittarius: fear of restricted freedom

As the zodiac’s resident explorer, you really relish the freedom to see the world and do as you please, Sagittarius. Which is why, a lack of freedom and flexibility to act as you wish is likely your biggest fear, according to Brooks.

Intense Scorpio in your 12th house can stoke that fear, often making you feel as if something internal is holding you back from the adventures you’re looking to take. “Sagittarius is the philosopher of the zodiac, meaning you can get a little bit trapped in your thoughts, and especially with Scorpio in the 12th,” says Marmanides. The resulting insecurities and self-doubt could keep you from exercising your freedom, thus bringing to fruition your deepest fear.

To work through this, Brooks recommends frequently making new commitments—and sticking to them—just to prove to yourself that you do have the ability to act on your own devices and pivot accordingly.

Capricorn: fear of failure

As the zodiac’s signature high-achiever, your biggest fear is failure, Capricorn. “You have real concern about status, reputation, and achievement,” says Brooks.

In that way, you’re just the opposite of Sagittarius, which resides in your 12th house. While Sagittarius is sometimes affectionately called the “vacation sign,” you really struggle to let loose and deeply fear falling short at work. In turn, everything that Sagittarius stands for—adventure for adventure’s sake—is really what you fear most, says Marmanides. “You are afraid of things being frivolous and aimless, and you want what you do to matter.”

Mitigating this deep-seated fear of failure isn’t about trying to care less, but instead, re-contextualizing any mess-ups that you do make as stumbles, rather than major failures, says Brooks. In the same realm, it’s important to recognize when you’re engaging in toxic productivity, and take steps to disentangle some of your self-worth from your achievements.

Aquarius: fear of being seen as unoriginal

Your value is deeply tied to your intellect and creativity as the zodiac’s renegade. For this reason, your greatest fear is not being seen as original, Aquarius.

That fear also springs from the presence of Capricorn in your 12th house. Whereas Capricorn respects and admires the status quo, Aquarius loathes it. It’s Capricorn’s strict adherence to existing norms that impedes your ability to think outside of the box, fueling your fear of being ordinary, says Marmanides.

To address that fear, it’s important to focus on how, exactly, you’re working to bust the status quo—rather than just being original for originality’s sake, says Brooks. These kinds of “rebel without a cause” actions won’t actually help you feel like you’re making any real difference, which can just allow your fear of being ordinary to creep in.

Pisces: fear of not being loved

You are the sensitive empath of the zodiac, Pisces. In turn, you want nothing more than to love and be loved by someone else—and your biggest fear is not finding that love.

This fear is only deepened by the emotionally closed-off sign of Aquarius in your 12th house, says Marmanides. The independent, go-it-alone vibe of Aquarius in this part of your chart may feel deeply troubling to you. “Aquarius cares about facts and not feelings and often approaches the world with indifference, all of which reflects your deepest fears of being unloved or uncared for,” says Marmanides.

To counteract these fears, it’s important to build your self-esteem and sense of personal value, says Brooks. This way, you can become less deeply reliant on the affection of others. “Consider how you can meet your own needs for care,” says Brooks, “because in order for others to love you, it’s important to love yourself, too.”

If you’ve been dreaming of creating that Pinterest-inspired bedroom or need to swap out those flannel sheets before the thermometer starts to climb, the Brooklinen Birthday Sale has got you covered. Everything is 25 percent off now through May 8, including its famous sheets that W+G editors swear by for sweet and sweat-free dreams. Snuggle up in breezy organic cotton, airy linen, luscious mulberry silk, and buttery heathered cashmere, all for a quarter of the regular price.

With so much good stuff to choose from, it can be hard to narrow down what to bring home. That’s why we did the hard work for you: Scroll to stock up on lightweight, sweat-free bedding that’ll have you sleeping like a baby, night after night. Just do it before the Birthday Sale ends on May 8. Or, ya know, before it all sells out.

The best bedding deals from the Brooklinen Birthday Sale

Linen Core Sheet Set (Queen) — $224.00

Originally $299, now $224 (prices vary by color and size) 

Not sure where to start? How about with these beauties. Made of 100 percent linen from European flax, this core sheet set releases hot air when things get sweaty and comes with a flat sheet, fitted sheet, and two pillowcases. Summer nights, we’re ready for ya.

Sizes available: Twin to California King

Colors: 5

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Organic Percale Core Sheet Set (Queen) — $172.00

Originally $249, now $187 (prices vary by color and size) 

Brooklinen’s new organic sheets *just* got certified for being gentler on you and the planet. Now, the Organic collection is made from 100 percent GOTS-certified cotton and is OEKO-TEX certified for chemical safety, so you can sleep soundly at night. They feel as good as the original percale sheets, only they’re easier on everyone, including Mother Earth.

Sizes available: Full to California King

Colors: 5

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Linen Duvet Cover (Full/Queen) — $221.00

Originally $295, now $221 (prices vary by color and size) 

Take it from us: You’re going to want to upgrade to something as fluffy as this duvet cover. Constructed out of OEKO-certified linen, this cover is made without harsh chemicals and will keep you cool and comfortable whenever temperatures fluctuate at night. Combined with the matching sheets, you’ll want to take out your camera because it’ll be Insta-worthy.

Sizes available: Twin to California King

Colors: 14

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Luxe Core Sheet Set (Queen) — $142.00

Originally $189, now $142 (prices vary by color and size) 

True to their name, these sheets are luxe. They’re some of the brand’s best-sellers thanks to their smooth, cool-to-the-touch finish that feels like if cotton and silk had a baby. Each set includes a flat sheet, fitted sheet, and two pillowcases, aka, everything you need to cozy up in pure luxury.

Sizes available: Twin to California King

Colors: 12

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Reversible Linen Quilt (Full/Queen) — $254.00

Originally $339, now $254 (prices vary by color and size) 

This linen quilt delivers nothing short of “summer beach house”, even if you live nowhere near the seashore. Irresistibly soft, lightweight, and adorable with its rainbow-plaid print, this quilt is one you’ll want to cozy up with all year long. Plus, it’s reversible—the flip side is a beachy neutral stripe—so you’ll get two blankets for the price of one.

Sizes available: Full to California King

Colors: 2

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Lightweight Quilt Set (Full/Queen) — $197.00

Originally $262, now $197 (prices vary by color and size) 

Another beachy set, the Lightweight Quilt Set will make all your coastal-grandma dreams come true. Unlike the Linen Reversible Quilt, it’s made from 100 percent long-staple cotton that’s cool but still cozy, perfect for bundling up on hot summer nights. Each set comes with a quilt and two shams. Straw hat and glass of pinot grigio not included.

Sizes available: Full to California King

Colors: 3

 

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Linen Move-In Bundle — $547.00

Originally $862, now $549 (prices vary by size and color) 

If you need a full upgrade, Brooklinen’s Linen Move-In Bundle has it all. This feather-light set has everything you need to set the bed for summer, including a sheet bundle, comforter, two pillows, and a free silk eye mask (so luxe). After a long, cold winter, it’s basically a summer escape in bundle form.

Sizes available: Twin to Cali King

Colors: 4

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Research published in Nature Communications in May 2021 found that 120 to 150 years is the “absolute limit of human lifespan.” Using mathematical modeling to analyze (anonymous) medical data from more than 500,000 people in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Russia, researchers found that this age range is when the body fully loses resilience, or, its ability to recover from illness and injury.

The key to living a long and enjoyable life is learning how to increase your healthspan, the number of years a person lives free of debilitating disease or illness. To help you live a healthier and longer life, we’re looking to some of the most qualified longevity experts for their best advice on aging well.

8 longevity tips for increasing your healthspan

1. Follow the “five-a-day” nutrition formula

Staying on top of nutrition requirements can be tricky, so researchers at the Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health sought to make it easier with a science-backed five-a-day formula. All you need to consume is two servings of fruit and three servings of vegetables daily in order for it to have a positive impact on your healthspan.

“This amount likely offers the most benefit in terms of prevention of major chronic disease and is a relatively achievable intake for the general public,” says lead study author Dong D. Wang, MD, ScD, an epidemiologist, nutritionist, and faculty member at Harvard Medical School and Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, according to CNBC.

2. Spend time sitting on the floor

In Japan, which is home to many of the world’s oldest people, it’s common practice to sit on the floor. “I spent two days with a 103-year-old woman and saw her get up and down from the floor 30 or 40 times, so that’s like 30 or 40 squats done daily,” says Blue Zones founder Dan Buettner.

Being able to get up and down from a cross-leg seated position is a practice that’s tested through as the sitting-rising test. According to research published in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology, those who were least able to complete this movement were five or six times more likely to die than those who were best able to complete the task.

So, take a seat—it could very well increase your healthspan.

3. Get regular exercise

We all know that getting regular exercise can help you live a longer life. And a November 2020 study published in JAMA Internal Medicine found that those who engage in moderate or vigorous exercise 150 minutes per week had lower all-cause mortality, or death from any cause. This 150-minute marker aligns with the exercise recommendations from the American Heart Association.

Try this 25-minute HIIT workout:

4. Get optimistic about aging

If you’re anticipating that you’ll have an awful time in old age and doing nothing to prevent that from happening, chances are, you probably will. If you’re optimistic about aging, you’re more likely to take the steps now that can help you live a happier and longer life, shows a December 2020 study published in The International Journal of Aging and Human Development.

“What people read, see, and hear about later life affects their perceptions of old age, even when they’re young. And if they have negative stereotypes, they carry those with them throughout life, and eventually internalize the negativity,” says Shelbie Turner, MPH, co-author of the study and a PhD candidate at Oregon State University. “Then we set ourselves up for a self-fulfillment prophecy where we expect only loss and decline in old age, so are not motivated to engage in health behaviors that can prevent or delay negative aging consequences.”

5. Manage your stress

Stress management is about much more than winding down. When you manage your stress, you’re able to impact the activity of your genes. “We have about 22,500 genes, but only 1,500 of them are on at any one time,” says Michael Roizen, MD, chief wellness officer at the Cleveland Clinic. He explains that stress management can turn off genes that lead to inflammation, which can lead to issues like arthritis and heart disease. “Which genes are on or off are under your control,” says Dr. Roizen. “Which means how long you live and how well you live up to the current era is under your control.”

Try this yoga flow for stress-relief:

6. Live in the present

When Daniel Kennedy, director and producer of the docu-series Healthy Long Life, spoke to centenarians in Mexico about their lives and practices, he found that they lived in the moment. “[Many of the people I met] don’t focus on yesterday or tomorrow, they focus on today,” he says.

7. Practice compassion

Caring for others can help you live a longer and happier life. The Dalai Lama, who is just shy of his 87th birthday, says compassion is key for happiness. “Compassion…opens our heart. Fear, anger, hatred narrow your mind,” he said during a 2016 talk that celebrated his 80th birthday, according to HuffPost.

A study published in June 2020 in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that volunteering is a common hobby among those who live long lives. “Our results show that volunteerism among older adults doesn’t just strengthen communities, but enriches our own lives by strengthening our bonds to others, helping us feel a sense of purpose and well-being, and protecting us from feelings of loneliness, depression, and hopelessness,” Eric S. Kim, PhD, research scientist at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, said in a press release about the study.

8. Follow the Mediterranean Diet

You’ll hear experts recommend the Mediterranean Diet time and time again, and that’s because it’s so good. It’s centered around nutrient-dense fats, nuts, seeds, legumes, fruits, veggies, whole grains, and seafood—all of which can play an integral role in learning how to increase one’s healthspan.

“The Mediterranean Diet isn’t a specific set of rules and restrictions, making it way easier to adopt than other trendy diets,” says registered dietitian Tracy Lockwood Beckerman, MS, RD, in an episode of You Versus Food on Well+Good’s YouTube channel. “It’s got some serious scientific backing and it doesn’t have to be super expensive.” Research published in the medical journal Gut in June 2020 found that following the Mediterranean Diet may help the aging process by lowering inflammation markers and increasing both brain function and gut health.

Watch the video below to learn more about the Mediterranean diet: